Sports Feb 9, 2023 at 2:03 pm

The Seattle Kraken Are Winning, Here’s Everything You Need to Know to Jump on the Bandwagon

Hugs! Ethan Miller / Getty Sports



Yeah why does Buoy’s hair smell so good?


outta the inkly
fathomless Depths
of Puget Sound and
Straight into our Hearts?

with Tentacles?!
omg what's Not to LOVE?

but I've never really Gotten curling.
what's up with all them damn Brooms?

Q. what's Tyler Meyler's
Favorite Fish?

B. are they gonna play
Eli's Coming?

have you Ever
been Spronged?

a. yeah Geekster
get the damn Tank
w\twin Flamethrowers

"Every Kraken ticket comes with a free transit pass, accessed through the Kraken app, that’s valid two hours before and after the game." Briliant. 'let Metro be Y0UR Designated Driver.' do the Guests Imbibe at these Functions?

"Food here is cheaper than in the arena,
but the lines are much longer."

take a Hint from McDonalds Drive-
Thrus and have a Comedian out there
taking Orders -- what if they Miss the Only
Goal in the whole damn Game for a side of fires?

"… you are almost certainly not going to be on the receiving end of a flying puck. But if you do, you get to keep it!"

that's gotta save them
a Bundle in Extraction fees.

"If you’re a person
who uses the men’s
bathroom,* well,
plan ahead."

so, no Drinking?
got it.

*ffs it's Hockey
is there no


Everyone else
Writing like this
And skip
End to see
That actually has


@3 -- a Point is shaped
like this: ! NOT this: ?

but yeah

@2 -- Actual Quote:
"I’m going to be real:
beer is expensive. Food
is expensive. But the lines are
fast and the variety is pretty good... "

you Idiot!


Nice job putting this together, BBB. Hope this first story of yours on this site is not also your last story on this site.

Even though the Pittsburgh Penguins will always be my hockey team, I have nothing but good feelings for the Kraken. On and off the ice, this is a team that has done just about everything right. And the fact they didn't burst out of the gates in Year 1 the way their expansion predecessor and inevitable point of comparison Vegas did—that does them no disservice. Season 1 was a mulligan. I didn't imagine I would be saying this, but it looks like GM Ron Francis still knows how to build a winner.

As for all the Fleurys in the NHL, I'm old enough to remember Theo Fleury. But will always be partial to Marc-André.


Her point that hockey is best experienced live can't be overstated. Which kinda sucks, since it's so difficult to draw new fans into a sport that most people are gonna first experience on TV, and so likely to lost interest in, as the viewing experience doesn't do it justice. But if you can get out to a game you'll almost surely appreciate how interesting and dynamic it is. Cool too in that cheaper seats in the upper decks provide just as entertaining (arguably better) experience than those expensive & closer to the rink, as they afford a much better view of the whole rink/game as it plays out.


Hey man, be nice to Portland. They’re Southern Kraken fandom territory. Don’t want to lose those folks to the Canucks - or worse the Sharks.

Please wait...

Comments are closed.

Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.

Add a comment

By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.