I'm a 30-something heteroflexible woman from the Pacific Northwest. My husband and I enjoy same-room play with singles and couples. We have had many great brief experiences in sex clubs and on vacations. Now we are seeking like-minded couples to for friendships and possibly play partners. We have been exploring apps to help us find people who may be in line with our desires. And here’s the problem.... I recognized a couple on an app. A couple in which one person is a superior at my place of work. I'm maybe in this person's presence once per month on average. Now the couple has messaged us expressing interest. Do I need to reveal my knowledge of who they are? Do I pull the ripcord and bail/block? Is it okay to purse a friendship (or maybe more) with them? They could be the kind of couple we are looking for, i.e. smart, professional, discreet. I don’t know what the next move should be.

Spotted Superior On Adult App

Sigh.

I'm supposed to tell you not to fuck anyone who works over or under you, SSOAA, so let's get that out of the way: seeing as the couple in question is fifty percent comprised of someone who works over you and seeing as the couple you're a part of is fifty percent comprised of someone who works under one half of them, SSOAA, you shouldn't fuck this couple. Bail, block, move on. Because "even a consensual relationship with a subordinate is inappropriate," as someone or other once said, so it wouldn't be appropriate for this person—for your superior—to continue to pursue you once they realize you work under them. And since someone who works beside you is one promotion away from working over you and vice-versa, it's probably best not to fuck anyone who works beside you either. Over, under, beside—don't fuck people you work with.

And with that said...

You know...

If you work at a big company with tens of thousands of employees all of them packed into a city that's not very big... and if the kind of liberal and progressive perverts who're likelier to be in open relationships are overrepresented in your field and are therefore likelier to show up in the same sex clubs you do... and just as likely to be seeking unicorns, thirds, fourths, etc., on the same hookup apps you are... well... the odds that you'll eventually wind up fucking someone who works over, under, or beside you seem pretty high... and that's assuming you haven't already fucked someone who works over, under, or beside you without even realizing it... so... yeah... from where I'm sitting it kind of seems silly to disqualify this couple. (Full disclosure: I'm sitting at Ann Landers' desk*.)

And it sounds like this person is your superior but not your supervisor. Which means they aren't—at least at the moment—someone you report to. So if you got involved with them and then it suddenly looked like that might change, well, then you could go to HR, disclose the relationship, and ask to be transferred to a different department. But that would only be necessary if you started fucking with this couple, SSAAA, which you shouldn't and, of course, aren't going to do. Because it would be wrong. Deliciously and irresistibly wrong.

* A link for the people under forty.