Hey, Savage. So I got to talking with this girl and got her number. I set up a date and on the date it seemed to be going smooth but I didn’t go in for the kiss but it was still a good time and I was telling her that first borns and last borns are great matches so my intentions were quite clear. Then we texted and she told me she wasn’t looking for dating/relationship right now but I wanted to test her words and down the line asked her to meet up with me. She agreed and we got a pizza and she came to my place and she was on my bed chilling. I made my “move” and asked so you wanna find out if last borns and first borns make for a good kiss and she said no. Then she brought up the old convo of not wanting any intimate thing but to me it’s a contradiction cause why would she be in my house and on my bed then? Is she playing "hard to get"? Anyhow after that I dropped her off and later that week she sent me a text saying "so did you get the part where I'm not looking for a relationship" and I said now I do when you were at my place and we didn’t kiss that confirmed it but I think we need to cool hanging and chatting cause for me it could be time spent elsewhere and she replied with a simple "cool."

So I’m just asking was I right to pull the cord or is there any way I could close this deal cause her actions indicate she likes me though her words don’t. It’s quite the conundrum. Please advise. Do it for the culture and help ya boi.

What's Up With Her

Birth order doesn't, as we now know, have an any effect on personality. So it doesn't have any effect on romantic relationships or the odds a kiss will be any good.

As for what's up with this girl, WUWH, I couldn't tell you. But from my vantage point... it kinda looks like she might've given you what so many rejected guys claim they want. She gave you a second chance. You hung out once, and she wasn't feeling it and she said so. She clearly communicated her disinterest in dating you or being in a relationship with you. Then you invited her over, and she agreed to see you again. It sounds less like she was playing "hard to get" and more like she was considering the possibility of potentially getting with you. Again, WUWH, she may have been giving you what so many guys in your position say they want: a second chance. And she determined, after the pizza and chilling and the second chance, that she didn't feel any differently—she still wasn't interested. And she said so.

While I can understand why that would frustrate you, and while I can understand why you might look at her behavior and see those dreaded-but-not-exactly-deadly mixed signals, instead of being angry, confused, or butthurt about her actions, WUWH, you could choose to be grateful that she gave you a second chance at all. And instead of choosing to view this girl as some sort of conundrum ("a confusing or difficult question"), you could choose to view her statements as conclusive ("putting an end to debate or question").

And good on you, WUWH, for communicating your feelings. You're interested in her sexually and/or romantically, and you aren't interested in seeing her again if she doesn't feel the same way about you. If pizza and chilling and sitting on the edge of your bed are all things you reserve for girls who wanna get with you, aka "intimate partners," you were right to pull the cord.

Finally, WUWH, it's far better to use your words—like you did when she came over for pizza—than it is to "go in for the kiss," aka "lunge at a woman," which you contemplated doing the first time you hung out. Trust me on this: There's nothing unsexy about being asked for a kiss; indeed, hearing someone you want to kiss say, "I would really like to kiss you. May I kiss you?" (or some variation thereof) is incredibly sexy. And if turns out you're misreading signals and/or engaged in dickful thinking, well, it's far better to hear an awkward "no" than to be on the giving or receiving end of an unwanted and awkward kiss.


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