Maybe next time well listen to Mudedes advice and simply not watch the debate.
Maybe next time we'll listen to Mudede's advice and simply not watch the debate. Scott Olson/Getty Images

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Edmonds market shooter turns himself in: Yesterday afternoon, a man shot three people at Boo Han market off Highway 99 in Edmonds. Two women and one man were shot. One of the women was shot in the face. Later that evening, the suspect turned himself in to the Edmonds Police. According to the woman who was shot in the face, he is either her ex or estranged husband. The Seattle Times reports that both women are in stable condition. The condition of the male victim is uncertain.

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Boeing cheats on Everett: The aerospace company announced that it was taking its 787 Dreamliner production to South Carolina. It's the most significant jet assembly line for Boeing's Everett plant. That's going to be a big blow to the Everett workforce.

Canlis is starting a community college? Sort of. It's the latest fundraising idea from the fancy-shmancy Seattle restaurant which pivoted to a drive-thru burger stand, a drive-in movie theater, and more in the fight to stay alive in a post-COVID-19 world. "Canlis Community College" costs $25 to register. There's no addition cost to participate in classes (stuff about food, wine, and local history) but there may be food items to purchase along with a particular class like wine or oysters. Within the classes are clues for the end-of-semester scavenger hunt: Canlis is going to hide a gift card for $5,000 to its restaurant somewhere in Seattle.

I didn't realize that Nordstrom still sells fur and exotic "skin merchandise": The department store said it will stop selling those things. By the end of 2021, though. This makes Nordstrom, somehow, the first U.S. based retailer to ban exotic animal skins.

The debate was a symphony of yells: I... I don't know what I watched. I wish I hadn't watched. It was like looped audio of my parents arguing ahead of their divorce (Mom, please don't text me about this line). It was bleak. One of the most memorable moments—or, at least one of the only ones I could decipher because Biden didn't interrupt Trump (a courtesy Trump did not extend to Biden ever)—was when moderator Chris Wallace asked Trump point blank to condemn white supremacy and militant groups. Trump said: "Proud Boys—stand back and stand by.” Hold on, let me run the numbers. Hm, yes, by my calculations that's no condemnation. That's a fucking call to action.

And that's how the Proud Boys, the far-right hate group based out of Vancouver, Washington, took it: They're celebrating right now.

The Proud Boys are trending now, too: Never a good thing for search results for a hate group to go through the roof after the president gives them a little shout-out on national television.

Alright, what else significant happened? Well, Trump doesn't believe in climate change but he believes in crystal clear air and water and sweeping forest floors. But he didn't say whether he'd give any Western states funds to sweep forest floors to prevent forest fires. Biden supports his own climate plan but not the Green New Deal, which was established in the past. Biden wants to raise the corporate tax rate. Trump bragged about bringing back football. Biden missed an opportunity to remind Trump that one of his rallies during COVID-19 may have killed Herman Cain. There was a whole section on "election security" which just allowed Trump to spew nonsense and fear about voting by mail. Why was that allowed????? Anyway, here are some tweets:

That's enough for now: If we need more nonsense, more stuff to make you start clenching your jaw, then I'll toss it in. The takeaway is that Trump created a mess. It was gross. He was loud, rude, nonsensical, and very tan in a sinister way. Biden stayed even-keeled. Or, as even-keeled as he could be looking into the camera like he was on a mockumentary. He did tell Trump to shut up and called him a clown, something older Democrats (read: my parents) are astounded by.

Speaking of crystal clean air: The smoke is back today. It's not going to be as bad as before. Only a tiny impact on air quality, hopefully.

Irish Supreme Court rules that Subway sandwiches aren't technically sandwiches: The bread is too sugary to be considered bread, the court found. I guess they're little hand pies.

First person cured of HIV dies: Of cancer.

France bans wild animals in circuses and marine parks: In the coming years, France won't allow lions, tigers, bears, elephants, and more (oh, my!) to be in traveling circuses. Starting immediately, however, the three French marine parks won't be allowed to bring in any new dolphins or whales. They won't be allowed to breed them either.

United Kingdom zoo reprimands some parrots: Lincolnshire Wildlife Park had to remove a group of five parrots from public display. The problem? The birds were quarantined together and they taught each other to swear. Now, the parrots are swearing in front of families and laughing about it. Something had to be done. I bet listening to five zoo parrots swear simultaneously is still more worthwhile than watching last night's debate.

Stress relief:

Love Slog AM/PM?

Wow, congrats, baseball: For the first time since 2016, no MLB players used gay slurs on the field ahead of the playoffs. Wow! I can't believe this is a metric we're keeping track of. This article suspects it may have had something to do with the shorter, 60-game season. But there were "no players involved in any recorded, on-field anti-gay controversies." A broadcaster did use a gay slur, though, so is this year really a success?

Joe Biden loves trains: I'm trying to forget last night. Biden was fine. I wouldn't say he was compelling, but at least he wasn't the antichrist. I can't say the same thing for his debate partner. But yeah. He was fine. At least he likes trains.

A crossword for your Wednesday: Sweet, sweet puzzle relief.

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