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I'm a 33-year-old women in a relationship with a 43-year-old man. My boyfriend’s fantasy is a threesome with another man. He enjoys watching me have sex with other men and then intermittently fucking me. But he mostly likes to watch me get fucked. For a long time, my boyfriend would send nudes or videos of him fucking me to men we met on dating apps. We would talk dirty about it during sex. Recently, we met up with a man for the first time. I don’t think it went well.

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My boyfriend and I have had conversations about my fear of contracting an STI. So before the threesome started, I explained to my boyfriend and the other guy that condoms were required. They both agreed. This guy was really nervous and when he put a condom on, he went flaccid. He would try to fuck me with his flaccid, condom-covered penis but it just didn't work. He would take the condom off, jerk off, get semi-hard, put a condom back on, go completely soft again. Even when I sucked the guy’s dick: nothing. (He actually told me to stop trying!) So my boyfriend, who was observing and jerking off, suggested we forget the condoms in hopes this guy could stay hard. I said no and restated my boundary. The guy still couldn’t get it up, hopped out of bed, and started getting dressed. My boyfriend offered to let the guy cream pie me if he would stay. I said fuck no and the guy left. He didn’t even say bye.

I don’t know why the guy couldn’t get hard. But I certainly don’t think my boundary should be compromised because a stranger can’t get it up. My boyfriend keeps suggesting we meet up with this guy again so he can “get closure.” He really wants to watch this guy at least come on me. My boyfriend and this guy have since texted about him fucking me again. I’m all for being GGG, but... what the fuck?

I thought this guy was kind of an asshole. My boyfriend was definitely an asshole. My questions are: If I’m uncomfortable during a threesome, how do I politely call it off? I don’t want to embarrass anyone, but this went on for two hours and the guy never got it up. How do I terminate a threesome without sounding like a bitch?

Threesome Obviously Dried Up My Pussy

To politely call off a threesome, TODUMP, all you gotta say is, "Hey, this isn't working for me—let's take a rain check." Say it while pulling up your pants and use your "final answer" voice.

And the "rain check" thing doesn't have to be sincere. It can be, of course, if you're interested in trying again sometime, but it doesn't have to be. The "rain check" thing is mostly a nice, polite, face-saving, ego-sparing way to ease someone out of your pants/bed/playroom/apartment/whatever. And if anyone starts arguing with you—if your third or your primary partner starts arguing with you—don't worry about being polite, TODUMP. Go ahead and be a bitch: "This is over, you/they need to go, rain check rescinded, asshole/assholes."

And while we're on the subject of terminating things with assholes, TODUMP, you need dump your incredibly shitty fucking boyfriend immediately—and there's no need to be polite to him about it. Fuck him. Your boyfriend tried to coerce you into having sex without condoms when he knew you didn't want to; you consented to having a threesome on the condition that condoms be used. Attempting to reopening negotiations about your stated boundaries once the threesome was underway was a violation of your consent. And your boyfriend knew you wouldn't want to embarrass anyone and maliciously attempted to weaponize your consideration for other people's feelings against you! Can't you see that? He was hoping you wouldn't embarrass him by refusing to have sex without condoms after he "offered" to let this guy cream pie you (come inside you) to get him to stay! He was hoping you'd rather risk an STI than risk embarrassing or contradicting him! And on top of that he spoke to this guy like it was up to him—up to them—what happened next, like you were Fleshlight or tube sock or something!

And now your asshole boyfriend is pressuring you to get back together with a guy who couldn't get it up with a condom on when he knows you don't want to have sex without condoms? A guy who couldn't be bothered to say goodbye after you sucked his fucking dick? And your boyfriend is claiming you owe him (or them) closure?

WTF?

This relationship should have been over the moment boyfriend made it clear some stranger's dick was more important to him than your health, safety, and boundaries. In that moment—that moment he attempted to barter away your boundaries—he proved he can't be trusted and you aren't safe with him, TOPDUMP, alone or with a third.

DTMFA.

Support The Stranger

This is every woman's nightmare scenario when it comes to cuckolding or hotwifing—that her boyfriend or husband will pressure her to do things she doesn't want to do during a sexual encounter with another man. Your boyfriend doesn't deserve a GGG girlfriend or to his fantasies fulfilled. He deserves to be alone forever.


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