R.I.P. to this nonagenarian hottie.
R.I.P. to this nonagenarian hottie. Frederick M. Brown/Getty
A sixth Seattle Police Department officer self-reports being in D.C. on Jan. 6 when the mob stormed the Capitol building: Guess they needed enough officers for a little post-insurrection 3-on-3. The Office of Police Accountability is investigating this sixth SPD officer. Only two cops, however, have been placed on administrative leave. Because the other four self-reported and "have not yet been found to have violated any policy or law," they remain on duty. Let us remind you that SPD officers make up the biggest known contingent of cops at the Jan. 6 Capitol storming.

The Democrats, with a special guest appearance by tie-breaker Veep Kamala Harris, passed a budget resolution very early this morning that paves the way for a vote on Biden's $1.9 trillion COVID aid package. The budget resolution was then sent back to the House, was passed again (over the whines and objections of Republicans), and Dems will now finish drafting the aid package with an eye on quickly sealing the deal by the end of the month. AHHHHH, don't you love it when the obstructionists get obstructed?

After getting booted off all committees, QAnon crackpot and enemy of all "Satanic pedophile lizard people" Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene gave a (surprise!) loony press conference: At it, she blamed everyone else for her self-inflicted woes and promised she would continue being a demented Republican lunatic. (Ummmm... how is this different from her fellow demented Republican lunatics?)

Next week is about to be really cold:

Microsoft is withholding funds from politicians who wanted to overturn election results: The Redmond-based tech company's PAC will suspend 2022 election cycle contributions for "all members of Congress" (read: Republicans), state officials, and organizations who love Trump more than democracy.

Too bad, so sad: Blithering right-wing buffoon Lou Dobbs has been canceled by FOX News. (We really don't understand why people badmouth "cancel culture"... it's been working great for us!)

Wheeeee! Good COVID news! Johnson & Johnson has filed for emergency approval for their one-dose'll-do-it COVID vaccine, which could bring us 100 million more doses by June.

More good news: Busy Bee Biden has been busy today ramping up vaccine distribution for the states, enacting the Defense Production Act to produce rapid tests and surgical gloves, sending 1,100 troops to assist at vaccination sites, and helping make sure that vaccine producers (like Pfizer and Moderna) have the equipment they need to keep pumping out doses. (For the sake of comparison, a month ago President Trump was helping stop the national pandemic by encouraging a bunch of toothless yahoos to invade the Capitol. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Different strokes!)

Hey... need a pillow? Well even if you don't, consider buying one from Parkland school shooting survivor/activist David Hogg who is starting his own pillow company to run that shithead, election-lie-spewing "MyPillow" guy, Mike Lindell, out of business!

For all of those out there with a boring podcast (or fear that their podcast is boring, which it probably is), former Veep Mike Pence is riding to the rescue by launching the most fucking BORING podcast on the planet. ("You're welcome," he says.)

We should not be using Native American mascots for ANYTHING: Rep. Debra Lekanoff (Tlingit), an Alaska Native who is Tlingit and Aleut and the only indigenous person in the Washington State Legislature, introduced a bill that would ban Native American mascots in schools. It would also ban the "inappropriate use of Native American names, symbols, or images as public school mascots, logos or team names."

Washington State Parks has set up three new temporary Sno-Parks along I-90: To accommodate for the surge of visitors looking for a non-motorized romp in the snow. Each of these new Sno-Parks also include access to "new or existing trails for snowshoeing and Nordic ski touring." Brrrrrrrr!

In a hilarious turn of events, according to a recent poll, President Biden is more popular in Texas than Republican Texas Gov. Greg Abbott! Saaaad trommmboooone (with a Texas twang).

R.I.P. to the great actor and co-star of the Sound of Music and so many other great films, Christopher Plummer: He has died at the age of 91.

Oh, and also R.I.P. to some older person in your life who will possibly die within a month or so because you couldn't resist going to some fucking stupid Super Bowl party: Send them our condolences... in advance.

Let the bells ring and the confetti fall! The HUMP! 2021 Film Festival is NOW STREAMING ONLINE, featuring an array of hot 'n' horny amateur dirty flicks submitted by hot people like YOU. Get your tickets pronto!

Here are the only correct answers to the question, "The Super Bowl is this weekend... who's playing?"

Bill's Off Broadway is out, Pelicana Chicken is in: While nothing can replace Bill's in the heart of many Capitol Hill folk, Pelicana Chicken—an American offshoot of a South Korean chain—looks dope as fuck. Owner J Yeojoo told CHS Blog that he plans to open around May.

Seattle Opera is laying off 24 people on furlough: Because the pandemic ain't getting any better—especially for live entertainment venues. That leaves the company with 53 full- and part-time employees and a budget of $12 million (around half its budget pre-pandemic). Bummer.

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FEMA awards Washington $275 million to support COVID-19 vaccine distribution sites: Half of which will go toward "reimbursing costs related to the state's vaccination program."

Mask the fuck up before taking a flight: The Transportation Security Administration has announced that travelers who violate the federal mask mandate can receive fines starting at $250. Those fines will increase will each subsequent violation up to $1500. And that's on top of however airline operators choose to discipline travelers for not obeying the rules.

OK, has anyone else watched Cardi B's music video for "Up"? Still not sure how to feel about the song itself, but these visuals are really hot and her outfits are sickening.