Jo and Boris Johnson. Its gonna be awkward at Christmas this year.
Jo and Boris Johnson. It's gonna be awkward at Christmas this year. Leon Neal/Getty

At least 20 people in the Bahamas are dead from Hurricane Dorian. The massive hurricane continues to creep slowly north, with winds of up to 115 miles per hour. Officials at the National Hurricane Center say that Dorian could bring "life threatening storm surge with significant coastal flooding along a large portion of the Southeast and Mid-Atlantic coasts of the United States during the next couple of days." Good luck to Florida, Georgia, and the Carolinas.

BoJo's brother JoJo quits Parliament. The drama continues in the UK where new prime minister and villain from a Roald Dahl novel Boris Johnson lost another ally: his brother, who resigned from Parliament. Jo Johnson announced his departure on Twitter:


If you need an explainer on wtf is happening over there, check out this week's Blabbermouth podcast.

Measles are so in right now. The BBC reports that more than 1,000 cases of measles have been reported in New Zealand this year. The disease, which is highly contagious and can be deadly, can be easily prevented with the MMR vaccine, but vaccine rates continue to drop around the world thanks to misinformation, often spread online, about the connection between vaccines and autism. Word to the wise: If you find yourself getting health advice from Facebook, it's time to delete your account.

There was a seven-hour climate-change debate last night. CNN hosted its first ever climate crisis town hall with the top Democratic hopefuls for president. We'll have analysis coming up later in the day, but in short: It was very long and actually kind of informative. Turns out that when you give these people time to explain their positions instead of 40 seconds to repeat platitudes and argue over the mic, they will. Who knew.

Idiot president's idiotic border wall has local impacts. The Kitsap Sun reports that nearly $90 million in proposed funding for a coast guard pier at the Bangor military base has been reallocated to Trump's totally unnecessary and very embarrassing border wall. This is one of 127 military construction projects that will lose funding in order to pay for Trump's giant ego.

A man broke into a house in Seattle and ate a bowl of cereal. KIRO reports that a couple in Greenwood awoke to noises in their kitchen as a guy high on meth rooted around in their fridge looking for something to eat. He settled on a bowl of Raisin Bran, and the couple called the police. The police said that prior to breaking into their home, the suspect "urinated on Linden Avenue North then was dancing and clapping in front of a garage." It's a little weird, but still a better outcome than eating someone's face. No one was hurt, but the cereal killer was arrested.

Meanwhile in Rhode Island, a man broke into Taylor Swift's home, took off his shoes, and "hung out." NJ.com reports that a 26-year-old New Jersey man scaled a wall on Swift's property and broke a glass door to enter her seven bedroom, nine bathroom house. He is the third man to attempt to break in to Swift's property this summer but the first to successfully do it. He told police he took off his shoes to be "polite."

Neighbors retaliate against vegan's lawsuit with massive barbecue. Last year, a vegan woman in Australia sued her neighbors for grilling meat, smoking outdoors, and letting their kids play basketball, which, she said, prevented her from enjoying her yard. Now the neighbors have planned a barbecue in her honor, and 9,000 people have RSVPed to the event on Facebook. It's kind of hard to tell who is the asshole here, so I'm going with... both.

Jussie Smollett's lawyers blame Chicago Police Department for the cost of investigating his case. The AP reports that attorneys for alleged hate crime victim hoaxer Jussie Smollett are arguing that the Empire star shouldn't have to repay the City of Chicago the $130,000 the police spent investigating his bullshit because he "had no way of knowing how much time officers would spend on the probe." For more on the Smollett case, watch Dave Chappelle's new Netflix special.

Michigan bans flavored e-cigs. It is the first state to do so. Cigarettes and other tobacco products are still legal.

Scarlett Johansson has the biggest balls in Hollywood. The actor became one of the few people willing to publicly stand up for Woody Allen, telling the Hollywood Reporter, "I love Woody. I believe him, and I would work with him anytime." Allen has been accused of molestation by his daughter Dylan Farrow, and while multiple investigations cleared him of the charges, he's been largely shunned by the entertainment industry and has been unable to find distribution for recent projects.

Tonight's best Seattle entertainment options include: A Town Hall talk with Black Lives Matter scholar Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor, the Pioneer Square Art Walk, and a night of expansive psychedelia with Darsombra, Monster Boob, and Fungal Abyss.