Yep, thats Bellevue alright.
Yep, that's Bellevue alright. SEASTOCK/Getty Images

The Environmental Protection Agency is a fucking oxymoron: Trump's EPA has just loosened restrictions on an open-pit mine in Alaska’s Bristol Bay. That region contains the most sockeye salmon runs. This is supposedly the first step in a bigger plan to permit a review of the Pebble Mine, a hotbed of precious metals. The Obama administration put the original restrictions in place.

A downtown Bellevue apartment-turned-brothel: Apparently it's not as uncommon as it sounds. Police found an ad online for a woman who was allegedly forced into sex work against her will. She was working in the brothel and earning a sizeable amount of cash—$2,100 a day—but not seeing most of it. Another woman was arrested for promoting prostitution and is believed to be connected to more brothels.

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The dichotomy of downtown Seattle: Basically, this Seattle Times article is saying that downtown is two opposite ends of a spectrum and could play a pivotal role in the election. That's because downtown's population has boomed but its homeless population has also kept pace. The Times looked at 911 calls and saw a 40 percent increase in the amount made in the last eight years. Most of those calls, however, are coming from businesses.

Perfect days ahead: Unless you're a gray-day curmudgeon like my roommate Nicole.

Washington licenses to reflect nonbinary residents: If you're neither male nor female you may have a third option to put on your Washington state driver's license. Last year, Washington started allowing a third gender option—"X"—to be filed on birth certificates. However, there was no X option on peoples' driver's licenses. That could change. Gov. Jay Inslee just announced a push for inclusion and plans to change up the gender selection for licenses.

Got a little diddy stuck in your head? You'll be able to play it out in Seattle parks starting next month. In August, Pianos in the Parks starts. Which will, yes, place pianos in parks.

They caught him in the knick(ers) of time:

Boy charged with assault for hitting another kid with a dodgeball: A 10-year-old Detroit boy nailed a 9-year-old boy with a ball. He allegedly threw it "with force." Enough force that this 9-year-old kid got a concussion. The mother of the older boy said that the only reason he was charged with aggravated assaulted was that he was "a black boy." The race of the injured boy wasn't released.

Trump called Baltimore "rodent-infested" and it's sorta true: His son-in-law, Jared Kushner, has property in Baltimore. It's overrun with mice, according to residents, and has been for over a year. It's not just mice. Kushner's properties are in such disrepair that Baltimore County government released a report showing that Kushner's company had "violated housing codes more than 200 times in just 10 months," according to the Associated Press.

I guess we've got to talk about this debate: Last night was the first of two Democratic debates. It pitted progressives Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren against the more moderate coalition of candidates. Oh, and also Marianne Williamson, the spirit guide anti-vaxxer who really knows how to public speak and is attracting a fanbase.

It was a combative night: Rep. John Delaney (D-Md.), a man whose face you've seen a million times and whose name you will never remember, aimed for the jugular in his opening statement. He said that “we cannot go down the road that Sen. Sanders and Sen. Warren want to take us.” Other Nobody Men candidates like Gov. John Hickenlooper from Colorado echoed that with his assertion that he was pragmatic rather than progressive.

Elizabeth Warren has my axe: And my vote. Here's her response to Delaney's claim that she is peddling "fairytale policies."

The chaos magicians are on Marianne Williamson's side: A group of Williamson supporters have made a coalition called the "occult task force," which is dedicated to using "synchronized gestures” to help the candidate gain more attention during the debate. The occult task force is made up of 13 chaos magicians, witches, and energy workers, the Hill reports. Williamson is trying to distance herself from the taskforce and the so-called "orb gang."

This video cracked me the fuck up:

You hate to see it: Arizona man learns mom's body sold to military, detonated in experiment

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Things look like they're escalating in Hong Kong: Chinese forces have started to mobilize at the Hong Kong border in the wake of ongoing protests. The White House is keeping an eye on the situation. Protests began two months ago over a controversial bill that would extradite Hong Kong residents to mainland China. The bill was killed but discontent remains.

Want to see a video of people doing their jobs? I recommend not listening with sound because whoever set the music to this compilation has terrible taste.

Tonight's best Seattle entertainment options include: Sara Porkalob's musical 7th and Jackson, a show with Detroit alt-rocker Steph Chura, and the trilingual reading and music night the Every Other.

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