I recently was hired to teach a class at a college and I love it. I gave my students my phone number so they could contact me if they needed to. Mistake number one. Later on after the first class after I already put my students’ numbers in my phone. Mistake number two. I was laughing with my friend on the phone about the new nine-inch dildo I got in the mail from Amazon and texted her a picture of it without my glasses on. Mistake number three. However, a student in my class has the same first name as my friend’s name and the pic of the dildo went to her instead. I realized my mistake seconds after the text went through and I panicked, so I immediately texted this student back: “I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to send a picture to you!” Mistake number four. She eventually texted back, “Who’s this?"

I don’t know what to do and I’m mortified and scared that she will report me and I’ll lose my job. Do I admit it was me? Do I change my number? Do I pull her aside after class and explain my totally honest mistake? I am freaking out about this and I have learned my lesson to never give students your number. I'm assuming the student is over 18 and I'm also assuming this student knows that people make mistakes, but I need some guidance. People in send accidental texts that sometimes include dildos, right?

Wrong Text

People send accidental texts. People also send purposeful texts and then claim they were accidental texts... but most of people who send inappropriate/dirty texts and/or dildo/dic pics on purpose and them claim they sent them accidentally are men people, WT, and you are not a man person. (You don't make that clear in your letter, but it's clear from the name on your email account.) And many not-actually-accidental texts are, again, photos of actual dicks. So in a just/commonsensical world you would get the benefit of the doubt and not lose your job if this student realizes it was her teacher who sent the dildo pic and was so traumatized she filed a complaint.

But we don't live in a just/commonsensical world. We live in a world filled with nervous college administrators who don't wanna be accused of treating female malefactors differently than male malefactors... so you would probably lose your job... if this student were to file a complaint... which she might be likelier to do if that awkward, unwelcome dildo pic was followed up by an awkward, unwelcome conversation about that dildo pic.

So I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you, WT, and hope the student who received the dildo pic isn't 1. traumatized by it and 2. exercised enough to try and figure out whose phone number it came from. Make no further mention of your phone number in class, stick to email for convos with students, and delete your students' names and numbers from your phone.

And if you have a good working relationship with your boss (or dean or whatever), WT, you should go tell them what happened, acknowledge that it was a huge mistake, and outline what steps you've taken to make sure it never happens again. Then, if the student does file a complaint, there’s an existing record of your (accurate and honest) version of events. If you don't feel like you confide in your boss (or dean or whatever), confide in a trusted colleague or friend and explain what happened and, again, what you're doing to make sure it doesn't happen again. And do it via email so it’s date-stamped.

UPDATE: Not a bad idea, DiscoGirl...

Get a new number, and tell your students that your old phone was stolen.