Quick! Get to the hills! We need you to fight fires!
Quick! Get to the hills! We need you to fight fires with your insatiable gut! WENDY/JEFF SPARKS/TORQUEMADA/ GETTY IMAGES

University of Washington gets major investment from Knight Foundation to study fake news: The college will create the "UW Center for an Informed Public" after receiving $5 million from the Knight Foundation, the college announced today. "JUST FUND THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT. WE COVER THAT IN COMPOSITION," yelled a rogue former poetry professor from the corner of our office.

The poop beaches are re-opening: But only some of them. Discovery Park and Kitsap County beaches have opened back up for swimming after "ABOUT 3 MILLION GALLONS" OF UNTREATED SEWAGE SPILLED INTO PUGET SOUND ON FRIDAY, reports the Seattle Times.

Also, this is still happening: Turning these diverse, progressive congresswomen into "a very Racist group of troublemakers" is peak Trumpian. Yesterday, Trump said the four representatives were "not capable of loving the US."

Two Gretna, Louisiana police officers fired for suggesting AOC should be shot: Here's one of the offending Facebook passages: "This vile idiot needs a round....and I don't mean the kind she used to serve," referring to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. The sentence was attached to a Facebook link to "bogus" news from "TatersGonnaTate.com." After firing the officers, the Gretna Police Chief called the situation "disturbing" and "an embarrassment to our department."

Some bipartisan deal-making for your evening: "Real compromise" is happening on a two year, $1.37 trillion budget deal, says Trump. He also says there are no poison pill amendments in the deal which raises the debt ceiling—although maybe there should be—but I also doubt Trump has read one page of this deal. "We're doing very well on debt," Trump told reporters today in the Oval Office. "I think we're doing very well on a budget."

How am I supposed to feel about this?: Also, I have no idea if this is a conservative deep fake or not DON'T @ ME.

Need to cleanse your eyeballs after that grampa kiss?: Check out these photos from Sunday's inaugural Northwest Thrift-Con, or one of our many photo sets from this weekend's Capitol Hill Block Party. Jack, Timothy, and Lester take great photos!

Trump likes Pakistani reporters better than US reporters: I don't know, something about this guy screams dictator.

Maybe he doesn't like US journalists because we report on things like this: A report published on Friday found that "Trump has not built a single mile of new border fence after 30 months in office."

I can't believe Nathalie missed this story about goats saving us from wildfires this AM: Goats are basically her beat. As are fires. Anyhow, the Seattle Times published a story this morning about Spanish Boer goats who are working "double shifts" to protect a Wenatchee neighborhood from wildfire. How? By eating Russian thistle, Himalayan blackberry, blue bunch wheatgrass, knapweed, and other grasses prone to igniting during these "hot" summer months. While the goats are busy pulling 15 to 16-hour days, there don't seem to be any calls for a goat union.

UPDATE: Nathalie is fired.


Nothing pays like being evil: Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, a billionaire with a known charter school kink, has seen her investments skyrocket after Donald Trump's tax reform bill and deregulation efforts went into effect, reports CNBC. The DeVos family is just one of many business leaders and families who have profited off of Trump's pro-business policies. The DeVos family's estimated net worth is around $5.4 billion, according to CNBC.

Brandi Carlile is starting a wine club: She curates all of it and 100% of her profits benefit the Looking Out Foundation, which apparently "amplifies the impact of music by empowering those without a voice." I'm not an authority on the topic, but this screams Big Lesbian Energy to me. More info on the club here.

An island-wide strike is occuring in Puerto Rico: Demanding their governor's resignation. CNN has live updates here.

Get this guy some help: Logan Paul went on Fox Business today and claimed to be the fastest entertainer alive, probably a ghost, and not controversial. None of these things are true, to the best of my knowledge, but he did say this is "the beginning of the end" for him, and I hope that part is true. I spent too much time wondering why Logan Paul was even on Fox Business this morning, but came to the same conclusion as Splinter: "It makes sense—Paul, from all available evidence, is low-key evil, and so is Fox Business (well, hold the 'low-key'). But hoo boy was I not prepared for whatever in the hell this thing was." Watch:

"You don’t want to be the antifa cop": That's a quote from a feature in the Guardian about leftists and anarchists stocking up on guns in Seattle that was published this afternoon. It zooms in on the Puget Sound John Brown Gun Club (PSJBGC) that showed up to "assist with security" at Seattle's recent Trans Pride. The Proud Boys and "other fascist provocateurs" threatened to break up the event, but it doesn't appear they showed up. Maybe because the PSJBGC was there? (What a clunky initialism.)

Let's close out today's round-up with some wedding inspo: My grandma always says that the family who "owns the libs" together, stays together.