Lol at those little spurs
Lol at those little spurs, and at the late "mounted unit" in general. 400tmax / Getty Images

“Compassion Seattle” reserves the right to change its mind. Backers of a proposed voter initiative to address homelessness have adjusted the wording of the measure, re-filing it with slight tweaks and an expiration date. Wouldn’t want to be compassionate for too long, would we! The whole thing remains rather vague on funding and implementation.

King County is close to going back to Phase 2. In order to stay in Phase 3, we need to have 200 or fewer cases per 100,000 residents — currently, we’re at 198.5. We also need to have five or fewer hospitalizations per 100,000 residents, and right now we’re at 3.5 to 4. We sure do like pushing our luck, don’t we?

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Closing arguments today in the Derek Chauvin trial. The jury will start its deliberations this afternoon. Chauvin faces three different charges for the death of George Floyd. Prosecutors spent the last three weeks establishing that police used excessive force, while defense attorneys said Floyd’s drug use and exhaust from the police car killed him. Meanwhile, cops killed a 20-year-old during a traffic stop just a few miles from the site of the trial, and distressing footage emerged of police killing a 13-year-old in Chicago.

Is this weather here to stay? Nope! Hope you made the most of it, because this week is going to cool in the 60s and might even get rainy by next weekend. (Your governor enjoyed the nice weather with what looks like a particularly muddy bike ride.) With rain on the way, now is the time to get your tomatoes, basil, and peas planted. I hate to break it to you, but it’s probably too late to plant radishes. You missed your chance. Sorry. Maybe next year.

There’s no such thing as a free dinner. A homophobic evangelical group tried to invite Seattle cops to a free dinner at a hotel in Bellevue. The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, which sounds like an obscure sequel to Neon Genesis Evangelion, claimed that the dinner was simply a way of thanking cops for their service — uh huh, sure, a free no-strings attached gift for cops couldn’t possibly have any ulterior motive, could it? Anyway, after initially approving the invitation, the Seattle Police Department later rescinded it with a giant “whoops.” The dinner is still on, though, for May 11 and 12 at the Hyatt Regency Bellevue, with check-in from 6pm to 6:30. (Portland’s is scheduled for May 5 and 6.) Wouldn’t it be fun to stand outside the hotel with a camera to see who actually accepted the invite?

The world’s most expensive trash pickup. Seattle Police Lieutenant Sina Ebinger is no longer with the department following an investigation into whether she inappropriately used her city connections to request a trash pickup like she was ordering a pizza. The Office of Police Accountability found that she used her position as an officer for personal gain and was then dishonest when people started investigating. No word on what trash she had removed, but my money’s on a barricade made of jersey barriers and chain link fence.

Nintendo sues Bowser. Gary Bowser, that is, a coincidentally-named man who sold Switch hacks according to a lawsuit filed in Seattle. Nintendo says that Washington residents have visited Bowser’s website 25,000 times (shame on you), and they’re going after him for $2,500 per device sold and $150,000 per copyright violation. Oh, by the way and apropos of nothing, this unofficial PC port of Super Mario 64 was just updated.

Look how nice these libraries are. Chicago builds libraries with several floors of affordable housing above. Looks good! Should be three times taller, though.

It costs a lot to look that cheap. Check out this fascinating article about how much it costs to get on Drag Race — performers say they’re spending tens of thousands just to get on the show, to say nothing of what it costs to be competitive. We can’t all be oil executives like RuPaul.

Meet your newest popufur. Imagine trying to explain this to someone who has never seen the Internet.

Fire rings are coming back to Alki Beach. They’ll be in place by Memorial Day weekend. Oh God, is Memorial Day weekend really “soon”? Jesus, wasn’t it just Christmas? Anyway, this should prove some relief to the fire department dispatchers who have to constantly send someone out to shake a finger sternly at illegal burns.

The new Farmers Market location on Capitol Hill is almost perfect. There were long lines of shoppers patiently waiting to enter the gorgeous new plaza nestled between light rail stations and Cal Anderson Park. “It’s jumping!” one vendor said to another, stuffing carrots into a sack. “I wasn’t expecting this,” he replied. They should probably get used to it — the new Sunday market spot is perfect. Or at least, it would be if it didn’t shut down for the other six days of the week. That street needs to be permanently converted to a 24/7 pedestrian way.

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Jaleel White is launching a brand of cannabis. Sure, why the hell not. The new line of weed, which includes variants on the “Purple Urkle” strain, will launch on 4/20. Urkle, if you’re too young to remember, was a weird Family Matters character who started off as a goofy one-shot and then slowly grew to become a main character as the show got increasingly unhinged over the years. If you haven’t watched it recently, please get baked and enjoy this highlight reel of some of his funniest scenes. Honestly, we all claimed to be annoyed by him back then, but in hindsight he’s a really talented comedic actor. Look at that take at 2:52! He’s so good!

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