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Derp.
Derp. Photo by Anna Moneymaker-Pool/Getty Images

This afternoon, Attorney General Bill Barr told the Associated Press that "to date, we have not seen fraud on a scale that could have effected a different outcome in the election:" He directly contradicting Trump's persistent, baseless, insufferable, conspiratorial claims that the 2020 presidential election was rigged and stolen. Sen. Chuck Schumer remarked: “I guess he's the next one to be fired.”

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Barr then went into a pre-planned (but very long) meeting at the White House: I'm sure that meeting was chill, especially since Trump's Twitter account was going wild with election fraud conspiracies during it.

Georgia election officials are furious at the President and GOP leadership, as they should be: "Someone's going to get killed," said Gabriel Sterling, Georgia's voting system implementation manager, at a press conference this afternoon, referring to the recent violent threats against the Georgia Secretary of State's Office. He said a 20-year-old tech employee was the latest to receive death threats from Trump's supporters and called on Trump, Republicans, and specifically Georgia Senators David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler to "step up," saying: "Senators, you have not condemned this language or these actions. This has to stop... And if you're going to take a position of leadership, show some." Watch the speech:

Hungarian right-wing Member of the European Parliament (MEP) resigns after allegedly fleeing a gay sex orgy in Brussels: Police stopped Jozsef Szajer as they investigated reports of a house violating lockdown rules. "Inside the flat, police found about 20 people, two of whom—not including Mr. Szajer—invoked diplomatic immunity," reports the BBC. Can you imagine having your dick out and then seriously trying to invoke diplomatic immunity? Anyway, authorities say Szajer got caught with drugs as he tried to flee the gathering. The MEP has since apologized for "a personal failing" and tried to plead parliamentary immunity, which failed. He is now under investigation for non-compliance with coronavirus measures and violation of drug laws.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) to announce a recommendation for a shortened COVID-19 quarantine: The new guidelines will recommend people who get exposed to the virus to quarantine for 10 days, or 7 days if they test negative. The policy change is set to be released as soon as this evening, reports AP.

In other CDC news: An independent panel advising the government agency voted to recommend that at-risk healthcare workers and long-term care residents be the first Americans to receive a COVID-19 vaccine. CDC director Dr. Robert R. Redfield is expected to make a final decision on whether to accept the recommendation by Wednesday, says the New York Times.

Crepes and books: Two things there are now more of in Capitol Hill.

Elliot Page in Toronto in 2019.
Elliot Page in Toronto in 2019. Photo by Rich Polk/Getty Images for IMDb

Elliot Page came out as trans: The 33-year-old Juno and Umbrella Academy star came out this morning with a touching letter. Page will continue to star as Vanya Hargreeves, the cis female role in Netflix's Umbrella Academy, and Netflix says they are in the process of updating Page's name in titles across its site.

Here's your semi-regular reminder that takeout is your safest dining option. What about a warm outdoor dining bubble, like the ones at San Fermo in Ballard? Here's Seattle Times's Bethany Jean Clement and two specialists on the safety of outdoor dining:

Outdoor structures should be open on at least two sides: If you’re dining outdoors all warm and cozy in Seattle right now, that’s no good. Public Health’s [Gabriel] Spitzer explains, “We know the virus can build up in the air of poorly ventilated spaces … an enclosed space that happens to be outdoors should also be open enough to allow free airflow.” Three-sided structures are allowed, he says, “only if they include an opening large enough to ensure cross ventilation.” [Marissa] Baker, [an assistant professor at the University of Washington and a leading expert on COVID-19,] however, is not comfortable with this latter COVID-19 judgment call. “More than two sides,” she says, “you’re putting up a barrier to airflow, so that is concerning from an exposure perspective.”

We've got a big tech merger: Salesforce plans to buy Slack for nearly $28 billion. Slack's co-founder and CEO Stewart Butterfield will continue leading the company. The deal still needs regulatory approval and a thumbs-up from Slack's shareholders, but the merger "creates a cloud giant that can better compete with Microsoft," notes Axios.

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Just kiss your nonessential Canadian dreams goodbye: Canada's Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said today that the ban on nonessential travel between our two countries will remain in effect until the world has better control over the pandemic. Whenever that is. "We are incredibly lucky that trade in essential goods, in agriculture products, in pharmaceuticals is flowing back and forth as it always had," he said. "It's just people not traveling, which I think is the important thing." Of note: Canada just unveiled its "largest economic relief package... since the Second World War," as Rich noted in today's AM.

Monolith update: The Romanian monolith has now disappeared, too. This has to be a gimmick. Matt Baume has some theories at the bottom of this week's prediction post.

Speaking of predictions we made this afternoon, this was one of them: Trump Has Discussed With Advisers Pardons for His 3 Eldest Children and Giuliani. We're so tired of WINNING!