You, uh, cant impeach her, Trump.
You, uh, can't impeach her, Trump. ZACH GIBSON / GETTY IMAGES

The president is impeached forever: "No matter what the Senate does. He's impeached forever because he violated our Constitution," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told the AP in an interview published today. “If I did nothing else, he saw the power of the gavel there,” Pelosi continued. “And it wasn’t me, it was all of our members making their own decision.” Meanwhile:

Pelosi also invited Trump to deliver the State of the Union address in February: It will, theoretically, happen right after Trump is acquitted in the Senate trial. Pelosi will sit behind him. Maybe we'll get some memes. That's all I can ask for in 2020.

How are you doing wading through the atmospheric river? I've been staring out my office window screaming. This shit is heavy.

"River of rain breaks daily precipitation records": Yesterday's rain was unprecedented, and we broke today's record around 9 a.m., writes the Seattle Times. Confused by this "atmospheric river" name? It's because it used to be called a Pineapple Express. So, we're in a Pineapple Express. Maybe the movie ruined that name.

More rain porn: May we all one day get as wet as this river.

The rain porn has escalated to flood porn: SO WET!

Donald Trump prepares for Christmas by... attacking Christianity Today! The magazine published an editorial that called for Trump's removal from office, and today Trump lashed back by calling the publication "far left." FAR LEFT!!!!! The whole Trump v. Christianity Today drama more and more makes me think the 2020 Trump campaign is gonna dump Pence and pick up Nikki Haley as a VP pick.

I hope this story wrecks Christmas: Cissie Graham Lynch, the granddaughter of Christianity Today founder Billy Graham, has written a statement for the Trump campaign in defense of Trump. "He is the only president in recent history that has stood up for the most vulnerable in our society—the unborn," she writes.

Bleakest headline all day: Iowa Woman Ran Down Teen With Car Because She Was ‘Mexican’: Police

Let's bring some cheer back to the room: Here's Barack holding a baby in Hawaii.

Jennifer Hudson said RESPECT Cats! Okay, no, I'm conflating her two projects. You can see her float off to the Heaviside Layer in Cats as Grizabella, but you can also see her play the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, in the upcoming Franklin biopic Respect. A trailer dropped today. Franklin apparently hand-picked Hudson for the project.