Seattles dumpsters are on fire and so is our dumpster of a country.
Seattle's dumpsters are on fire and so is our dumpster of a country. JBryson/Getty Images

I will get to impeachment business: I swear. But we've got to figure out what's happening in the rest of the world before I let you sink your teeth into the juicy bits. Assuming there are juicy bits at this point. I don't know, I just woke up.

Toddler struck by car expected to survive: When a van slammed through a Ross Dress for Less, it hit a 2-year-old boy. The child didn't have a pulse when first responders arrived. They were ultimately able to revive him, and he is expected to survive. The driver was suspected to be under the influence of drugs, but a toxicology report is still pending. The passenger of his car had been shoplifting from Ross. Eleven people were injured.

Seahawks rookies ball out at Daniel's Broiler: The Rookie Dinner happened in Bellevue. The Seahawks defensive backs enjoyed a lavish night with a bill costing upwards of $17,500. According to TMZ Sport, $11,000 of that was spent on Louis XIII cognac. The receipts were posted to social media by two of the players, Shaquill Griffin and Ugo Amadi.

Another pedestrian death: A driver struck and killed a pedestrian in Kent. It's believed the driver was not impaired and was driving the speed limit.

King County Court issues warrant for neo-Nazi's arrest: Kaleb Cole is the Washington leader of Atomwaffen, a violent extremist group. He was recently pulled over in Texas for speeding, and police discovered a trove of ammunition and assault rifles. Cole and his passenger were dressed in tactical gear. King County senior deputy prosecuting attorney Dan Satterberg has issued a warrant for Cole's arrest, KING 5 reports, and set bail at $20,000 for "Unlawful Possession of Firearm by Person Prohibited by Extreme Risk Protection Order."

Some Seattle dumpster fires: The dumpster arsonist is back! Or at least someone is lighting Seattle dumpsters on fire. Eight dumpsters were set ablaze between Tuesday at 9 p.m. and Wednesday at 1 a.m. in at least three Seattle neighborhoods.

Speaking of dumpster fires: Okay, currently, like right now, the House is voting on a Republican measure that would shut down the House, in an effort to block the consideration of the articles of impeachment. This is presumably a last-ditch effort to stall today's events from unfolding, since last I heard, the Democrats in the House had the votes and impeachment was pretty much a go. The New York Times called the move "a strategy of registering their protest against impeachment."

And just so you know, we're in for a long haul: The procedural rules for this shindig (impeaching the president of the United States is the shindig here) that were debated Tuesday require that there be six hours of debate before a vote. The votes that we all care about will probably come at 7:30 p.m. EST.

The baby is screaming: Say a PRAYER.

California man stole a caricature artist's money: He left the caricature portrait the artist had done of him behind. The Riverside police would like to know if you have seen this man:

All of Peru's McDonald's have shut down: In order to mourn the deaths of two teenage employees. They reportedly died on the night shift at a Lima branch of the restaurant when they were electrocuted by a drinks machine.

Ohio methane leak was way worse than first thought: Last year, a blowout at a plant in rural Ohio forced residents nearby to evacuate. It spewed 60 kilotons of methane into the atmosphere in just 20 days. That's more than some European countries release in a year. But it's only the second biggest methane leak in the United States.

I love this headline: Notarized letter allegedly by man found in Utah freezer says wife didn't kill him.

We're getting weather! It's gonna get wet.

This is grim: A new report shows that United Nations peacekeepers on the Stabilisation Mission in Haiti, the longest-running peacekeeping mission, fathered hundreds of children. According to researchers, there was a strong trend of transactional sex.

The productivity toilet: A toilet is being designed that will save companies "billions in wasted hours." It slopes down so that it's uncomfortable to sit on the toilet for long stretches of time. That movie Sorry to Bother You is becoming real life so quickly:

A lighthearted thing: John Mulaney, America's most palatable comedian, is creating a Netflix special that's basically a kids variety show. It's called John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch, and I am unabashedly excited for it. A Vulture writer had her 10-year-old son interview Mulaney about the show, and it is the most darling thing. Please read. If I don't write any more blurbs, it's because I'm reading this.

Today's EverOut picks are: The queertastic holiday performance Jingle All the Gay!, George Balanchine's The Nutcracker, and a show with the massively popular K-pop group A.C.E. See more on our EverOut Things To Do calendar.