Please just make it end
Please just make it end. PHOTOLUXSTUDIO / Getty images

Trump’s one gay friend Richard Grenell must love withered white asses, because he just can’t seem to stop kissing them. Fresh off his appearance at the Republican National Convention where he claimed Trump is good, actually, for the gays (lol no he’s not), Grenell just took a job at the homophobic American Center for Law and Justice, an organization founded by Pat Robertson and tied to lawyer Jay Sekulow, who believes that gay people belong in jail.

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Grenell’s long been part of Trump’s gross lapdog brigade, so far managing to avoid angering his boss while lavishing praise on Donald for nonexistent accomplishments. “President Trump is the most pro-gay president in American history,” Grenell spurted at the RNC, greasily glossing over Trump’s opposition to the Equality Act, his appointment of dozens of homophobic and unqualified judges, his dismantling of LGBTQ+ job protections, his attempts to let hospitals turn away queer patients, the end of safe school programs, his denial of housing to queer people, his undermining of queer military service, and his attacks on LGBTQ+ communities overseas.

It’s not hard to see why an anti-gay organization like ACLJ hired Granell, since he’s got more talent for homophobia than most heterosexuals.

One of Grenell’s dumbest hits was recently saying that Biden thinks gays are security risks, because of a remark he made in 1973 (when Grenell was 7 years old). In contrast, Mike Pence was defending countries that execute gay people as recently as 2009.

I cannot speculate as to what could possibly be so beguiling about the company of homophobes that would motivate a gay man to turn on other queers. (But it’s been my experience that many questions beginning “why would he...” can usually be answered with “money.”) It just bums me out to see that a person who has been blessed with the gift of homosexuality is willing to compromise all the attendant magical abilities so that he can hang out with a bunch of people who would be glad to see his people eliminated. It’s the same reason I feel sad whenever Samantha tries to pass as a mortal on Bewitched.

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Anyway, I wonder what sort of climate Grenell will encounter at his new workplace. The ACLJ helped draft Zimbabwe’s constitution, which banned marriage equality, they argued before the Supreme Court that “men who by word or deed condone homosexuality cannot, therefore, be good role models,” and they called Harvey Milk Day a “pro-homosexual program.”

What’s more, Jay Sekulow, who seems to run the outfit (information on current leadership is hard to come by) argued that “not only does homosexuality bring physical and spiritual disease and death, but also it is contagious to others exposed to it.”

So, all-staff meetings should be pretty fun. Enjoy your new job, you weird depressing man.