As Slog readers know, earlier this week we launched the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge to raise money for the hungry this holiday season. We have a successful track record here at Slog of choosing some person/organization/thing and then challenging them to a fundraising-off without telling them. Last year, the Slog vs. Gawker Holiday Charity Challenge—which we did not tell Gawker about, and which Gawker maybe still doesn't know about—raised $29,327.21 for Northwest Harvest. Considering Northwest Harvest can feed a family of three for only 67 cents, that did a world of good for some of the neediest people in the Northwest.
Paid for by Committee to Reelect Judge North, P.O. Box 27113, Seattle, WA 98165
So this year we were brainstorming about who to go toe-to-toe with for the holiday auction. The Seattle Times? Rob McKenna? Pit bulls? Then someone said "Kenny G?" And Kenny G it was! For no particular reason! Smooth-jazz hit maker! Haver of extra long hair! From the Northwest! Rumored to have been former Stranger managing editor Bradley Steinbacher's babysitter! Probably a total sweetheart! Music editor Emily Nokes drew a very lovely portrait of Kenny G for the charity-challenge artwork…
…and the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge was on!
Until Kenny G's manager caught whiff of it. Whoa, boy, Kenny G's manager is pissed. Lordy, he's mad. Or at least he said he was Kenny G's manager. Seemed like he was Kenny G's manager. He was so mad, we thought for a minute it was a radio-station prank. On Wednesday, he called and yelled at our managing editor Bethany Jean Clement, who is one of the calmest and most understanding people on Earth. He screamed at her that it is vitally important that everyone know that Kenny G is not now and was never involved in the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge. He yelled, "HOW DARE YOU!"
Bethany attempted to explain that it was just a stupid joke and that Sloggers have a sense of humor. Kenny G's manager shouted from his office in Los Angeles, "I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!" He called Bethany, Slog, and Northwest Harvest itself "DECEITFUL!" Did we mention Kenny G's manager sounded very angry? Bethany was not the only Stranger staffer Kenny G's manager reamed out over the phone.
Anyway, the human ball of anger who identified himself as Kenny G's manager will not rest until we put a stop to the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge. After insisting we add a disclaimer that Kenny G was not and is not involved in the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge, he shouted: "DON'T DO IT AGAIN!" So, after four great days and more than $2,000 raised for hungry people in our state, the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge is over. Because we have a better idea now.
Effectively immediately, we are changing this year's fundraising drive to the Slog vs. People Who Are So Mad They Call Us Up to Shout at Us Holiday Charity Challenge! So the Kenny G art is going away (sad smooth-jazz trombone!!) and Emily has drawn a replacement image of what she imagines Kenny G's manager looked like when he was shouting at us:
You're not gonna keep us from raising money for Northwest Harvest, Kenny G's manager! Your anger is no match for the generosity of Slog. If you haven't given yet, now is the time! Click here to stick it to people who are so mad they call us up to shout at us, while also giving the homeless and the hungry a leg up this season. Forward us your receipt and your commenter handle and we'll tag all your comments with a SWASHBUCKLING HERO badge. If you've already donated something, consider giving a little more, just to let Kenny G's manager know where you stand.
So the charity challenge artwork has changed...
…and starting next week, Slog staffers will be regaling you with stories of past encounters with people who were so mad at us about something we wrote that they called us up to shout at us. THERE HAVE BEEN MANY. Also, if you've ever been screamed at by random people over the holidays, tell us the story in the comments. This is going to be the best holiday season on Slog yet.