I spy with my little eye...a black fly on a corpse!
I spy with my little eye...a black fly on a corpse! Alex Wong/Getty
Utah man arrested for eating the hearts of a dog and a cat: Officers found the dismembered dog and cat in the 33-year old man's bathtub as well as a bloody bat. The individual is now facing two felony counts of animal torture. Good morning!

Seattle Human Rights Commission says that Mayor Jenny Durkan has got to go: The group is calling on Durkan to resign or to be removed from office after "failing to uphold her duty to serve and protect the rights of Seattle citizens." In a letter, the SHRC specifically points to her actions around police brutality, homelessness, income inequality, and city governance as reasons behind their call for her removal. Definitely not a great look for Durkan!

34 people connected to the White House have contracted COVID-19: The Rose Garden superspreader event isn't just affecting government officials but also the staff who work at the White House. An internal memo obtained by ABC News revealed that the virus had spread to more people than previously known.

Hurricane Delta is set to make landfall on Louisiana coast tomorrow: According to NPR, the storm currently has 100 mph winds but is "expected to strengthen into a major hurricane—and then possibly weaken again—before hitting land." Much of the region is still recovering from Hurricane Laura from last August. Hurricane Delta has already smashed through parts of Mexico's Yucatán Peninsula, forcing 39,000 people to evacuate yesterday.

The King County Police Officers Guild really doesn't want Charter Amendments 5 and 6 to pass: So much so that the union dropped $150k against the campaign, according to David Kroman at Crosscut. The amendments would make the King County Sheriff an appointed position and give more control over structuring the duties of the Sheriff department to the King County Council. Read more about this vote next week in our SECB endorsements.


Fine, let's talk about the vice presidential debate: The Trump-Biden debate last Tuesday felt like eons ago, but here we are, listening to two politicians bloviating for 90 minutes again. This particular debate, however, feels important. Trump is on the edge of death and Biden is, well, very old—both could die in office. So, in many ways, last night was a chance for Sen. Kamala Harris and Chuck E. Cheese animatronic-cum-Vice President Mike Pence to give voters a taste of what their presidencies could look like. I did not leave feeling reassured AT all.

It was certainly not as chaotic as the Trump-Biden debate: Pence and Harris more-or-less refrained from speaking over each other, opting instead for more passive-aggressive shots. Harris scolded Pence multiple times with "Mr. Vice President, I'm speaking. I'm speaking," which gave me war flashbacks to, like, every time a white man has tried to speak over me.

Both Pence and Harris shirked a lot of moderator Susan Page of USA Today's questions. Pointedly, both ignored the pressing question about what they would do if either Trump or Biden became incapacitated due to age or illness. Pence dodged a question about how his administration would protect preexisting conditions if the Affordable Care Act was struck down. Harris evaded an answer on adding justices to the Supreme Court if Amy Coney Barrett was nominated to replace Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Pence instead focused on how ~radical left~ a Biden-Harris presidency would be: While Harris accused both Trump and Pence of being completely incompetent with their coronavirus response and unworthy of their jobs as president and vice president. You can read more details about the debate here. A CNN poll shows that Harris won that debate, though the bar for arguing with a sentient haunted portrait is admittedly very low.

By far, the most thrilling part of the debate was when a fly chilled on Pence's head for two minutes: And, of course, the internet went to pieces about it. Cue jokes about him being a corpse, a piece of shit, a rotting scrap of meat, etc. The joke got old quick when the fly became some sort of #ResistanceWarrior. It's just a fly! The man its perched on is a literal demon!

Right after that mess was the Washington gubernatorial debate between Gov. Jay Inslee and Liberty Police Chief Loren Culp: Man, if you truly want to understand the sorry state of WA's Grand Old Party look no further than the cretin they are running for governor. During the debate, Culp consistently called for less government involvement, criticizing Inslee for mandating business closures and mask-wearing as part of his coronavirus response. Inslee said his Safe Start plan saved hundreds of lives and slowed the virus's spread in the state, and he called Culp a "mini-Trump," which made me think of an Oompa-Lumpa version of the President.

Climate change was also a major topic of debate: Culp gave the incredible quote, "I don't deny that the climate changes," while then denying that it played a role in the historic wildfires that swept the West Coast just a few weeks ago. Inslee, who has fashioned himself as a leader in the fight against climate change, called it a "health issue" and pointed out that Culp has proposed nothing to combat it. Read more of Seattle Times' David Gutman's analysis on the debate here.

But the most ludicrous moment of the night: Came when Crosscut's Melissa Santos asked Culp why he—a police chief of an 1,100-person town—is qualified to lead the entire state of Washington. Here's what Culp had to say:

"I'm not running to be the leader of everyone's family. I'm not running to be the leader of your business. I'm not running to be the leader of you. You, the citizens, will be the leaders of yourself, your family, and your business. I will be the governor that understands the servant role of the governor. And I will run the executive branch of the state government and you will run your business and your life. That's the way it should be, that's the way a public servant should act."
Well then your ass doesn't need my vote!

The second presidential debate is going virtual: The Commission on Presidential Debates made the decision "in order to protect the health and safety of all" as a highly contagious virus is currently raging inside the president's 'roided up orange bod. The Oct. 15 debate will take the form of a town hall with Biden and Trump participating remotely. Moderator Steve Scully of C-SPAN and the town hall participants will convene in Miami, FL as planned. No word on a mute button just yet.

Did you really think Trump would go virtual without a fight?! "I am not going to do a virtual debate," Donald said on Fox Business this morning. "I am not going to waste my time on a virtual debate." He complained that it would mean sitting behind a computer with a moderator able to "cut you off whenever they want." But Trump not participating means that he wouldn't get a major platform at a time when he's trailing in the polls 26 days ahead of the election.

That said: There's a high chance he'll renege on this position and end up participating next week. It's always a waiting game with that one.

In the same bonkers Fox Business interview: Trump revealed that he's still taking dexamethasone, a powerful steroid that can make you feel a lot better than you actually are. As many reporters have noted, Maria Bartiromo did not push Trump on when he last tested negative for the virus, leaving us in the dark about how he's recovering. Trump also called Harris "a monster" and a "communist" when discussing the vice presidential debate yesterday. You know, just normal presidential stuff!

Maybe things aren't so bad? American poet Louise Glück won the 2020 Nobel Prize in Literature for "her unmistakable poetic voice that with austere beauty makes individual existence universal." Read more about her win (and life) here.

The only thing keeping me going is Scarecrow Video's Psychotronic Challenge: Last night I watched It Follows for the seventh day of the challenge, and "THEY'RE OUT TO GET YOU: One with heavy paranoia (real or imagined)." Today's theme is "EQUAL SLICE: One where women get top billing," and I was thinking of watching The Descent, which I've somehow never seen. Any suggestions would be welcome in the comments!

OK, I hate ~feel-good~ stories but this is cute: The Idaho skateboarder Nathan Apodaca, aka 420doggface208, who went viral on for this cute-ass video of him cruising, gulping cranberry juice, and vibing out to "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac got a truck courtesy of Ocean Spray. They also gave him a truck-load of cranberry juice. Apparently the video was created as Apodaca was long-boarding to work after his car battery died. He deserves the world.

Missing North Korean diplomat spotted in Seoul: Jo Song Gil was North Korea's ambassador to Rome when he and his wife disappeared in November 2018 before their scheduled trip back to Pyongyang. On Wednesday, the South Korean parliament revealed that Jo has been secretly living in Seoul since last July. This revelation of his desertion could mean bad things for North-South relations, which have been in a downward spiral for months, reports Japan Times.

To perform on SNL, you've got to follow their COVID protocols: Country singer Morgan Wallen apparently did not get this message. He has now has been booted from the October 10 show after getting caught partying and kissing multiple people ahead of his SNL debut. The singer took to Instagram to apologize and said he'll be taking some time away from the public to "work on myself."

Something to groove to this morning: Arca's "Brokeup" is hot.