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Jess Stein
"Jesus Is An Assman!"
I gasped when I saw this because of course.
I gasped when I saw this because of course. JK
You hear that kids? IS. Not WAS. Exclamation point!

"Pro'Gress: Just Another Soldier in the Army of Free!"
This one gave me pause.
This one gave me pause. JK
Spotted in CHOP yesterday. I can't stop thinking about it! Progress is not freedom itself, but a means to get free. So who else is in this Army of Free? Violence? Knowing Your Neighbor? Voting? Autonomous Zones? Protests? Reading? Abolishing Police and Prisons? Destroying Capitalism?

"You Are Beautiful"
Needed this!
Needed this! JK
I'm really bad at accepting compliments so to this sticker I will simply say: thank you.

"Go Eat a Bucket of Chicken"

Me to myself while standing outside of Bok A Bok this weekend.
Me to myself while standing outside of Bok a Bok this weekend. JK
Did some light Google sleuthing on this one and I think it's somehow connected to Ezell's, but I can't fully confirm. My DMs are open. I did eat a spicy fried chicken sandwich from Bok a Bok recently and it felt like a holy experience. The crunch! The tenderness of the meat! The grease! I believe eating truly good fried chicken is as close to communing with god as we'll get in this life.

"Masked Fleshlight Pint of Guinness"
Spotted on 14th.
Spotted on 14th. JK
This looks like it used to be part of a bigger sticker that unfortunately got worn away. It's hot an ad with a masked pint of Guinness! Definitely NOT a fleshlight.

"Reparations Now"
And I meant RIGHT now.
And I meant RIGHT now. JK
Imma say with my full chest: Reparations! Now!

As always, if any of these stickers belong to you, please email me at jkeimig@thestranger.com.