Tensions are high, but we dont have to tell you that.
Tensions are high, but we don't have to tell you that. Photo by Samuel Corum/Getty Images

What's in store for us? Each week we poll our guts and divine the future. This week: predictions on Amy Coney Barrett, the Seahawks, and the future of TV dinners. Remember when the president almost died? Ah, those were the days.

There will never be a presidential debate ever again. It’s clear that Trump hates debates—or any format where he’s expected to allow someone else to talk—and he would love nothing more than to replace the debates with more rallies. Now that the next debate is postponed, he’s got a little taste of how he can avoid doing any more. From now until election day, it’s going to be one excuse after another for why debating is beneath him, a waste of time, or otherwise just stupid, like a kid trying to get out of taking a test. And then in four years, provided America/humanity exists at that point, whatever poor saps are running for president in 2024 are going to be like, “Hey, Donald didn’t have to debate, why do we?” Because of course they would rather just babble than have to answer questions, even the softballs that moderators throw them. Debates will become one of those old-fashioned relics of a bygone time, like candidates releasing their taxes, or being able to complete a sentence. M.B.

Meet Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett. Look, I hate this as much as you do. Of course, I would never want to see the devout Christian—described as a "female Scalia"—given the lifetime appointment of Supreme Court Justice at the healthy age of 48. That means Barrett has, on average, 30 more years to help overturn Roe v. Wade, gut the Affordable Care Act, and rule against other progressive causes like voter protections, marriage equality, gun control, and fighting climate change. Fucking yikes. Barring divine intervention on the Senate Democrats' part, Republicans plan to ram her through to the Court no matter what. I mean, a group of Republicans literally came down with a fucking plague at Trump's Rose Garden ceremony where he announced Barrett as his pick. And you know what the little Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman said when other senators brought up their COVID-concerns? Fuck off (basically). Dems are no match for the Republican death cult. And in a few weeks, we'll see Barrett standing where Ruth Bader Ginsburg used to be, gavel in hand. J.K.

Amy Coney Barrett will NOT get confirmed. None of us can sincerely predict that. T.S.

None of us will act right when we finally reunite with our friend circles. I know a lot has changed during lockdown. It's been fucking seven months. Any young person or pregnant person will tell you that a human can evolve substantially during that time frame, and that's without compounding national traumas—But what, exactly, has changed about us? How can we know for sure when we only see one or four or no people? Do we remember how to socialize? Will we be raving, nervous, and mad by the time we finally descend on our friend groups again? Will it look a lot like the SNL sketch from last weekend, "New Normal"? C.B.

Prime Day's gonna be bigger than ever. Today and tomorrow is Amazon's big two-day sale event, Prime Day. People are urging others not to participate in the tech giant's consumerist blitz. One of the reasons for boycotting is that a surge in Prime Day orders will hamper an already-weak U.S. Postal Service right when everyone is turning in their mail-in ballots. The other reason is that Amazon, one of the leading companies that has profited from this pandemic, still has concerning working conditions. Workers keep contracting COVID-19, despite new workplace precautions, and German warehouse workers are on strike because they say Amazon stopped COVID-19 bonus pay way back in May. Still, despite the outcry, this Prime Day, paired with everyone's new virus-fueled online shopping dependence, will be bigger than ever before. N.G.

Forget the trendy space helmets. The new social distancing workaround is a literal personal space bubble. Maybe Amazon will buy these for all the workers in their packed warehouses to avoid more COVID-19 outbreaks. N.G.

Expect a sharp increase in GOP-related attacks on the US's voting system. It's as old as the hills. The GOP always accuses the Dems of doing exactly what they are doing—packing courts is one of too many examples. Another is voting fraud or manipulation. The GOP points an accusatory finger at the Dems, saying: They are up to no good. But it is the GOP that's planting fake ballot boxes around California. This Slate headline says it all: "After Complaining About Voter Fraud, the California GOP Commits Election Fraud." Expect more "accidents" like the one that happened today in Virginia. C.M.

Republicans will solidify their anti-democracy stance. Ugh, voting—it’s the worst, am I right? After Donald loses this election by a wide margin, Republicans will say voting is the real problem. Giving every single idiot in America an opportunity to decide the course of the country is bananas, they’ll say, and something that should be left to people who actually have a stake in things. You know, rich people. I wish this seemed less likely, but after Diseased Senator Mike Lee (R - Pestilence) tweeted “democracy isn’t the objective” of American politics. With all the voter suppression Republicans already do, focusing their crosshairs on elections, in general, is the next logical step. M.B.

Seattle Chefs Eric Rivera and Edouardo Jordan are our pandemic-era North Stars. Eric Rivera manages to thrive during this pandemic. Hop on over to his website, and you'll find his innovative Ballard "incubator" Addo selling pantry staples, hot sauces, produce, and meals ready to cook. Forget socially distant indoor dining and splashy take-out; many people are looking for innovative ways to eat at home. As Addo's said: "Let us be your prep cook so you can focus on other things." That's the approach that's working right now. Edouardo Jordan's also been in that game, and his new collaboration with Performance Kitchen is, frankly, incredible. I bought all eight of his frozen meal offerings, and they were some of the most exciting meals I've had this year. They came from my freezer! C.B.

Gen Z voter participation will be lit: This is the generation that organized for gun control in the wake of the Parkland, Florida shooting, and marched for climate protection globally. They're also all extremely good at sharing information online. On Tik Tok, the Zoomer video app, over 200 popular creators joined together to create a new account: "Tik Tok for Biden." The group's first video received more than 500,000 views in a day. The goals? Get people registered to vote and then get people voting. On top of that effort, there's a "Gen Z for Biden" hashtag. As these kids come of voting age, they're going to rock the fuck out of the vote. N.G.

@tiktokforbiden TAG WHO YOU SEE! A LOT MORE TO COME!! ##tiktokforbiden
♬ Viva La Swing ps. tugboat_spenny is OG spinner - Mingaling 2.0

Seahawks will win the pandemic-era Super Bowl. C.M.

Seattleites will realize how good we have it come winter. Despite our increasingly smoky late summer season, the Pacific Northwest is pretty mild, weather-wise, all year round. Sure, it'll maybe snow in February or—gasp—hit above the 85-degree mark in August, but we mostly live our lives wrapped in a perpetual and pleasant bright gray. That doesn't stop people from complaining about our "dreary" winters of cold rain and 40-degree days. But during the age of social distance, Seattleites will take advantage of our not-that-cold winter months. Sure, we'll need maybe a sweater AND a jacket, but going on a (masked-up) walk with a friend is much easier to do here in January than, say, Boston where the air freezes inside your lungs. And, if seated near a heat lamp, eating outside (if that's your bag) is much more doable in 45-degree weather than 22-degree weather. Plus, plants and flowers bloom in every season here, adding color to winter months. We have it good here no matter the season—it's about time we embrace it. J.K.


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