Someone Read Screech's Saved By the Bell Tell-All Book So You Don't Have To

As he promised back in 2008, a broke and shameless Dustin Diamond has written a book all about his scandal-filled years as Screech on Saved By the Bell. And someone actually read it cover to cover. This person, this brave and patient person, waded through the ocean of typos, repeating paragraphs, and bad grammar to highlight 11 of the "most ridiculous, salacious and lurid Saved by the Bell sex (and drug) scandals revealed."

Not only did everyone on the show sleep with everyone else on the show, but, according to Screech, these things also happened:

"Executive producer Peter Engel used to have bisexual threesomes with Tiffani-Amber Thiessen and Mark-Paul Gosselaar in his office."

"Mario Lopez raped a girl, and NBC paid her hush money."

"Dustin Diamond had sex with NBC's VP of children's programming, Linda Mancuso."

And...

"Ed 'Max' Alonzo used to get gay with Neil Patrick Harris while they talked about magic."

You can see the rest of the list (and read the details) at 11points.com.

I hope Mr. Diamond has a good lawyer. (Or, maybe I don't hope that. Maybe it will be fun to watch him drown in lawsuits, actually.)