Chompy chompy.
Chompy chompy. Courtesy of @aqueerwolf on Twitter.

If you need any further evidence that Furry Twitter is the Best Twitter, feast your eyes on today’s discourse around “socialist teeth.” That’s right, you heard me, socialist teeth.

The facts as we know them are these: For the last few weeks, some furries have been posting profile pics of their fursonas chomping on “thin blue line” flags, as a form of protest against police violence, racism, and the various riots cops have incited over the last month. Meanwhile, a separate cohort of funny animals has been organizing Harvest Moon, a POC-led furry convention scheduled for fall of 2022 in Maryland if we are still alive at that point.

These two worlds collided, as such worlds so often do, in the alt-fur mentions of a weirdo with nothing better to do than complain on Twitter all day; and that individual took it upon themselves to make a particularly bold declaration.

“They all have the ‘Socialist teeth’ showing in their avatars,” wrote the Twitter user in question, describing the organizers of Harvest Moon. (I’m not identifying them because there’s no reason to pile onto this one lone idiot.)

“Socialist teeth?” responded a bewildered follower.

In response, OP provided a screengrab of various furry pfps, along with a definition that will henceforth be regarded as the official definition of the term: “Oversized bared teeth, normally looking down at the viewer.” Then everyone laughed at them, and are continuing to do so at this very moment, with thousands of furs tweeting jubilantly about this whole ridiculous situation.

Obviously there are a lot of points to unpack here, once you’re done fapping to the thought of giant slavering maws, so let’s dig in.

Point Number One: What about giant bared teeth, viewed from below, is socialist??? Is it because socialist countries make it so much easier to obtain quality dental care? That … does not sound so bad.

Point Number B: Does this mean that all werewuffs are socialists? (Yes.)

Point Letter Third: You really missed an opportunity to make a joke about “anteefa” here.

Point And Another Thing: Like so many attempts to dunk on the left, this particular indictment only serves to make leftists look cool. Look, I know all too well that a lot of socialists are big weird nerds who are basically walking wedgies. But accusing them of having massive awesome fangs and being very tall is such a bad-ass description that now EVERYONE wants some socialist teeth of their very own.

And on that topic, if you’d like to join in the festivities, now you can obtain some attractive “Your Wolf Here” lineart, featuring a wolf eating a “thin blue line” flag, and color it in to match your fursona.

If you do not have a fursona, then you are being a bad socialist and you should fix that.

So now you know the story and can share it with your friends. Enjoy! And don't forget to growl at your local bootlicker.