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I don't want to make you conservative on LGBT issues but please realize that there is a person you would want to marry of the opposite sex who lives on our planet or another planet in another galaxy (an extraterrestrial female) and that person would make you happier than any male could. That goes for all homosexuals and lesbians. Their opposite-sex soulmates can be found on our planet or on one of the zillions of planets that have intelligent life beings on them in our dimension. There are billions of galaxies in our universe and zillions of universes in our dimension. Anyway I think you are cool and I am a fan.

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Something To Think About

I have nothing to say in response to STTA's letter... but it's definitely the letter of the day, week, month, and year.

Actually, I do have something to say: I've never encountered a woman on earth that I wanted to make out with, much less marry, but let's say my opposite-sex soulmate exists right now on some other planet or in some other dimension. The odds that are I'll meet her in my lifetime are pretty much nonexistent... because inter-dimensional space travel doesn't exist. (We're still working on self-driving cars.) And while it's true that there are zillions of planets out there, STTA, no other lifeforms have been discovered on any of those other planets—to say nothing of women so hot they could turn me straight. And we have no way of knowing if extraterrestrial life forms, if they exist, even reproduce sexually. And even if I were to concede that it's possible there's a woman or something that resembles one on some other planet out there who could be my soulmate (after conceding that soulmates are even a thing), STTA, that's not going to get my cock sucked here on earth, is it?

Quick bonus question to bring us back down to earth...

I have a pretty basic "which is worse" scenario that I've been struggling with for almost two years and I don't feel as if I have someone in my life who I really care to troubleshoot with and get a legitimate answer or suggestions I have faith in. So, which do you believe is more emotionally damaging in the long run:

1. To be a single woman in her mid-late thirties so focused on career/success/money/personal goals that she likely won't date or have serious relationships/friendships for the foreseeable future? (At least 5+ years.) But a woman who could ultimately be happier than ever because she enjoys being successful and the drive to accomplish her personal goals? She would travel alone, probably a lot, save a bunch of money, and buy property on her own.

2. Stay in a relationship with someone who 50% of the time is great and the other 50% makes her wonder how can anyone be so miserable in life and so scared of failure hat they half-ass everything? My boyfriend and I are coming up on two years together and he wants to start looking at purchasing a home. I clam up every time we talk about it because I DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK and I already feel stuck. I've tried breaking up probably five or six times now because he truly sucks the joy out of most situations. He hates society, commercialism, his job, his friends, and I'm pretty sure he really doesn't even like ME that much! But every time we have a major blow up and I talk about breaking up he starts saying how happy he is and how wonderful I make his life. I DON'T GET IT. He gives me stability, I guess. He gives me the normalcy of having a companion and someone to come home to. But does that even matter? I realize there are MILLIONS of single women in the world who are very happy. But are they really? Is the stigma still there? Am I asking for trouble starting allover again and maybe delaying love/companionship for another 5+ years?

Kinda Wannabe Alone But Fear I Will Regret It Immediately

So what I hear your saying is... you might regret it if you go but you’ll definitely regret it if you stay. So go. Some single women are miserable, it's true, but the same can be said of some partnered women, KWBABFIWRII, and you kinda sounds like you're already in the latter camp. (For the record: some of everyone is miserable.) And how do you know that focusing on your career right now means you'll be alone for the rest of your life? You could meet a man through work who's just as focused on his career as you are and a wind up in a long-term, low-stakes, mutually-pleasurable FWB relationship that slowly blossoms into something more. Or you could meet a series of men. Or you could wind up meeting a guy without much professional ambition or drive but who loves life and loves you and is trustworthy and responsible and wants nothing more than to be your househusband—some guy who wants to look after your dog while you're working long hours, take care of your house, and keep food on your table.

As for the guy you're with now and you keep trying to dump, KWBABFIWRII, it's like I told STUCK here...

We need someone's consent before we kiss them, suck them, fuck them, spank them, spoon them, marry them, collar them, etc. But we do not need someone's consent to leave them. Breakups are the only aspect of our romantic and/or sexual lives where the other person's consent is irrelevant. The other person's pain is relevant, of course, and we should be as compassionate and considerate as possible when ending a relationship. (Unless we're talking about dumping an abuser, in which case safety and self-care are all that matters.) But we don't need someone's consent to dump them. That means you don't have to win an argument to break up with your boyfriend, STUCK, nor do you have to convince him your reasons are rational.

You have the power to make the next time you breakup with your boyfriend the last time you breakup with your boyfriend. And he starts telling you how happy you make him, KWBABFIWRII, tell him that's nice but irrelevant. The issue, the reason you're leaving him, is that he doesn't make you happy.


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Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.

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