OPENING THIS WEEK

14/48 · Consolidated Works

FIDDLER ON THE ROOF · Paramount Theatre

VALLEY OF THE DOLLS · The Empty Space

THE ZOO STORY · Insight America Touring Theater

ONE WEEK ONLY

RAIN CITY PROJECTS READING · Elliott Bay Books

SPIN THE BOTTLE · Annex Theatre

SPOTLIGHT NIGHT · 5th Ave Theatre

THE TWILIGHT ZONE LIVE! · Kirkland Performance Center

CLOSING THIS WEEK

THE HOBOKEN CHICKEN EMERGENCY · Seattle Children's Theatre

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

14/48

See Stranger Suggests. Two weekends of speedy theatrics. Every night features seven brand-new, 10-minute plays. Featuring the return of Lauren Weedman, now seen on The Daily Show. Consolidated Works, 500 Boren Ave N, 325-6500. $14.48. Fri-Sat at 8 pm and 10:30 pm, through Jan 12.

FIDDLER ON THE ROOF

Theodor Bikel has played Tevye over 1,600 times. That's a lot of "daidle deedle daidle deedle daidle dum." The Paramount Theatre, Ninth and Pine, 292-2787. $20-$56. Tues-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm. Through Jan 13.

THE HOBOKEN CHICKEN EMERGENCY

The conflict between small-town small-mindedness and a giant chicken. A musical. "It begins by chasing a turkey but by the end it turns into a touching Christmas fable.... Enough about the plot though, because the play wouldn't be the same without the great singing and dancing." (Maggie Brown & Sam Lachow) Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $14.50-$22.50. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 & 5:30 pm. Through Jan 5.

RAIN CITY PROJECTS READING

Playwrights read their own work; featuring Stuart Greenman, John Moe, and Scot "Sgt. Rigsby" Augustson. Elliott Bay Books, 101 S Main St; call 686-3126 for details. Free. Mon at 7:30 pm, this week only.

VALLEY OF THE DOLLS

See Stranger Suggests. The definition of glorious excess. The Empty Space at the Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 547-7500. $22-$30. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through Feb 9.

THE ZOO STORY

Playwright Edward Albee's first big splash, about an encounter between two men in a park, accompanied by fragments of other Albee works. Insight America Touring Theater at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike, 325-6500. $14 general, $12 students. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, through Jan 19.

DANCE

No one is dancing this week. How sad that is.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY

SPOTLIGHT NIGHT: KISS ME, KATE

A chat with Kathleen Marshall, choreographer of the upcoming musical, and a look at other musical adaptations of Shakespeare. The 5th Ave Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave, 625-1418. Free. Thurs at 7 pm. This week only.

LATE NIGHT

SPIN THE BOTTLE

Annex's monthly performance emporium, this month featuring the über-fabulous Typing Explosion. Annex Theatre at the Velocity MainSpace, 2nd floor, 915 E Pine St, 728-0933. $5. Fri at 11 pm, this weekend only.

LONG RUNS

CABARET: THE RESURRECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.

JET CITY IMPROV at ArtsWest, 938-0339; at the Ethnic Cultural Theater (note new location), 781-3879.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at A Contemporary Theatre, 292-7676.

MYSTERIAN at Illusionz Magical Entertainment Center, Issaquah, (425) 427-2444.

QUEER AS A THREE DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, (800) 992-8499.

THEATERSPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.

ELSEWHERE

THE TWILIGHT ZONE LIVE!

Theater Schmeater hauls its cash cow over to the east side. Kirkland Performance Center, 350 Kirkland Ave, Kirkland, (425) 893-9900. $18 adults, $15 seniors, $10 students, $16.50 groups. All tickets subject to a $1 "service fee," which is an underhanded way of saying they actually cost $19, $16, $11, and $17.50. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, this weekend only.