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He has to say Mother, may I? and blow his wife Karen a kiss before each answer in the debate tonight.
He has to say "Mother, may I?" and blow his wife Karen a kiss before each answer in the debate tonight. Michael Ciaglo/Getty Images

Trump backtracks on COVID-19 aid: Yesterday, after Trump said he wouldn't provide any more federal aid until after the election, the stock market took a tumble. In a series of tweets last night, Trump backtracked on his aid refusal, calling on the House and the Senate to "IMMEDIATELY Approve" loans to small businesses, airline industry support, and more stimulus checks. He then told Nancy Pelosi he'd sign a stand-alone bill for another round of stimulus checks.

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Megachurch pastor contracts COVID-19: John Hagee, a well-known Texas megachurch pastor and a "conservative activist," which is an oxymoron, came down with COVID-19 over the weekend. Hagee is 80 years old. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu wished Hagee a speedy recovery.

Bonney Lake respiratory therapist stole and resold COVID-19 supplies: This guy was working as a respiratory therapist at Seattle's Veterans Affairs Medical Center. He allegedly stole a ventilator and other COVID-19 supplies from the VA and resold them on eBay. The estimated value of the stolen items was $132,000. The man pleaded guilty in court this week.

Pence and Harris face off tonight: Tune in tonight at 6 p.m. PDT to watch Mike Pence talk to a woman. Vice President Mike Pence is squaring off against Sen. Kamala Harris in what should be a lively debate. Hopefully it will be lively in a productive way and not lively in a last-week's-presidential-debate way. Pence and Harris will have plexiglass shields between them. Though, I'm not sure how much good these shields will do. I mean, it's not like the virus is going to be stopped by one section of the air being cordoned off. Get a load of this shield placement:

I want everyone to debate from inside their own hermetically sealed chambers. Actually, everyone should just wear those bubble suits people play soccer in sometimes. (Wow, I just googled that. It's literally called "Bubble Soccer," and it's a cross between soccer and zorbing, obviously. Zorbing is "a sport where an individual rolls down the side of a hill or sometimes a level surface in a giant plastic orb." Where is the zorbing representation in the Olympics, huh? Okay, sorry, went off on a tear there, getting back to it...)

Tonight is also the Washington gubernatorial debate: Gov. Jay Inslee and Loren Culp go head-to-head tonight. They won't be in the same room. It'll happen at 8 p.m. after the vice presidential debate. It'll last an hour. KING 5’s Chris Daniels will moderate.

Ken Bone thirsts for the spotlight: Notorious undecided 2016 voter Ken Bone is calling himself an "uncommitted" voter in this year's election. Bone became an internet sensation for his red sweater at a presidential debate in 2016 (and later reviled for Reddit comments about Jennifer Lawrence's nudes, pregnant women in swimsuits, who he called "beautiful human submarines," and worse). Now apparently we need to ask Bone to weigh in on this election. Shockingly, he has nothing meaninful to say.

Lynnwood fire kills one: A man died in a mobile home fire in Lynnwood last night. Two other residents of the mobile home escaped without dying.

Seattle Storm wins fourth WNBA championship: The Las Vegas Aces didn't stand a chance against the Seattle Storm. They swept the Aces. Guess what the score of the final game was. The Storm won 92-59. Ooof. That's not just a win. That's a slaughter. The team was led by Sue Bird (who turns 40 next week!) and Breanna Stewart, who scored 26 points last night.

Oh? Men played basketball last night too: The Los Angeles Lakers are one win away from clinching their 17th NBA championship.

Gun-waving couple indicted: Remember the St. Louis couple who stood outside their tacky mansion brandishing guns when a protest against racial injustice marched down their street? They're Mark McCloskey, 63, and Patricia McCloskey, 61 and a judge just charged them with unlawful use of a weapon. However, the McCloskeys are now conservative martyrs (they spoke at the Republican national convention) and Missouri Gov. Mike Parson indicated he'll pardon them if they're charged.

Police brutality against... porcupines? Two Maine police officers are accused of beating porcupines to death with their batons. A third officer filmed the beatings and circulated it on Snapchat. The Rockland Police Chief fired the two alleged porcupine-murderers. Alright, just running the numbers in my head here. So animal cruelty gets a cop fired and killing unarmed black people, historically, gets you a little paid vacation usually? Cool, cool, cool.

Well this seems like a nightmare: Slack, the workplace messaging app many of us are tethered to, is rolling out new features like "Slack stories," a workplace mimic of Instagram stories where workers can post status updates and check-ins during the age of remote work. Um, excuse me, the little green "I'm online" dot next to my name on Slack is already torture enough. I cannot let the green dot extinguish. Must be online always. I will not be letting Slack stories into my life. Save your surveillance state, Slack, I'm good.

A Nobel Prize for CRISPR: Emmanuelle Charpentier and Jennifer A. Doudna received the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for their work creating the gene-editing tool CRISPR/Cas9. The genetic scissors can alter DNA and "rewrite the code of life."

You just can't make this shit up:

Oklahoma County Jail detention officers face cruelty charge: They allegedly forced prisoners to listen to the children's song, "Baby Shark," on loop.

Last night's Seattle City Council open public comment hearing was long: It last around 4.5 hours and close to 140 commenters spoke. The majority of comments were in favor of defunding the Seattle Police Department. That was the big ticket issue. Another recurring item was Mayor Jenny Durkan's usage of JumpStart Seattle funds to pay for an influx of $100 million to BIPOC communities. Speakers want that money to come from SPD's budget.

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Trump lost an appeal to shield his taxes: A federal judge panel in New York rejected Trump's appeal to a ruling that the Manhattan district attorney can enforce a subpoena for Trump's personal and corporate tax returns. Trump will likely appeal the decision again in the United States Supreme Court.

Someone lost their Kangaroo in Monroe, Washington: The Monroe Police Department found it this morning.

A crossword for your Wednesday: Here you go.

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