On Thursday night, many of us will be glued to our screens, watching two septuagenarian men argue about why they should lead the world's former superpower, the United States of America. We will watch this 90-minute debate, which streams from around 6 to 7:30 pm Seattle-time, despite very smart warnings to avoid it. And afterward, we will probably feel like we did last time: nauseated, nervous, depressed...

Instead of doomscrolling after that national trauma ends, I have a better proposition: Join me in watching Seattle's favorite game show, The Future Is 0, with the added bonus of knowing you're supporting On the Boards, Seattle's favorite world-renowned home for the contemporary performing arts. If you haven't heard, the arts are in trouble! This is one way to support them!

In Case You Somehow Missed It: The Future Is 0 is a fun, satirical game show that features local artists from different disciplines. The game show's been around for about six years. It has performed at the Northwest Film Forum, the Neptune Theatre, a backyard, a living room, and now in YOUR living room, with a new online version of the show. It starts right at 7:30 pm, so you can kickstart your self-care by hopping into this show before you can even begin to debrief on Trump. You have to watch this show LIVE, and you have to get your tickets HERE.

Some special people snagged a special performance-enhancing VIP box for Thursday's show—and while it's too late to grab that box now, I'm going to do a little VIP unboxing to give Sloggers a good example of the sort of shenanigans you can expect at the show. The box is full of performance-enhancing props, my favorite kind of prop.

If you've already got one of these boxes coming your way, don't spoil your unboxing by scrolling below. But, if you're curious......

A very sexy box.
A very sexy box.

!!! Im not going to dig through everything in here, but lets pull out some goodies...
!!! I'm not going to dig through everything in here (like the limited edition poster from Cold Cube Press!!), but let's pull out some goodies...

I love a themed program.
I love a themed program.

Yes! Thats former Stranger writer Angela Garbes participating tomorrow night, along with other Stranger favorites.
If you zoom in, you'll see that former Stranger writer Angela Garbes is participating tomorrow night, along with other Stranger favorites.

Fucking adorable. In general, Id recommend grabbing some balloons and drawing faces on them for company. The pandemic has gone on long enough. No one will think youre weird.
Fucking adorable. In general, I'd recommend grabbing some balloons and drawing faces on them for company. The pandemic has gone on long enough. No one will think you're weird.

Look, it says not to open, so I wont.
Look, it says not to open until prompted, so I won't.
This disk has prerecorded theater sounds. Im honestly might play this while I work from home. Again, for company.
This disk has prerecorded theater sounds. I might play this while I work from home. Again, for company.

I love a prop with a sense of suspense.
I love a prop with a sense of suspense.
Is it piss? Is it confetti? I recommend making your own pre-show confetti with piss paper, if you arent watching without pre-made piss paper.
Is it piss? Is it confetti? I recommend making your own pre-show confetti with piss paper if you're watching without pre-made piss paper.
So kind. Some pre-wrapped cold ones.
I love a good brand.

So, grab a ticket, blow up some balloons to keep you company, and let's feel each other (spiritually, not literally) at tomorrow night's show, yes? Yes.