OPENING THIS WEEK

AMSTERDAM · The Empty Space Theatre

LAKME · Seattle Center Opera House

THE THREE SISTERS · UW Meany Studio Theatre

WE WON'T PAY! WE WON'T PAY! · Stage One Theatre

ONE WEEK ONLY

DANCE THEATER OF HARLEM · Paramount Theatre

CLOSING THIS WEEK

DOG OPERA · Northwest Actors Studio

FREE WILL AND WANTON LUST · Consolidated Works

HECUBA · UW Playhouse Theatre

L'UNIVERSE · A Contemporary Theatre

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

AMADEUS

Stepping Stone Productions presents Peter Shaffer's acclaimed play about Mozart, Salieri, and how infuriating it is to watch a brilliant little bastard make his mark on the world. Nippon Kan Theater, 628 S Washington Ave, 841-2521. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, through March 4. $10-$12.

AMSTERDAM

One of Seattle's most gorgeously deranged solo artists is back in a musical piece that has her playing a naive American, her mother, and several odd Dutch folk (including a cabaret performer named Beppi). Weedman has brains, oddball humor, and a loopy creativity, and she's working again with composer James Palmer (of If Ornaments Had Lips fame). Empty Space Theatre, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, select matinees at 2. Previews begin Fri Feb 25. Runs March 1-25. $18-$26.

APPLE TO GRANDMA

Speeltheater Holland comes to Seattle with some trippy puppets in a tale of moons, caterpillars, and a big, tasty apple. Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. Fri at 7, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30, through April 16. $8.25-$20.50.

DOG OPERA

Its story of the friendship between a gay man and a neurotic woman is familiar territory by now, but Constance Congdon's gentle comedy (which had its first reading at the Intiman years ago) is one of the subject's better, more touching efforts. And there's a hot, half-naked guy. Northwest Actors Studio, 11th and Pike, 324-6328. Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, through Feb 26. $10.

EINSTEIN'S DREAMS

Annex director Mark Gallagher teams with popular choreographer Amii LeGendre for a multi-media adaptation of Alan Lightman's time-tripping story collection. "The show has convinced itself that it knows more than you do, and spends an hour and a half preening in the knowledge."(Steve Wiecking) Annex Theatre, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, through March 11. $7-$12.

FAIRY TALES OF NEW YORK

J. P. Donleavy's post-World War II memory play, staged by A Theatre under the Influence, is the gently comic story of a young man returning from the insanity of Europe to find that New York City is no haven of peace, either. Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave between Pike and Union, 720-1942. Thurs-Sat at 8, through March 4. $11, pay-what-will every Thurs. Reviewed this issue.

FIRE ON THE KITCHEN TABLE

Two superlative practitioners of the brief sketch on human behavior-Seattle Mime Theatre and the late, great Raymond Carver-join forces in an evening of staged short stories. The troupe takes on Carver's Cathedral, "Why Don't You Dance?" and others. Chamber Theater, 915 E Pine St, Fourth Floor, 324-8788. Fri-Sun at 8, through March 5. $15.

*FREE WILL AND WANTON LUST

A screwball, dysfunctional family unravels in an art deco setting. This Printer's Devil Theatre production of Nicky Silver's darkly wicked (and oddly moving) play is so good that they've extended it. Featuring a terrific Cathy Sutherland. Consolidated Works, 410 Terry Ave N, 860-5245. Thurs-Sat at 8, through Feb 26. $14.

HECUBA

The Bard excepted, nobody does juicy revenge like those wacky ancient Greek guys. Euripides goes for your gut in this UW School of Drama staging of the tale of a queen and her gnawing need for retribution after learning of a son's murder and a daughter's sacrifice. University of Washington Playhouse Theatre, 4045 University Way NE, 543-4880. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, through Feb 27. $7-$10.

HENRY V

Seattle Shakespeare Festival, in a production directed by Festival Artistic Director Stephanie Shine, takes on Willy's chronicle of the dubious young prince who becomes a courageous, triumphant king. Passion, heroism, and 14 actors in 40 roles. Center House at Seattle Center, Performance Studio, Lower Level, 286-0728. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 2, through March 5. $10-$20, pay-what-you-will on Feb 27.

HOLD ME

Jules Feiffer has been tormented locally once already (the painful Little Murders at Northwest Actors Studio), so keep your fingers crossed that RipTide Theatre does him proud by successfully staging his popular off-Broadway comedy revue. At the very least, the deli theatre's accompanying buffet dinner should satisfy. Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW on Alki Beach, 405-8433, Fri-Sat with dinner at 6:30, show at 7:30, one Sun show on closing night, March 12. $22.

LAKME

The Delibes opera featuring the luscious aria which, depending on your demographic, causes you to have hot flashes (it was the music for that Catherine Deneuve/Susan Sarandon tangle in The Hunger) or reach for your pocketbook (it's quickly become commercial fodder for car and wine companies). With the divine American soprano Harolyn Blackwell. Seattle Center Opera House, Seattle Center, 389-7676. Sat-Sun Feb 26-27, and March 1, 3, 4, 8, and 11 at 7:30; select matinees at 2, through March 11. $30-$103.

Late Night Catechism

And the nun goes on. This is an evening of audience participation and interactive improv theater: think Sister Windy crossed with Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All for You. ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, extended for eternity. $24.50-$29.50.

*LA VALSE

Talented, inventive Seattle playwright S. P. Miskowski hooks up with Seattle Theatre Project (the people behind the indestructible Late Nite Catechism) for a look at sculptor Camille Claudel. "Miskowski's lovely writing can be thoughtful to a fault, but care and attention has been paid to it from all sides. Director Lisa Anne Glomb leads the accomplished ensemble to strong, engaging performances."(Steve Wiecking) Open Circle Theatre, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, through March 4. $15.

L'UNIVERSE

The Flying Karamazov Brothers are back for a brief extended run of their popular show at ACT, a comedy and juggling extravaganza featuring high-tech stuff from MIT. Directed by Gordon Edelstein. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Thurs and Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun matinees at 2, through Feb 27. $20-$45.

METAMORPHOSES

People are still raving about Mary Zimmerman's last show for the Rep-1997's dreamy Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci-and there's no reason to doubt that her latest will inspire the same devotion. It's a visual, sensual exploration of love and change, using the work of Ovid, Rilke, and others as foundation. The Rep is staging this surreal meditation at the Intiman. Intiman Theatre, Seattle Center, 443-2222. Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun matinees at 2, through March 26. $10-$42.

THE MIDWIFE'S APPRENTICE

Constance Congdon (Dog Opera, Tales of the Lost Formicans) is receiving the world premiere of her new work at the always-reliable Seattle Children's Theatre. The play is an adaptation of Karen Cushman's award-winning book about the adventures and longings of a medieval orphan girl. Bets are on that she's plucky. Charlotte Martin Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322, Fri at 7, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30, through April 8. $13.50-$20.50.

MOREAU

H. G. Wells' creepy cautionary tale about genetic tomfoolery-which in the past has roped in everyone from Marlon Brando to the South Park folks-holds sway over Taproot Theatre Company. A world premiere of Sean Gaffney's adaptation about an island, a doctor, and his "animals." Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. Wed-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat matinee at 2, through March 4. $10-$24.

9:00 IN THE AFTERNOON

A woman makes several debilitating mistakes in this original comedy-drama that swears some sex will be involved. Written and directed by Litsa Dremousis, who was responsible for last year's If I Wake before I Die. Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 284-3050. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, through March 4. $5-$10.

*THE NORMAL HEART

An activist and a reporter awaken to harsh realities in the early years of the AIDS epidemic in this production directed by Sean McEnaney. "A strong ensemble cast carries through to present a satisfying evening of theater-the most enjoyable I have ever had at the Schmee." (Adrian Ryan) Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. Thurs-Sat at 8, select matinees at 2, through March 4. $12.

NUNSENSE

Some zany, musical nuns try to offset the fact that this production is rather unholy: It's full of scabs, due to the fact that musicians are still striking for union recognition from the producing company, Civic Light Opera. Jane Addams Theatre, Summit School, 11051 34th NE, 363-2809. Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 2:30, through March 4. $16-$20.

SHUT UP AND LOVE ME

You probably know she smeared chocolate on herself, but chances are you've never actually seen infamous performance artist Karen Finley. Here's your chance to form your own opinion, listening to her have a field day with several American politicians and the "psychosexual relationships" she's had with them. We trust that Bill Clinton's ears are burning. On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. Fri-Sat at 8 & 10:30, through March 4. $20. Reviewed this issue.

*STOP KISS

A first kiss between two young women in a park provokes a violent attack in this acclaimed play by Diana Son. "The play, and the Rep's tender production, is a quiet statement about the self-awareness required to both defeat the world's wearying offensives and engage in its fleeting victories. Disarmingly genuine and funny." (Steve Wiecking) Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, 443-2222. Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun matinees at 2, through March 4. $10-$42.

THE THREE SISTERS

UW's School of Drama presents a centennial staging of Chekhov's classic in a translation by Lanford Wilson. A trio of melancholy siblings hope for more from both life and love. A 100-year-old play that never ceases to resonate. Meany Studio Theatre, University of Washington, 543-4880. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, through March 12. $7-$10.

VICKI GADGET SAVES THE WORLD

Sometimes a press release says it all: "Giddy, glittery, guerrilla-style musical theatre for the comic-book reading, eyebrow-piercing, extreme sports-playing, gender-fuck fringe." Well, alright, then. Re-bar, 1114 Howell, 323-0388. Fri-Sun at 8. Open-ended run. $10.

WE WON'T PAY! WE WON'T PAY!

In Dario Fo's popular political farce, a housewife steals some groceries and ends up in hot water, Lucy Ricardo-style, when she and her friend try to hide the fact from their husbands. Stage One Theatre, North Seattle Community College, 9600 College Way N, 527-3661. Fri-Sat at 8, also Feb 24 at 8, through March 4. Pay-what-you-can.

ZELDA & SCOTT

Subtitled Nine Short Plays about the Fitzgeralds, Nostalgic Company's original production focuses on everybody's favorite literary wastrels, the Gatsby author and his notoriously loony wife. The play is a development of their original correspondence, and its fine cast includes Megan Murphy, Michael Chick, and Charles Smith. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 329-0071, Thurs-Sat at 8, through March 4. $8. Reviewed this issue.

DANCE

DANCE THEATRE OF HARLEM

In celebration of their 30th anniversary, the pioneering company formed by Arthur Mitchell performs two pieces and premieres a third, South African Suite. A rare chance to see the troupe that launched a million dreams. Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St, 292-ARTS. Thurs-Fri Feb 24-25 only at 8. $19-$41.

FESTIVALS, CABARETS, & COMEDY

IMPROSIA: COMEDY OF THE GODS

Performing character-driven scenes based on audience suggestions. Wit's End, 770 N 34th St, 547-2330. Sat at 9:30. $7.

*THREE DOLLAR BILL

Seattle's original gay/lesbian/bisexual stand-up comedy night is still standing in its second year. The group celebrates another anniversary with a big gay-la event on Tues Feb 29. Comedy Underground, 222 S Main St, 628-0303. Tues at 8. $6.

LATE NIGHT

Jet City Improv

Improv comedy and music based on audience suggestions. Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. Fri-Sat at 10:30.

Theater Sports

Improv comedy with a competitive edge, brought to you by Unexpected Productions. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Fri-Sat at 10:30, $9. Sun at 7. $5.