You wet? It's fucking wet.

Today in "Ummmm... ew?" news: "Subway tuna lawsuit claims chicken, pork DNA were found in samples."

Biden continues to combat the inflation narrative: For the last week or so Biden has been a broken record: the best way to decrease inflation is to pass the social spending bill so that bills for low- and middle-income people decrease. The New York Times called up a bunch of economists who have diametrically opposing views, and in their worst case scenario core services immediately get cheaper for low income families (child care, prescription drugs), which would put more money in their pocket that they’re more inclined to spend, and then inflation for some goods will rise before decreasing over the next couple years. Scary.

Wall Street is “yawning” over Biden’s proposed corporate tax: After Trump bathed corporations in money with his 2017 tax cut, Wall Street analysts tell Politico that the President’s “piddling” $124 billion tax hike is essentially meaningless. They expect big businesses to buy back their stocks to benefit wealthy shareholders at “levels unseen” in the last couple years.

Boosters for everyone 18 and older in Colorado, says Gov. Polis. COVID-19 infections are surging in the state, so the governor bucked federal guidelines and issued an order for all adults 18 and older to receive the extra jabs. The FDA probably won't be too far behind Polis.

A word from Larry David. Or rather, a lack-of-a-few-words:

Privilege update: An appeals court has temporarily allowed Trump to block the Biden administration from giving Congress the former president's documents that would show what sort of shenanigans he was up to on the day of January 6 when domestic terrorists attacked the Capitol. However, the court said it's fast-tracking the case for November 30 when they'll issue a final decision. And then?

We're not optimistic about this one: The defense has rested in the case of Kenosha shooter Kyle Rittenhouse—who shot and killed two people and wounded another during a 2020 Wisconsin protest. The decision now goes to an overwhelmingly white jury.



Also, this:

There will temporarily be no Dick's on Capitol Hill: Capitol Hill Seattle blog has the scoop: "Our Broadway location will close starting Monday, December 13th, for remodel. This location has not been remodeled since it was first built in 1954. Although the outside will look the same, inside we are getting new plumbing, electrical, built-in coolers, equipment, etc. We hope to reopen sometime in spring of 2022."

Speaking of old-ass buildings: The Neptune turns 100 years old next week, and Seattle Times has a feature up about how the place went from "the finest suburban motion picture theater in this part of the country" in 1921 to the music venue it is today.

In Case You Missed It—which, if you did, good, this news is stupid—Justin Bieber will perform in the "metaverse" during a November 18 concert. No, not Facebook's metaverse, just the regular old metaverse. But the performance is genuinely confusing: The fine print says that "Justin Bieber - An Interactive Virtual Experience is not made for VR platforms or supported in VR web browsers." So it's, just, what? A 45-minute livestream? Probably pre-recorded? The interactive part is that you can turn on your webcam and maybe you'll appear in a box next to him like a Zoom call? Anyways, Hollywood Reporter says "the virtual concert follows similar events on Epic Games’ Fortnite, which hosted massively popular in-game concerts with Travis Scott and Ariana Grande last year and earlier this year, respectively."

Scott probably wishes he stayed in the metaverse: Another death has been reported from the deadly crowd surge at Scott's Astroworld festival, this time a college student, bringing the death toll to nine.

The State Department wants you to get out of Haiti: Officials cited the “current security situation and infrastructure challenges” in the country, which has been hit with a couple devastating natural disasters and a totally politically destabilizing presidential assassination in the last few months, Al Jazeera reports. Specific issues include “widespread fuel shortages” that may limit “access to banks, money transfers, urgent medical care, internet and telecommunications, and public and private transportation options.”

Shit’s getting real in Belarus: The European Union claims that Belarusian dictator Alexander Lukashenko responded to EU sanctions by telling “thousands” of Iraqi, Syrian, and Yemeni refugees to cross into Poland, which triggered a winter refugee crisis, according to the BBC. The EU is now threatening even more sanctions, as refugees freeze outside awaiting entry.

Happy Birthday, Darcelle: Next Tuesday is a big day for the Portland drag legend Darcelle (Walter Cole), who not only celebrates his 91st birthday, but also will see his club Darcelle XV put on the National Register of Historic Places. To think, this chick was really born during the Hoover administration.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME TEENSY-TINY TRUTH BOMBS? The Stranger has organized an international line-up of documentary shorts for its inaugural SCOOP Film Festival, premiering tomorrow. It has heavy Seattle representation, featuring mini-docs about Capitol Hill's Lady Krishna and the C-ID's Bush Garden. It's funny, it's provocative, it's strange. Watch the trailer below and grab a ticket here—this baby's entirely online, available to watch on-demand through the end of the month.

Here's a very good playlist: You could listen to it on repeat, or you could just head on over to Ballard and hear it all in person.

Also, Shamir has a new song out: This GIF is how we feel when the beat drops.