No one showed up to my coronavirus infection party? What will I do with all these Dont Tread on Me shirts I got for the goody bags?
"No one showed up to my coronavirus infection party? What will I do with all these 'Don't Tread on Me' shirts I got for the goody bags?" skynesher/Getty

Amazon fulfillment center worker is dead: The Staten Island, New York worker developed symptoms in early April and was quarantined. Workers at that facility have been calling for more safety precautions. Despite the changes, the Verge reports, employees are still falling ill. While official totals aren't available, Amazon workers have tallied that around 130 workers in the local bookseller's facilities have fallen ill. At least three now have died.

Did you know that during shelter-in-place... Amazon is making $10,000 per second?

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Please RSVP "No" to any COVID-19 parties: Yes, I'm talking to you, Walla Walla County residents. These dumb shits are going to and hosting parties with the intention of getting each other sick to "get it over with." No! Don't do that! This isn't the fucking chickenpox.

Meanwhile, Portland: A big, rare blooming cactus agave is attracting a crowd.

Another impact of COVID-19: Longer, illegal jail stays for inmates with mental illness. Read Crosscut's full report here.

Not sure if this is relatable: But whenever I wake up during this pandemic and it's a workday the beginning of this song plays on a loop in my head:

Local Native American health center asked for supplies: To help battle COVID-19. Instead, a distributor through King County Public Health sent them a bunch of body bags. Around the country and in Washington, Native American communities are feeling the brunt of the COVID-19 crisis and need medical supplies and support. Not body bags.

RIP to 16 Nordstrom stores: Man, my grandma is going to be devastated if Nordstrom kicks the bucket. Fortunately for her, only 16 out of 116 full-line stores will be shuttering the wake of COVID-19. The rest is expected to come back after this thing is over. There's no telling when that will be.

Any linguists out there? Yesterday, Rich Smith let you know that Elon Musk and Grimes had finally "spawned." What he didn't have the chance to get at was the fucked up name they gave the baby. How do we pronounce X ร† A-12?

Here's the meaning of the name, according to Grimes:

Reader, it got worse:

EVERYTHING IS FINE: Ruth Bader Ginsberg has been hospitalized with what is supposedly a "benign gallbladder condition." She is expected to participate in oral arguments today.

A petition for Snohomish Sheriff's recall: Snohomish County Sheriff Adam Fortney said he wouldn't enforce Gov. Jay Inslee's stay home order. A resident filed a petition to get him recalled.

New York shut down its subway for the first time: The NYC subway has been around for 115 years. It's never been completely shut down. The pause allowed employees to deep clean. The virus has killed 109 transit workers. For now, the subway will remain closed from 1 a.m. to 5 a.m. to keep up with these cleanings.

One in five Wendy's is out of beef: Due to meat shortages. Huh. I guess their meat really was fresh.

Not sure why: But this fiddle playing is cleansing me.

Airbnb faces lay-offs: The projected revenue for Airbnb this year is expected to be less than half what the company made in 2019. Around 1,900 people, or 25 percent of the company, will be laid off.

There's a haircutting black market in Ireland: Obviously, it extends beyond Ireland. Yes, I'm talking about that hairstylist in Texas who was arrested for defying shutdown orders. Anyway, this particular story is about Ireland and how people are paying an arm and a leg for illegal hair cuts.

A piece I enjoyed reading: Writer Sarah Miller's examination of feel-good movie maven Nancy Meyers' kitchen.

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Trump still wants to paint his border wall black: Trump is really pushing for this design change to cover the steel bollards in his border wall black. The change will cost at least $500 million. Despite literally everyone involved telling him that it is expensive, unnecessary, and will require upkeep, Trump thinks it will look foreboding and cannot be swayed.

Also, if you need to keep track of which states are reopening: Here's a handy guide: