OPENING THIS WEEK

ANNE · ArtsWest

CHINA DOLL · Northwest Asian American Theatre

CROUCHING TIGER, FISHING MONKEY · Northwest Puppet Center

DISNEY'S JUNGLE ADVENTURES ON ICE · KeyArena

THE RETURN TO MORALITY · Seattle Theatre Project

SEX IN SEATTLE, EPISODE 3: THE COLORS OF LOVE · SIS Productions

SHADES OF PARKLAND · Vodvil Theater

SPOKEN REFLECTIONS · XODO Dance Productions

SWINK & SWIVE · A Theater Near You

ONE WEEK ONLY

THE ART OF CLOWNING · Everett Theatre

OUT OF THE NATURAL ORDER · New Waves

THE PEOPLE OF THE FOREST · UW World Series

SPIN THE BOTTLE · Annex Theatre

THEATRE OF SOUND · The Little Theatre

TWYLA THARP DANCE · The Paramount Theatre

CLOSING THIS WEEK

à 3 · A Contemporary Movement Ensemble

THE LABORATORY OF HALLUCINATIONS · A Theatre Under the Influence

SHOCKHEADED PETER · The Moore Theatre

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

A COUPLA WHITE CHICKS SITTING AROUND TALKING

Continuing their tradition of only producing plays by writers named "Noonan." Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 935-8420. $29 (includes buffet dinner); show-only tickets $15 (seating limited). Fri-Sat & selected Sun, dinner starts at 6:30, show follows. Through Nov 10.

ANNE

An adaptation of Anne of Green Gables. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 325-6500. $10-$24. Wed-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat at 3 on 11/10 & 11/24, Sun at 3 on 11/18. (No performance on Thanksgiving.) Through Nov 24.

* BURT (OR WHEN I WAS FIVE I KILLED MYSELF)

The troubled times of a young boy. "If by play's end you can't feel for at least one of Burt's excruciating traumas, I want to kick your ass... Most of the cast give strong performances, particularly the leads." (Tom Spurgeon) Theatre Babylon, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. Thurs pay-what-you-will, Fri-Sat $12. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Nov 10.

* CHERRY CHERRY LEMON

All about girls and sex, with Keira McDonald's Showerhead as an appetizer. "[Playwright Keri] Healey's script is both forceful and delicate, knowing and curious, wise without arrogance. It's also hilariously frank, but an undergirding sadness makes the laughs empathetic, and therefore all the heartier." (Sean Nelson) Re-bar, 1114 Howell Ave, 323-0388. $12. Thurs-Sun at 8. Through Nov 25 (no performance on Thanksgiving).

CHINA DOLL

The story of Anna May Wong, the first Chinese American star in Hollywood. Northwest Asian-American Theatre, 409 Seventh Ave S, 340-1049. $12. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 4. Through Nov 18.

CROUCHING TIGER, FISHING MONKEY

High-caliber Chinese hand puppetry. Northwest Puppet Center, 9123 15th Ave NE, 523-2579. Fri at 7:30, Sat-Sun at 1 & 3. Through Nov 18.

GRAND MAGIC

A wife escapes from her jealous husband by disappearing in a conjuring trick. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $30-$42 ($10 for 25 and under). Tues-Thurs & Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, some matinees at 2 (call for details). Through Nov 18.

THE LABORATORY OF HALLUCINATIONS

All the blood, gore, and ichor you could want. "With half the cast outright goofing on their characters, even a lurid climax drenched in bodily fluids falls emotionally flat... [But Jerry] Lloyd's cartoon-like exaggerations aren't just funny, they underline his mad doctor's departure from basic reality. He's scary like a clown is scary." (Tom Spurgeon) A Theatre Under the Influence at the Union Garage, 1416 10th Ave, 720-1942. $13 Fri-Sat, pay-what-you-will Thurs. Thurs-Sat at 8:13. Through Nov 3.

MACBETH

Out, out, damn spot! "Early scenes promise an adventure story with haunting dialogue and plenty of PG-13 skin. Then the actors start talking and ruin everything." (Tom Spurgeon) Seattle Shakespeare Company at the Performance Studio, Seattle Center House, 325-6500. $10-$24. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 2. Through Nov 11.

* ONCE WHEN I WAS LOST

The experimental theater troupe Run/Remain--or at least some of them--return with a new piece. "One has the feeling of an ultra-brainy variety show, or a spastic indie film that has curiously crossed over to the world of live theater." (Adrian Ryan) On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $12 Thurs/Sun, $14 Fri-Sat. Thurs-Sun at 8. Through Nov 18.

OUT OF THE NATURAL ORDER

The press release for this "playwright-based live radio omnibus" doesn't mention any of the playwrights involved. New Waves at the Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 325-6500. $12 general, $8 members of TPS, $6 students/seniors. Fri-Sat at 8, this weekend only.

THE PRIMARY ENGLISH CLASS

Reviewed this issue. A bunch of foreigners try to learn the English language, or the American one anyway. Bridges International Repertory Theatre at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 325-6500. $25. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 2 & 7. Through Nov 11.

PROOF

Even mathematical geniuses fall in love. "The play hinges on an emotional bruise and the need for an apology. That's a genuine human conflict, true--but it's damn slender for an evening of theater." (Bret Fetzer) Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $15-$44 ($10 for anyone under 25). Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun at 2 (also Wed at 2 on Nov 7). Through Nov 10.

THE RACE OF THE ARK TATTOO

Reviewed this issue. A "play and flea market" from hot playwright W. David Hancock. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $16.50 ($10 for 25 and under). Wed, Thurs, Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, some matinees at 2 (call for details). Through Nov 11.

THE RETURN TO MORALITY

A liberal writes a satire of the religious right, only to be taken literally and lionized by his targets. Seattle Theatre Project at Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 325-6500. $15 general. $10 students/seniors. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7 (except Sun at 2 on 11/4). Through Nov 18.

SEX IN SEATTLE, EPISODE 3: THE COLORS OF LOVE

The romantic trials of four Asian American women continue. SIS Productions at the Bathhouse Theater, 7312 W Greenlake Dr N, 324-6500. $12 general, $8 students/seniors/actors. Fri-Sat at 8 & 10:30. Through Nov 17.

SHADES OF PARKLAND

See Stranger Suggests. A love triangle between a bride, a policeman, and a widow. Vodvil Theater, 1408 18th Ave, 329-9198. $12 (opening and closing nights are $25). Fri-Sat at 8. Through Dec 1.

SWINK & SWERVE

Subtitled, "A Corruption of The Miller's Tale" from Chaucer, who's pretty corrupt to begin with. A Theater Near You at Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 726-9814. $10. At 8 on Nov 2-3, 8-10, 15-18.

* WAITING FOR GODOT

An all-female version of Samuel Beckett's tale of two guys standing around. "You'd really have to fuck it up to rob this play of its power, and by the time Didi takes her near-dive into the void, I had existential chills." (Emily Hall) Stepping Stone Productions at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 325-6500. $15 general, $12 students. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7 (Thurs, Oct 18 is a preview). Through Nov 17.

DANCE

à 3

Three new dance works from Holly Eckert, Richard Ayres, and Michael Foley. A Contemporary Movement Ensemble at Freehold Theatre, 915 E Pine St, 2nd floor, 709-7863. $15 general, $12 student/senior (opening night is pay-what-you-can). Fri-Sun at 8. Through Nov 4.

THE PEOPLE OF THE FOREST

See Stranger Suggests. A collaboration between Alonzo King's LINES Ballet and Nzamba Lela, an ensemble of BaAka musicians from the Central African Republic. UW World Series, Meany Hall, UW Campus, 543-4880. $38. Thurs-Sat at 8. This weekend only.

PROGRESSION

A hit from the 1999 Fringe Festival; a dance-theater piece about a blue boy, a purple girl, and gender politics. Burnt Studio Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 325-6500. $12 general, $10 student/senior. Fri-Sat at 8. Through Nov 17.

SPOKEN REFLECTIONS

Choreography to the spoken word. XODO Dance Productions at the Chamber Theater, 915 E Pine St, 4th floor, 568-5367. $9.95 in advance, $11 at the door. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Nov 10.

TWYLA THARP DANCE

See Stranger Suggests. Spiky syncopations, mixing ballet and modern dance idioms. The Paramount Theatre, Ninth & Pine, www.theparamount.com. $22-$55.50. Fri-Sat at 8. This weekend only.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY

COMEDY COURT

Improv comedy. University Heights Center, 5031 University Way NE, 442-2044. $7 general, $5 students. First and third Friday of each month at 7:30. Through Nov 16.

DISNEY'S JUNGLE ADVENTURES ON ICE

Could anything be less appropriate for an ice show than jungle adventures? Aren't those loin-clothed beefcakes going to freeze their balls off? KeyArena, Seattle Center, 628-0888. $12-$50. Wed-Sat at 7:30; also Thurs at 10:30, Sat at noon & 3:30, Sun at 1 & 4:30. Through Nov 11.

NUTS & CREAMY NOUGAT

The ear-candy of Scott Warrender, Northwest musical parodist extraordinaire. Cabaret de Paris, Rainier Square, 1333 Fifth Ave, 2nd level, 623-4111. $45 (dinner & show), $18 (show only). The show starts Thurs/Sun at 8, Fri-Sat at 8:30. Through Nov 10.

SHOCKHEADED PETER

Reviewed this issue. Ghoulish, glorious theatrics. The Moore Theatre, Second and Virginia, 292-2787. $25-$45. Tues-Fri at 8, Sat at 5 & 10, Sun at 2 & 7. Through Nov 4.

LATE NIGHT

SPIN THE BOTTLE

Annex's monthly schmear of schtuff, featuring the butterscotch-smooth presence of host Bruce Hall. Annex Theatre at Velocity MainSpace, 915 E Pine St, 2nd floor, 728-0933. $5. Fri at 11, this weekend only.

YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN

A staging of the Mel Brooks film. Is it really a good idea to put actors in a position where they'll be compared to Gene Wilder and Madeleine Kahn, two of the greatest comic talents of our time? Stepping Stone Productions at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 325-6500. $6. Fri-Sat at 11. Through Nov 17.

LONG RUNS

CABARET: THE RESURRECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.

JET CITY IMPROV at ArtsWest, 938-0339; at University Heights Center, 781-3879.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at A Contemporary Theatre, 292-7676.

MYSTERIAN at Illusionz Magical Entertainment Center, Issaquah, (425) 427-2444.

QUEER AS A THREE DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, (800) 992-8499.

THEATERSPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.