KEEP YOUR TONGUE WHERE I CAN SEE IT Credit: Jack Hollingsworth/Getty Images
KEEP YOUR TONGUE WHERE I CAN SEE IT
KEEP YOUR TONGUE WHERE I CAN SEE IT! Jack Hollingsworth/Getty Images

A fancy football helmet for the kids: VICIS is the Seattle-based company revolutionizing football. And by revolutionizing, I mean “trying to make football safer”—so the word actually really fits. With state-of-the-art helmets used in the US Army and the NFL, VICIS is trying its darndest to cut down on concussions incurred by playing the sport. And it’s working. Teams using VICIS have drastically fewer concussions. VICIS is now thinking about the kids and centering themselves in the age-old dilemma: “Do I want my kid to be cool in high school or have irreparable brain damage at 45 years old.” The youngster helmets cost $495. Concussion protection is for the elite only, obviously.

The OutWest Bar in West Seattle is closing: The only shred of LGBTQ+ culture in the country (West Seattle) is closing. OutWest Bar made it eight years in the biz, but will be closing before July is out due to the difficulty of the nightlife business and also because the property owner said so. Sorry, West Seattle gays, you’re going to have to go to White Center now. Or anywhere else too probably.

Jeff, the fanboy: Bezos is a binger. His vice? Stranger Things. Fuck, even Jeff Bezos has seen the new season and I haven’t? Whatever. I’ll catch up soon. Either way, the Netflix show and Eggo waffles are getting some grade-A publicity from this Bezos Instagram post. And, while we’re at it, since when does Bezos have an Instagram?

The Smithsonian wants detained children’s artwork: The Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History wants to preserve all kinds of US history, even the worst of it. Last week, CNN shared the artwork of three children who had been released from Border Patrol custody. They were disturbing. The drawings featured people behind bars. Many had people with sad faces in them. The Smithsonian is trying to acquire them.

Surgery is back at Seattle Children’s Hospital: A mold problem caused the facility to cease operations for more than a month. There have been 70 surgeries since the operating rooms reopened on July 4. The mold infected five people and killed one. Meanwhile, the Department of Health conducted an investigation that found more than two dozen violations of federal regulations and hospital policy, according to KING 5.

Where in the world is the Mystery Soda Machine? It’s been more than a year since the machine vanished from its roost on Capitol Hill. It reappeared briefly last summer when it became a tourist in its own city for a day and visited the Space Needle. Its disappearance coincided with the Seattle Department of Transportation construction around the Capitol Hill light rail station, but no one at SDOT has a clue where it could be. Come back soon, little buddy:

Seattle’s housing market cools as Tacoma’s heats up: The dip in King County home prices continued in June, with prices falling by 2.3 percent. The median price is now $695,000. Still not quite in my budget. North and south of Seattle, home prices are on an upward trend. In Tacoma, the median home price is $376,500, which is a 7.3 percent year-over-year increase.

Crosscut’s union isn’t recognized: As you saw in Slog PM last night, Cascade Public Media had more than 90 percent of its staff sign on to a newly formed union. Unfortunately, their bosses suck just like regular bosses, and they refused to recognize the union.

Look out, Mitch: Kentucky just got interesting. Amy McGrath, a Marine combat aviator, is challenging Mitch McConnell for his Senate seat. It will be tough for a lot of reasons but especially considering that Kentucky hasn’t elected a Democrat since longer than I’ve been alive (1992).

Thousands of Kentucky fish turn up dead: No, it’s not biblical. It’s just the aftereffects of a Jim Beam warehouse fire. Around 45,000 barrels burned. Alcohol got in the water. Fish died. It’s the circle of life.

The Hong Kong extradition bill is dead: The bill, which caused mass protests in Hong Kong, is dead. After the outcry, Hong Kong leader Carrie Lam Cheng Yuet-ngor has killed the bill. She previously stated that it “will die” in 2020. The process, I guess, has been expedited.

Ross Perot dies at 89: The self-made billionaire and two-time independent presidential candidate has kicked the bucket after a five-month battle with leukemia.

Sir David Attenborough gets extreme: The father of nature documentaries spoke to the UK Parliament about how they need to step the fuck up with this climate change prevention business. He said that polluting the planet would one day be seen as abhorrent as slavery. Also, that the new generation gives him a lot of hope.

Forget the Women’s World Cup: I can’t believe no one is talking about the winners of the World Wife-Carrying Championship!

Another person was arrested for licking ice cream: It’s a viral challenge where someone licks a carton of ice cream in a store and puts it back on the shelf. It got one minor a lot of fame and into a lot of trouble. A 36-year-old Louisiana man was arrested for the same crime (criminal mischief for tampering with a product) despite the fact that he purchased the carton afterward. He just wanted to be famous, he said. All incidents have involved Blue Bell ice cream.

The 50th anniversary of the moon landing is coming up: My biggest regret in life is using the newspaper my grandma had saved from that day 50 years ago in my eighth-grade history project on the Space Race. My mom went to get it laminated to put on my poster board, and everyone at Kinkos told her that would ruin the paper over time. She did it anyway. I got an A. I don’t know what happened to that newspaper.

Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: Day two of The Stranger‘s first-ever Burger Week, a synth-pop show with Beatrix Sky, and Jawbox‘s reunion tour after a 10-year hiatus.

Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...