An Iowa state elected official—can you guess which party?—trots out a tired, false, and repeatedly debunked stat to justify banning gay marriage: gay people have lower life expectancies than straight people. And since we don’t contribute as much to society as “normal people that do not enter into that kind of relationship,” we clearly shouldn’t be allowed to marry. (The haters use these false stats to argue against our right to be at all.)
First: those stats are bullshit. And second…
Even if it were true—even if gay people had lower life expectancies (which we do not)—and if that “fact” all by itself was a justification for banning same-sex marriage, why stop with gay people? Iowa should ban fat marriage. There are, according to the state of Iowa, more than 1.4 million obese people living in Iowa. That’s nearly 30% of the state’s population, and those numbers just keep rising. The social costs of Iowa’s obesity epidemic are pretty staggering—and those costs include including premature death and lower average life expectancies for Iowans.
Since we know that obesity is “contagious“—someone with an obese spouse is 37% more likely to be or become obese—then we shouldn’t permit the obese to marry. If an outright ban on fat marriage seems too draconian, then we shouldn’t permit the obese to marry the non-obese. The odds that the skinny spouse will be ultimately be seduced into the risky obese lifestyle are simply too great and the potential health consequences too severe.
You’re right, in order to prove how worthy we are to be a part of society, the best thing to do is point out the greater unworthiness of someone else. Why not ask society to up its game instead?
Thanks, Dan. I am definitely in favor of same-sex marriage. And fat marriage, too. And totally in favor of you becoming a tad more mature and a tad less judgmental. Can you up your game?
You’re right, in order to prove how worthy we are to be a part of society, the best thing to do is point out the greater unworthiness of someone else. Why not ask society to up its game instead?
Thanks, Dan. I am definitely in favor of same-sex marriage. And fat marriage, too. And totally in favor of you becoming a tad more mature and a tad less judgmental. Can you up your game?
This is a pathetic argument. Ban fat marriage, ban gay marriage, ban marriage between races (it was a law at one time, people). While we’re at it, can we ban marriages between stupid people? The list of banned marriages could go on and on.
You know what the real problem is? LABEL PROPAGATION! Gay, straight (“Breeder” for you Dan), fat, thin, black, white, tall, thin, ADD, ADHD…this culture is overwrought with labelers waiting to put a label on something-EVERYTHING. We don’t just wear alligaotrs on our shirts or polo ponies to show our status, now we actually have to label our skin, our mindset, our physical composite-and anything else we can think of.
Can’t we just be people? Do all these labels REALLY matter? Would you love your mother less if she were fat, short, stupid, or interacial? See? We draw the line when we have an emotional attachment to someone. It’s easy to throw the label at a stranger, isn’t it?
In the end, we all have the same thing-gray matter upstairs/brains and SOME of us (not all) have a heart/compassion. Hell, and I’m even a REPUBLICAN *gasp* (just wanted to add ANOTHER label for you to stereotype with).
Dan, since you like labels so much, please kiss my big fat ripply white heterosexual ass that I normally refer to as finely sculpted muscle (except in instances such as this-when my “white trash” label is warranted).
Shame on you, Dan. Just because you’re gay, doesn’t mean you get to be a bigot. As a gay man, I have to say it. Shame on you for all the mean things you say to make people feel a little worse about their bodies. Shame on you for all the racist words you said during Prop 8. Sometimes your funny. Sometimes you are compassionate. But most of the time, you’re not someone worthy of being read by so many people.
I hate to nit-pick (or, on second thoughts, maybe I don’t), but “include including” is not correct — the “including” should be deleted from the post. Otherwise, crystal-clear and accurate as usual, Dan!
@36-Geni-you are hilarious.
Dan Savage can go fuck himself. I’m a mostly gay overweight man who might marry a man someday. Dig the tunnel.
The reason why the fat comparison works best is not so much for the argument of limited life expectancy, but because of the side argument that the reason some straight people have trouble countenancing gay marriage is the thought of gay sex, and comparing it to the visual of fat sex. Although I suppose smoker sex could be considered revolting to some.
Someone proposed banning marriage. That’s good but doesn’t go far enough. I propose banning sex. . . .
um, i know Savage is getting served right now over at Lindy’s place (it’s a wonderful post, yay Lindy), but isn’t his entire post here tongue and cheek? of course one can’t and shouldn’t ban “fat marriage.” that isn’t his point. it is precisely bc being overweight has nothing to do with whether or not two people should get married that he’s using it as a comparison to marriage between gays. he’s not suggesting discrimination against the overweight, he’s simply suggesting that there is no good rationale for discriminating against gays.
@ 56 – You’re right, he shouldn’t be read by so many people who can’t read.
Dan, I generally like your stuff. But this fat stuff? Lay off already. We all know you like thin, fit guys. That’s fine, it’s your opinion, and hey, I happen to share your preference. But please, schmearing fat folk is way, way beneath someone who does their best to put out quality information for real people in a real world the way you do. You deal with bigotry all the time, don’t keep doing this yourself.
They clearly shouldn’t permit people to marry who might eventually have kids and then divorce, either. It’s mentally and physically traumatizing/scarring for the children. Depression can create lower life expectancies too. Or lead to obesity. Double whammy!
http://www.womanist-musings.com/2011/02/…
Yup, he’s getting attacked over here as well.
I don’t know whether it’s more funny or more sad when satire goes completely over someone’s head. Swift comes to mind, as I think others have said. :/
@Glambitch
Nobody’s comfortable on an airplane, fat or thin. It’s a small, cramped space no matter how inexplicably scrawny you are. Out of everyone on the plane, what the fuck makes you so special, other than the fact that you can fit a grand total of 15 bananas into your vagina and still manage to walk comfortably?
You are a selfish bitch. Shut the fuck up and deal, you corpse-in-makeup, and quit jabbing your zombified elbows into my side.
It’s a three hour ride from here to Albuquerque.
Trust me, I can make it feel a loooooot longer.