The new romantic comedy Last Christmas explores humankind’s greatest question: What if we took George Michael’s song “Last Christmas”... LITERALLY???!??

When we meet our star, Kate (short for Katerina—she’s a Yugoslavian refugee, of course), played by Emilia Clarke, it’s almost Christmas. She had a heart transplant during the previous holiday season—or “last Christmas,” if you will. But she’s a mess! We know this because she’s always like: “I’m a mess! LOL.”

Kate wants to be a singer, but she doesn’t even know how to ice-skate. She works as an elf at a Christmas store with a woman called Santa (Michelle Yeoh). Kate’s mother (Emma Thompson) is also a Yugoslavian refugee, but she can’t sleep because of Brexit!

Kate meets Tom (Henry Golding), and he’s super annoying, and she’s really mean to him. Nobody else can see him, and he can’t be reached by phone, and she loves him (she gives him her heart, metaphorically). But still, she wonders: Who gave her their heart, literally?

Then: a twist! I won’t spoil it for you, but I will say that it has echoes of M. Night Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense, where we discovered at the end that one of the main characters was dead the whole time. Okay, good luck!

This movie is bad. It’s so bad. But what’s great is that if it’s even a modest hit, it could inspire a whole cinematic universe of movies loosely based on George Michael songs, and “Father Figure” would be weird as hell. Go see Last Christmas!

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