OPENING THIS WEEK

7 BLONDES · Crepe de Paris

ANYTHING COLE · SecondStory Repertory

CABARET · Kentwood Performing Arts Center

CRIMES OF THE HEART · Driftwood Players

THE DYING GAUL · Intiman Theatre

HAMLETMACHINE · Defibrillator Productions

LOST IN YONKERS · Village Theatre's KIDSTAGE

ONE WEEK ONLY

EL POBRE DIABLO · Cry of the Rooster Theater

INTIMATE STAGE · Dappin' Butoh

MAE WEST FEST V · Union Garage/Odd Duck Studio

RAIN CITY PROJECTS READING · Elliott Bay Book Company

ROMEO & JULIET · Young Shakespeare Workshop

SEATTLE OUTDOOR FESTIVAL OF THEATER · Volunteer Park

CLOSING THIS WEEK

PINKK · Richard Hugo House

RESIDENT ALIEN · On the Boards

TARTUFFE · Theater Schmeater

A TWINGE OF THE FRINGE · ArtsWest

WEST SIDE STORY · Everett Performing Arts Center

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

THE DYING GAUL

The latest from Craig Lucas (Blue Window, Prelude to a Kiss) about a film producer seducing a young screenwriter over to the dark side. Opens Wed July 25. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $27-$42 ($10 for anyone 25 or under; pay-what-you-can performance on July 26; previews on July 20-22 & 24). Tues-Thurs/Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun at 2 (matinee on Wed Aug 15, 2 pm). Through Aug 18.

EL POBRE DIABLO

A mix of puppetry, movement, and music based on the writings of Uruguayan author Eduardo Galeano. Cry of the Rooster Theater at the Greenlake Bathhouse Theater, 7312 W Greenlake Dr N, 721-3934. $12 adults, $8 children 12 and under. Sat-Sun at 2 & 8. This weekend only.

FREE TO BE... YOU AND ME

A live stage presentation of the 1970s children's special which starred Marlo Thomas, and which strove to smash stereotypes with painful sincerity. I suspect this production will be not as sincere. See review this issue. Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. $15 general, $10 ages 18 and under. Thurs-Sun at 7, Sat at 10, Sun at 3. Through Aug 12.

HAMLETMACHINE

Incredibly Teutonic. See Stranger Suggests. Defibrillator Productions at Sand Point Building 30, 7400 Sand Point Way NE, 931-5629. $12 (pay-what-you-can on Wed). Wed-Sun at 9; Sat July 28 at midnight. Through July 28.

MACBETH

Why, why are they trying to do a dark, moody tragedy in bright, sunny parks? I guess it gets dark by the end, but.... GreenStage at various parks; call 748-1551 or go to www.greenstage.org for info. Free. Mostly Fri-Sat at 8; call or go to the website for exceptions. Through Sept 9.

MARISOL

A Puerto Rican woman discovers her guardian angel is rebelling against God. See review this issue. BlüChaos Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 324-6328. $12 general, $10 students/seniors. Fri-Sat at 8. Through July 28.

* MONEY & RUN GO HAWAIIAN

Featuring the Great Thumbless Volcano God Oki. More '80s-television-inspired madness from Wayne Rawley, evil genius. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7. Through Aug 18.

POLISH JOKE

A new play by David Ives, who was responsible for all that All in the Timing crap. If you liked that, I'll bet this--about a young Polish kid who doesn't want to be Polish anymore--will probably be of similar quality. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $30-$42. Tues-Thurs & Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, assorted matinees at 2 (call for dates). Through Aug 5.

RESIDENT ALIEN

Bette Bourne of Bloolips plays Quentin Crisp. On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $18-$20. Fri-Sun at 8 (also Wed-Thurs at 8 in the second week). Through July 22.

ROMEO & JULIET

More Shakespeare in the park, this time performed by an "all-youth cast." Ah, youths! Frankly, this play makes a lot more sense when performed by teenagers. Honed down to a lean 80 minutes. Young Shakespeare Workshop at Volunteer Park, presumably on the stage across from the Museum. Free! Sat at 11am. This weekend only.

TARTUFFE

Theater-in-the-park season begins with Moliere's satire of religious hypocrisy. (Featuring one of the Schmee's founding fathers, Tim Moore.) Theater Schmeater at Volunteer Park, on the lawn between the Amphitheater and the Conservatory. Free. Fri at 7, Sat-Sun at 2. Through July 22.

TROILUS & CRESSIDA

Possibly Shakespeare's crabbiest play, in which everyone is petty, snide, and manipulative. Which is a good thing. GreenStage at various parks; call 748-1551 or go to www.greenstage.org for info. Free. Mostly Sat-Sun at 3; call or go to the website for exceptions. Through Sept 2.

DANCE

INTIMATE STAGE

Performance, video, food, and drink, featuring Maureen Freehill, Joan Laage, and a video of Kazuo Ohno. Dappin' Butoh at an undisclosed location; call 526-5756 for reservations and directions. $10. Sat at 8. This weekend only.

PINKK

This dance piece/installation has the creepiest promo art I've ever seen. See review this issue. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 459-0272. $10. Thurs-Sat; installation opens at 7, performances at 8. Through July 21.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY

7 BLONDES

A tribute to blond icons, ranging from Marilyn Monroe to Britney Spears, all performed by singer, actress, and female impersonator Sunny. See Bio Box. Greg Thompson Productions at the Crepe de Paris, Rainier Square, 1531 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. $20 for the show alone, $49 with dinner. Performances are Thurs-Sun at 9. Through Sept 30.

COMEDY COURT

Improv comedy. University Heights Center, 5031 University Way NE, 442-2044. $7 general, $5 students. First and third Friday of the month at 7:30. Through August.

* MAE WEST FEST V

New work written & directed by women; 90 performances of 30 productions, happening in three performance spaces over four days. Yow! Go to www.maewestfest.org for details. See Stranger Suggests. Union Garage & Odd Duck Studio (1418 10th Ave & one block S of there, respectively), 720-1942. $5-$10, depending on the show; $40 for a festival pass. Thurs-Sun, this weekend only.

RAIN CITY PROJECTS READING

Playwrights read their own work; featuring Kristina Sutherland & Desiree Prewitt, K. Brian Neel & Paul Shipp, and Olga Sanchez. Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600. Free. Sun at noon. This weekend only.

SEATTLE OUTDOOR FESTIVAL OF THEATER

If you want to see The Tempest, Tartuffe, and Troilus & Cressida all at once, now's your chance. Volunteer Park. Free. Tempest on Sat at 1, Sun at 7; Tartuffe on Sat at 4, Sun at 2; T & C on Sat at 7, Sun at 4. This weekend only.

A TWINGE OF THE FRINGE

Four shows from the past Fringe Festival, revived. Includes See Me Naked, "MORE" All in the Timing (I suspect those quotation marks are being abused for emphasis), Burnman Now, and The Dianalogues. ReAct at ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. Individual shows $10 ($9 students/seniors), three-show pass for $24. Times vary, call for details or go to www.reacttheatre.org. Through July 22.

LATE NIGHT

* THE EROTICA PROJECT

Buncha girly smut. "Smart 'n sexy fun for homos and hetero women. Straight guys, go to Hooters." (Final tally from 4 reviewers) Left Coast Theatre, 1100 E Pike St, Third Floor (above NW Actors Studio), 325-6500. $18 general, $14 students/seniors. Thurs-Sat at 10. Through Aug 11.

SEX IN SEATTLE, EPISODE TWO: OTHER WOMEN

The press release is very coy about whether this is about dabbling in lesbianism or not. SIS Productions at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington, 325-6500. $12 general, $8 students/seniors/actors. Fri-Sat at 10:30 (added show Fri July 20, 8 pm). Through Aug 11.

LONG RUNS

CABARET: THE RESURRECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.

JET CITY IMPROV at ArtsWest, 938-0339; at University Heights Center, 781-3879.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at A Contemporary Theatre, 292-7676.

MYSTERIAN at Illusionz Magical Entertainment Center, Issaquah, 425-427-2444.

QUEER AS A THREE DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, 800-992-8499.

THEATERSPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.

ELSEWHERE

ANYTHING COLE

A revue of the music of Cole Porter. SecondStory Repertory, Redmond Town Center, next to Borders, 425-881-6777. $19-$22 (Pay-what-you-can performance on Thurs Aug 2). Fri-Sat at 8:15. Through Sept 15.

AS YOU LIKE IT

After many cross-dressing misadventures, a drag king decides she likes dick after all. Wooden O Theatre at various parks; go to www.woodeno.org for details. Free. Thurs-Sun at 7. Through Aug 5.

CABARET

Fascism is just so naughty! Kentwood Performing Arts Center, corner of 256th & 164th, Kent. $7. Wed-Sat at 7. Through July 28.

CRIMES OF THE HEART

Southern-fried family dysfunction. Hose & Britches/Driftwood Players, 950 Main St, Edmonds, 425-774-9600. $16 general, $14 students/seniors. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2. Through July 29.

LOST IN YONKERS

"Yet another heart-warming testament to Neil Simon's talent." They said it, not me. The entire cast & crew are under 20 years old. Village Theatre's KIDSTAGE, 120 Front St N, Issaquah, 425-392-2202. $5. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 2. Runs July 19-22 and Aug 2-5.

RAISE A RUCKUS

Some musical thing, with dance and comic bits. Seems to feature turn of the century popular music and ragtime; the press release is not very informative. County Village, 23732 Bothell-Everett Hwy, Bothell, 425-806-1485. Not sure how much the show is on its own, but if you want dinner at Stella Mia as well it's $30 (tax, tip, and beverage not included; reservations required for dinner). Fri at 8, Sat at 5, Sun at 2. All summer long.

THE TEMPEST

Shipwrecked sailors hallucinate sprites and ogres. Romantic hijinks ensue. Wooden O Theatre at various parks; go to www.woodeno.org for details. Free. Thurs-Sun at 7 (1 pm on July 21). Through Aug 4.

WEST SIDE STORY

It just won't go away. People love this damn musical. Village Theatre at Everett Performing Arts Center, 2710 Wetmore Ave, Everett, 425-257-8600. $28 Wed-Thurs & matinees; $32 Fri; $35 Sat. Wed-Sat at 8, Sun at 2. (Selected Sat matinees & Sun evenings, call for details.) Through July 22.