Cinco de Drinko: Today, the girlies will be stepping out, testing the limits of just how drunk you can get on a work night. Cinco de Mayo is not the Mexican equivalent of 4th of July. I know that’s a hard pill to swallow, as we refer to both occasions by their dates. The holiday celebrates the Mexican Army dunking on Napoleon III’s army in the Battle of Puebla way back in 1862. Cinco de Mayo is less of a big deal in Mexico itself. Mexican-Americans first popularized the celebration, and then American bars and restaurants commercialized it.
So go out, take a Boomerang of each of your six rounds of margaritas, and tip well! Maybe even give a little money to local organizations who support Mexican-Americans, like La Resistencia.
Your walkouts worked, kiddos! After countless student walkouts in protest of the district's negligence around sexual harassment and assault, the Seattle Public School District added two new sexual harassment policies. According to The Seattle Times, the district's biggest change involved making policies different for teachers and students to achieve a more student-centered approach. We'll see if this one makes out victims to be bullies!
Speaking of walkouts: Students will walkout this afternoon in protest of the Supreme Court's draft opinion on Roe v. Wade. Stay tuned.
ICYMI: Since the release of that very unfortunate draft decision, our solidly pro-choice region has reacted in two distinct ways: Is it time to fundraise or to tear shit up? I wrote about two rallies, one at Kerry Park where the Democrats told us to vote a little harder, and one at Westlake where advocates who don't want to vote in more Democrats after the party has proven they can't or won't protect our right to choose. See the tweet below.
And now, a message from King County Executive Dow Constantine: While the City of Seattle won't commit to a fund for people seeking abortions so far, at the Kerry Park rally, Constantine gave some hope that the county may step up, like other cities have, to fund safe and legal abortion. He said the county will “commit every resource” to support people who need an abortion. When I emailed his office to clarify this statement, a spokesperson replied:
King County funds a number of programs that support education and access to abortion care, such as the inclusion of abortion and contraception options in our nation-leading FLASH sex ed curriculum and funding for local health clinics and school-based health clinics that provide reproductive health services and education.
While the County does not currently have a dedicated funding source for abortion specifically, Executive Constantine plans to work with policy experts, public health officials, and providers to explore proposals in the coming biennial budget process that would facilitate abortion access for residents within King County and those who may travel to King County to access abortion care in light of the potential SCOTUS action to overturn Roe v. Wade.
The weather: Yesterday was warmer-than-normal, which, if you're a Seattle weather super fan, you'll know is pretty wild after such a cold April. But apparently that bout of sunshine and warmth is over.
Turns out lenticulars on Mount Rainier were not the only way to cap this Wednesday in Seattle. After the one day break wet and cool weather returns Thursday. #wawx pic.twitter.com/yEMSilZPu4
— NWS Seattle (@NWSSeattle) May 5, 2022
Soccer: The Sounders won big last night.
Some progress: Last week, news broke that budget cuts threatened to end the beloved culinary program at Seattle Central College. In an effort to save it, organizers created a Change.org petition that garnered over 6,000 signatures. It appears the pressure worked. According to the petition's latest update, the college will allow new students to enroll in the program for fall quarter. But “the fight is not over yet,” reads the petition’s update. “We still are on a mission to secure funding for future classes.”
Attention basic bitch boys: You will no longer have to drive your hybrid all the way to Bellevue to get your slightly elevated basics. Uniqlo applied for a permit to take up about 13,000 square feet of the ground floor of the Macy's building downtown. Also, I like this KIRO 7 story because it quoted someone who "visits downtown monthly" for a personal temperature check on how Uniqlo will impact the area. That is fun.
I would walk 2,500 miles and I would walk 2,500 more: When COVID-19 interrupted his ski lessons, 70-year-old Peter Aberg put his walking shoes on. Working from his Northeast Seattle home, he walked every neighborhood in Seattle. The amount of tiny libraries this man has seen. Incredible.
Please don't kill unhoused people with samurai swords: A Tacoma store clerk used a samurai-style sword to kill a woman experiencing homelessness Saturday night. Obviously, her family is devastated.
How to vaccinate a tiger: Crosscut dropped the guide you did not know you needed. Woodland Park Zoo has fully vaccinated 48 animals, and they are working to give animals as much say in the matter as possible.
Mar-a-Lago is a beautiful name for a baby girl: Former President and current whiny bitch Donald Trump hosted a watch party of 2,000 Mules, a whacky "documentary" about voter fraud in the 2020 election. Bro, I wish there was voter fraud. Maybe then we could have voted for people who didn't have rape allegations leveled against them. Anyway, Trump invited some of our favs: Rudy Giuliani, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Kyle Rittenhouse.
Get a job! The job market is a wild place, but right now it looks like things might be in the worker's favor. NPR said that the economy is booming and that college students are getting job offers before they even graduate. But also, The Guardian asks: Who the fuck wants a job? lmaoooo nerds.
Madison Cawthorn face-humping video:
Everything I’ve learned about Madison Cawthorn recently has been against my will
— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) May 4, 2022
Yesterday, Republican Rep. Madison "This country needs God" Cawthorn of North Carolina self-reported and confirmed the veracity of a really blurry video that his opposition released of him naked in bed with a friend. Cawthorn's short time in Congress has been turbulent to say the least. Most recently, he claimed on a podcast that people in Washington D.C. have invited him to participate in orgies and have used cocaine in front of him. This pissed off the Republicans, who apparently don't want the biggest optical win of the century handed to them. Coke orgies?! The best the Democrats could do is probably CBD oil and "ethically non-monogamous" on their Bumble profile.
The queen *sad face*: I've offended some of y'all with anti-British sentiment in the past, so I'll just stick to the news here. The Queen will not attend her summer garden parties.