A winner.
A winner. JOE RAEDLE / GETTY IMAGES

We've got transcripts, baby! House committees, reaching a "new public phase" of the impeachment inquiry, have released two key transcripts from their previously private investigations. The first, from former US Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch, can be read here. The second, from former senior adviser to the secretary of state Ambassador Michael McKinley, here. Among many details in the transcripts, it was revealed Yovanovitch feels threatened by Trump.

Three day weekends forever: Microsoft tested out a 4-day work week in Japan over the summer and "saw productivity—measured by sales per employee—jump by 40 percent compared to the same period from the year before," reports GeekWire. Microsoft also says they saw a 23 percent drop in electricity consumption with the change. I approve!!!!

The Future Is Gassy: Air pollution in India's capital, New Delhi, has grown so severe that it's poisonous. Schools have been canceled, construction projects stalled, and car-use restricted. "In many areas over the weekend, levels of deadly particulate matter reached around 60 times the global safety threshold, or the equivalent of smoking more than two packs of cigarettes a day," writes the New York Times. A video:

Bernie Sanders slams Apple's $2.5 billion pledge to help California's housing crisis: The tech giant announced it would fund an affordable housing investment fund today, but Sanders said it was a distraction. A part of his statement:

“Apple’s announcement that it is entering the real estate lending business is an effort to distract from the fact that it has helped create California’s housing crisis – all while raking in $800 million of taxpayer subsidies, and keeping a quarter trillion dollars of profit offshore, in order to avoid paying billions of dollars in taxes.

How does Apple's housing commitment stack up against Microsoft, Amazon, and other tech giants' "commitments" to funding affordable housing? GeekWire's Monica Nickelsburg broke it down. "In some ways, Apple’s initiative is a larger-scale version of the program Microsoft launched earlier this year," she writes.

Did you hear a big boom last night? It wasn't Russia attacking—it was a meteor.

Instead of working on fixing their digital ad archive, Facebook has focused on rebranding to: FACEBOOK. ALL CAPS. FACEBOOK. DON'T FORGET. From now on, Facebook is FACEBOOK.

E. Jean Carroll is taking Trump to court: The advice columnist, who accused Trump of raping her in an article with The Cut earlier this year, sued the President for defamation today. After the article was published, Trump said he'd never met Carroll and claimed she was making the story up to sell copies of her book, which the article was a part of. Now, she's suing.

Let's pivot to food news: First, some hot slices. It's almost our inaugural Pizza Week! Here's all the info on where you can get $2 slices next week.

Please buy me this sweet, sweet dough: Have you been to Dochi? It's at the northwest entrance of Uwajimaya and serves up MOCHI DOUGHNUTS. It opened in August. I'm so hungry. I just ate a big bowl of kimchi mac and cheese from Bok a Bok but I'm a bottomless pit. Have you ever had their Bowl of Shame? I'm so hungry. I already said that.


The Electoral College could save Trump yet again: Despite a dismal approval rating, despite impeachment proceedings, despite rape allegations and bad tweets and an allegiance with the devil, Trump may win in 2020 because of the fucking Electoral College. Again. A new New York Times and Sienna College poll shows "how Trump has a clear path to winning a second term even as he remains unpopular nationally." If that makes you nauseous, I recommend focusing on our own important Electoral College-free election happening RIGHT NOW. (Lost your ballot? Not registered? No worries, Nathalie Graham has you covered.)

A huge day for prison reform efforts: With bipartisan backing, at least 462 non-violent inmates were released from Oklahoma prisons today in what is being called the largest mass commutation in U.S. history. More from CNN:

In 2016, Oklahoma passed reforms that would turn some low-level felonies into misdemeanors. For example, possession of a small amount of drugs became a misdemeanor, and the threshold for a property crime becoming a felony increased from $500 in property value to $1,000 in value.

Of the hundreds of inmates who had their sentences commuted:

— The average age is 39.7 years old
— 75% are men, and 25% are women
— They had been incarcerated for three years
— They were being released an average of 1.34 years early

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Remember that gruesome robbery that happened at Bob's Burgers in SeaTac last month? Where multiple customers and employees were allegedly tied up and assaulted? King County Sheriff Mitzi Johanknecht is calling it a deliberate hoax. "Participants decided they would pin this fake robbery on two Samoan males. Not only do we have a hoax, we have a racially-motivated one." This shit is bananas.

Love thy neighbor: Even if they are... oh God... FACEBOOK!

Let's end on some good news: Trump's taxes. They're coming. Probably.