by Friday at 3:26 pm•
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My dads adopted me, and later my little brother, at birth. Neither of us have ever had to ask for anything: love, encouragement, support. Six months ago, when our dads told us they'd been seeing another man, "Melvin," for some time, I hoped I finally had the opportunity to return the favor.
But Melvin's sense of humor is barbed. One of my dads stayed home to raise my brother and me, and we're incredibly close. We chat on the phone three or four nights a week, and sometimes I'll speak with my other dad. Melvin often spends evenings with my dads, and he'll jump on the extension and say things like, "Oh, is she still talking?" Or, "You need more friends!" Last week he hit the receiver so the phone hung up while I was talking to my dad. He always says he's joking, and my dads assure me that's just his sense of humor.
Melvin also disappears to another room when my brother or I stop by the house. Our dads often invite us over for dinner, and if one of us is in the neighborhood, we might call and see if we can swing by. Melvin often "jokes" about how weirdly close-knit we are. He once made a joke about my brother being my dads' type, and when I called him on it, he insisted I'd misunderstood him.
My dads have asked my brother and me to be patient with Melvin. His parents, I gather, were fairly horrible people. I guess I'm wondering if the answer here is that I should get a life and give my dads space. My boyfriend thinks Melvin is an asshole, but it's hard for me to accept that my dads would choose to remain with someone who doesn't like, or isn't open, to my brother and me. Do you have any advice?
Kinda In Distress