Someone, give Greta Gerwig a fucking Golden Globes nomination, STAT.
Someone, give Greta Gerwig a fucking Golden Globes nomination, STAT. Getty Images/Christopher Polk
At the asscrack of dawn on the West Coast, the nominations for the 77th Golden Globes, put on by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, were announced. Here are some quick takeaways:

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association can't see women*: Wow. WOW. Céline Sciamma. Alma Har’el. Greta Gerwig. Marielle Heller. Lulu Wang. Lorene Scafaria. Olivia Wilde. Mati Diop. NONE of these women who directed some of the greatest movies in this cycle were nominated in the "Best Director" category, a major and embarrassing snub for the HFPA.

Not only were they shut out from this race, but from the "Best Motion Picture" categories as well. As the LA Times points out, only male-directed films were nominated in both the drama and comedy/musical categories. The only female-directed films up for nomination in broader categories were Jennifer Lee's Frozen 2 in the animated film category and The Farewell and Portrait of a Lady on Fire in the foreign-language category.

Since the uproar over the snubs this morning, the HFPA president Lorenzo Soria broke out an argument familiar to anyone who has brought up gender parity, ever. "What happened is that we don’t vote by gender. We vote by film and accomplishment,” Soria told Variety. Barry Adelman, an executive producer of the Globes, also said, " I also think that if you look at some of the other things…a lot of the big television shows are created by women, so I think across the board there is a good representation." Oh shove it!

*In the 77-year long history of the awards ceremony, only five female directors have been nominated: Barbra Streisand for both Yentl and The Prince of Tides, Jane Campion for The Piano, Sofia Coppola for Lost in Translation, Ava DuVernay for Selma, and Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty. Only Streisand won for Yentl in 1984.

Here's a clip from the Mati Diop-directed Atlantics, her debut.

Best Supporting Actor hasn't changed since 1994: In general, the acting categories are pretty white this year (as usual), but I wanted to point this out because there are a bunch of old-head actors being nominated: Al Pacino, Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins, Joe Pesci, Tom Hanks. The 70s, 80s, 90s are alive and well my friends. Looking purely at the names in this category, it's as if the last three decades never even happened. No way an actor under 50 gave a good performance this year, nope.

Netflix has a strong showing: The streaming giant has 17 nominations, the most of any studio. HBO is close on its tail with 15 nominations.

The "Bong Hive" is PRESENT and ready to fucking go: It's weird how foreign-language films are boxed into a category all their own, as the best film of the year is often not in English. In any case, Bong Joon-ho's incredible Parasite is nominated in the foreign picture, screenplay, and director categories. I'm hoping he nabs both the director and screenplay awards!

Best Television Series - Drama: The hot mess that was the second season of Big Little Lies was nominated, as well as media darling, Succession. The biggest surprise is The Morning Show, which is Apple TV+'s first award nomination, ever. Jennifer Aniston was also nominated for her performance in the show, shutting out what I thought was going to be a certain nomination for Zendaya for her role as Rue in HBO's Euphoria. The HFPA is scared of the Zoomers, people!

Check out the full list of nominations below:

MOTION PICTURE AWARDS

Best Motion Picture - Drama
1917
The Irishman
Joker
Marriage Story
The Two Popes

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Dolemite Is My Name
Jojo Rabbit
Knives Out
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Rocketman

Best Director - Motion Picture
Bong Joon-ho, Parasite
Sam Mendes, 1917
Todd Phillips, Joker
Martin Scorsese, The Irishman
Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Christian Bale, Ford v Ferrari
Antonio Banderas, Pain and Glory
Adam Driver, Marriage Story
Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
Jonathan Pryce, The Two Popes

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Comedy Or Musical
Daniel Craig, Knives Out
Roman Griffin Davis, Jojo Rabbit
Leonardo DiCaprio, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Taron Egerton, Rocketman
Eddie Murphy, Dolemite Is My Name

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Cynthia Erivo, Harriet
Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story
Saoirse Ronan, Little Women
Charlize Theron, Bombshell
Renee Zellweger, Judy

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Comedy Or Musical
Ana De Armas, Knives Out
Awkwafina, The Farewell
Cate Blanchett, Where’d You Go Bernadette
Beanie Feldstein, Booksmart
Emma Thompson, Late Night

Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Anthony Hopkins, The Two Popes
Al Pacino, The Irishman
Joe Pesci, The Irishman
Brad Pitt, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Kathy Bates, Richard Jewell
Annette Bening, The Report
Laura Dern, Marriage Story
Jennifer Lopez, Hustlers
Margot Robbie, Bombshell

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture
Marriage Story
The Two Popes
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Parasite
The Irishman

Best Original Score - Motion Picture
1917
Joker
Little Women
Marriage Story
Motherless Brooklyn

Best Original Song - Motion Picture
“Beautiful Ghosts,” Cats
“I’m Gonna Love Me Again,” Rocketman
“Into the Unknown,” Frozen 2
“Spirit,” The Lion King
“Stand Up,” Harriet

Best Motion Picture-Foreign
The Farewell
Les Miserables
Pain and Glory
Portrait of a Lady on Fire
Parasite

Best Animated Feature Film
Frozen 2
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
Lion King
Missing Link
Toy Story 4

Cecil B. DeMille Award for Lifetime Achievement in Motion Pictures
Tom Hanks :)

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TELEVISION AWARDS

Best Television Series - Drama
Big Little Lies
The Crown
Killing Eve
The Morning Show
Succession

Best Television Series - Comedy Or Musical
Barry
Fleabag
The Kominsky Method
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
The Politician

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Drama
Brian Cox, Succession
Kit Harington, Game of Thrones
Rami Malek, Mr. Robot
Tobias Menzies, The Crown
Billy Porter, Pose

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Comedy Or Musical
Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method
Bill Hader, Barry
Ben Platt, The Politician
Paul Rudd, Living With Yourself
Ramy Youssef, Ramy

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Drama
Jennifer Aniston, The Morning Show
Olivia Colman, The Crown
Jodie Comer, Killing Eve
Nicole Kidman, Big Little Lies
Reese Witherspoon, The Morning Show

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Comedy Or Musical
Christina Applegate, Dead to Me
Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Kirsten Dunst, On Becoming a God in Central Florida
Natasha Lyonne, Russian Doll
Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag

Best Limited Series or Motion Picture made for Television
Catch-22
Chernobyl
Fosse/Verdon
The Loudest Voice
Unbelievable

Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Christopher Abbott, Catch-22
Sacha Baron Cohen, The Spy
Russell Crowe, The Loudest Voice
Jared Harris, Chernobyl
Sam Rockwell, Fosse/Verdon

Best Performance by an Actress In a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Michelle Williams, Fosse/Verdon
Helen Mirren, Catherine the Great
Merritt Wever, Unbelievable
Kaitlyn Dever, Unbelievable
Joey King, The Act

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Alan Arkin, The Kominsky Method
Kieran Culkin, Succession
Andrew Scott, Fleabag
Stellan Skarsgård, Chernobyl
Henry Winkler, Barry

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Meryl Streep, Big Little Lies
Helena Bonham Carter, The Crown
Emily Watson, Chernobyl
Patricia Arquette, The Act
Toni Collette, Unbelievable