Eyman says the state drained him dry. Kinky.
Eyman says the state "drained" him "dry." Kinky. Heidi Groover

Bruce is our next mayor: We've got around 65,000 votes left to count in Seattle, but the results are clear. Seattle will have its second Black mayor and its first Asian American mayor when Bruce Harrell replaces Jenny Durkan at City Hall. Progressives made up points during today's ballot drop, but not enough to prevent González from conceding. It's concession speech time.

The port looks fun though.

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Initiative- and rolling chair-enthusiast Tim Eyman could lose his home: Eyman, referred to as "Washington’s premier conservative activist for the last two decades" by the Seattle Times and "a sneaky-snake scammer" by The Stranger, owes the state of Washington around $5.4 million, reports the Times. That total includes millions in state attorney fees and millions in a fine for violating Washington campaign finance laws. A court ordered Eyman to pay $10,000 a month. He missed his September and October payments:

At one point in September, after [Attorney General Bob] Ferguson’s office sent several emails and messages to Eyman’s lawyer inquiring about that month’s payment, Eyman’s lawyer responded with a photo, court filings say.

It was a picture of a check and a stamped envelope, addressed to the state.

“But with no postmark,” Ferguson wrote in court documents. “The check has never been received."

Now the state would like to sell Eyman's home. The Times has the story.

Real news from Brazil: "Man eaten by piranhas after jumping into lake to escape bees"

Real news from Washinton: "Spokane County Sheriff launches billboard in cities across US with 'Washington' misspelled"

And over in the other Washington: Nancy wants a vote tonight on the massive social safety net and climate bill and a vote tomorrow on the infrastructure bill, but that probably isn't happening. Manchin is on TV squirming over price tags as the rest of us frogs slowly boil to death. A former Trump administration Justice Department official will testify about the Capitol Insurrection on Friday, and Liz Cheney says the committee investigating that insurrection has interviewed over 150 people. Also, it's 46 degrees in DC. A freeze is coming.

Privilege problems: A federal judge doesn't appear to buy Trump's reasoning for keeping his presidential records regarding his involvement with the insurrection out of the hands of Congress. The judge asked the former president's lawyers tough questions they didn't seem prepared to answer.

Today in "Life comes at ya fast": "She said she wasn’t going to jail for Jan. 6, citing ‘blonde hair white skin.’ A judge sentenced her to 60 days behind bars." A whole 60 days.

Garfield High School evacuated its students this afternoon: A Seattle Public Schools spokesperson told Capitol Hill Seattle Blog that a threat initiated the evacuation. SPD later clarified that it was a bomb threat. Students were released for the day.

Jeff loses: Earlier this year, NASA awarded a $2.9 billion contract to Elon Musk's SpaceX to develop a lunar landing system for astronauts. Jeff Bezos's Blue Origin sued NASA over the choice. Today a federal judge threw out its lawsuit. And that's today's billionaire space race update.

A woman's dead body was found at the Seattle arboretum today. Police are investigating.

A man's dead body "was dissected before paying viewers at an 'Oddities and Curiosities Expo' in Oregon," reports AP. The man, a 98-year-old World War II and Korean War veteran, died of COVID and wanted his body donated for science. KING 5 is all over this freaky shit.

Adding this to the reading list: ‘I Could Never Abandon Them’: Neopets Users Play On. I wonder how my NeoPets are doing.

Speaking of games: It's about to be a big weekend for Animal Crossing fans. A major (and final) free update just dropped, and the Switch hit will also get a major DLC tomorrow. It's meaty. Considering this weather, I'm ready to get back to the island.

Taking the Lone Star to court: The Justice Department is suing Texas over its shitty, anti-American anti-voting laws that criminalize 24-hour voting and drive-through ballot drops while allowing whack-job conservatives to observe (and most likely interfere) with ballot counting.

You can have her: The Seattle Times highlighted last night that former Seattle Police Chief Carmen Best is reportedly on the shortlist for the next NYPD police chief. The New York Post dropped the list, but the Times' report included this detail:

Asked in June if he would consider bringing Best back, [Bruce] Harrell said: “I won’t exclude that at all.”

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Best, in her interview Wednesday, said she has “a huge amount of respect” for Harrell, but added: “I’m not considering being the chief in Seattle again.”

It'll fall on Bruce Harrell to pick Seattle's next police chief.

Bienvenidos a Miami: Alaska announced it's creating a nonstop flight from Seattle to Miami, starting June 16. Get ready to bounce in the club where the heat is on.