I'm a 47-year-old heterosexual male, never married, no kids, and single for many years now. I've always appreciated your statements on the podcast that there isn't someone for everyone. I also agree with your statement it's impossible to give the undateable useful dating advice, and I'm not asking for such advice here.

I've never wanted kids, and over the last few years I've made peace with the fact I've been alone a long time, and will likely be alone for many more years. I have a good job, I have friends, hobbies, I go out and enjoy myself. I recognize my life is pretty good, and I'm grateful for what I have. I'm not shutting the door completely on love, but I'm working on not beating myself up over not being partnered.

So what's the problem? The opinion of everyone else in the world.

It comes across in many ways. A co-worker gets married, then has a child, and everyone talks how this is achievement—like marriage and children are items you accumulate. Someone mutters "He's X years old and unmarried—is he gay or a serial killer?" I was listening to another popular podcast where the host and guest discussed how many times they'd both been married and then the host suggests if you're over 40 and have never been married "something is wrong with you!" Well, I'm far from perfect but I see nothing wrong with me that isn't wrong with married folks with kids. My personal pet peeve is people who tell me I just haven't grown up. Excuse me? I'm a child because I don't have kids? I can give myself all the pep talks in the mirror, but society keeps telling me that being old and single indicates some horrific personality flaw that wipes out any positive qualities. I get it: People judge. We all judge. It's human nature. But having the value of my entire existence boiled down to whether I have a romantic partner or offspring just sticks in my craw.

My question then is simple: Is this constant feeling of being judged just something I have to live with? Do you have some thought or insight on this?

Single Not A Psycho

I have a question for you, finally. Maybe it's a common question. Maybe it's just a story. I have an approximately 20 year old blow up doll, new in package, that has been in outdoor storage for part of that time, so I found a spider nest, a couple ants, some debris. Cleaned her up, she holds air, and—after dressed—I can see why they might appeal to imaginative doll or oddity collector. When I claimed the doll, I was thinking, "You guys can't throw this away! It was made to be cared for, and as a piece of art, it should at least be used, and not wasted!" Especially after I saw that face. The face doesn't fully blow up, so we put sunglasses on her, so she looks ok.

Question is: How do we get rid of her? It's a Teighlor Big Babe Doll, and I looked it up, and she didn't receive any of the profits on the doll, her image was stolen for it. Also, I don't want to give her to someone that would abuse her, as I know humans are want to do. I bet you will ultimately tell me to leave a note down at the porn store and maybe someone will want it. I just had a glimmer of hope that you might know someone offhand that collects these sorts of things or who has a special place in their heart for Teighlor. There is a little mildew spotting on her breasts that didn't come off with isopropyl alcohol, but other than that, she's in great shape for being boxed for twenty years. I cleaned her "tongue," there were some cobwebs in there, but I could not bring myself to violate her nether orifices. They told me it was unused, and I believe them.

Thank You for your time.

Delivering Onna Lotta Lover

P.S. I've enclosed a photo.

Our son, who is almost 30 years old, was married four years ago. He just shared with us that for the last three years he and his wife have been practicing polyamory. They are committed to their relationship, but have each had relationships with both men and women over the last three years. We are trying to get our heads around this, as we come from a more traditional background (we've been married 40 years in a loving and respectful relationship), and we find ourselves feeling very sad. We are accepting and non-judgmental, just trying to understand how he came to this decision. He feels that to make love "finite," to love only one person, is "not being true" and that this kind of relationship prevents dishonesty and is based on truth. He also shared that his wife was the first one to broach this idea three years ago and after many long and deep conversations he eventually overcame his jealousy and now is embracing this practice. They do not have children and do not plan to ever have children. Any guidance you can provide to us would be greatly appreciated.

I greatly admire you and your work, and thank you for all of the caring guidance you have provided over the years.

Sad Mama

I'm a 24-year-old gay woman living in a large midwestern city. My 26-year-old girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and we just got a house together a few months ago. Believe it or not, things are going great! Even though our sex drives are vastly different, we enjoy a loving, satisfying level of physical intimacy.

However, it took us a while to get to this point. Her sex drive is much lower than mine, so I've had to step up in our relationship and become the primary initiator—something I definitely wasn't used to since I previously only dated/slept with men. I'm more than happy to be the one who gets things going most of the time, because even though my drive is leagues above hers she's usually game once I put on the moves.

Lately, I've expressed an interest in changing things up a bit. Instead of super-long, super-hot lady sex sessions, I've tried to make things a little more one-sided. Rather than tit-for-tat sex, sometimes I just want to go down on her or rail her a strap-on without receiving anything in return. She STRONGLY opposes this. She says that me giving to her makes her want to give to me, which is fair. I'd feel the same way in that situation. But I also believe that in a long-term relationship things aren't always going to be reciprocal. I'm into that. I'm a squirter, and sometimes we just don't have time for the prep and cleanup that's required.

Obviously, I don't want to force her into having a kind of sexual experience she doesn't want to have! But what am I supposed to do about my fantasies of surprising her with an oral quickie on my way out the door in the morning?

Giving Is Getting

I have two vaginas. I'd had a number of routine pelvic exams with my old doctor, but she never discovered it. My new gyno, however, discovered my "atypical anatomy" right away last week. The anatomical specifics are irrelevant to my question—everything is fully functioning, sex isn't painful, and everything externally looks completely normal.

I'm a straight girl in my early 20s and I've only had one sex partner. Sex was great, and only occasionally did I have to take the guy's dick and redirect him to the "better" vagina. We were each other's firsts—at the time I figured the occasional readjustment was par for the course. I didn't find out about my two vaginas (sounds like a sitcom) until after the relationship ended.

My question: Is this something I need to reveal to new partners before sex? After? Ever?

Very Abnormal Girl

I guess I'm bi-curious. I have known since I was about nine that I like girls. As I got to high school I got caught staring at a girl's boobs and one girl's body and was made fun of pretty bad. I also made the mistake of telling one of my high school boyfriends about it. He didn't like it. I regretted telling him, I felt something was wrong with me, so I never hooked up with any girls in high school. I tell you all of this to get some background and see if you can help me tell if it's not just bicurious but bisexual.

Anyhow, in summer after my senior year met my husband & at 18 started dating. A few years into it I told him about my attraction to women and he is cool with it, but we made a decision to be monogamous, so no acting on it. We can watch porn together, we can check out girls together and make fun of each other for our preferences in women.