OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

* ANTHOLOGY
Top-notch sketch comedians the Habit return with a greatest-hits assemblage. "At their best, the boys of the Habit do more than toss off gags--they create little worlds." (Bret Fetzer) The Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 325-6500. $10. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sat at 11 pm. Extended through Fri-Sat April 26-27, at 11 pm only.

ANTIGONE
Frenchy Jean Anouilh's modernization of the Greek myth. Theatre Company #3 at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $10-$12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 27.

CRIMINAL HEARTS
Closes this week. Female burglar helps wronged wife take revenge on her jerky husband. Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 935-8420. $29 plus tax with meal, $15 show only (limited availability). Fri-Sun at 7:30 pm (dinner at 6:30 pm). Through April 20.

FULLY COMMITTED
Solo show about an unemployed actor taking reservations for an ultra-chic restaurant. Last week with R. Hamilton Wright; David Scully takes over on April 28. "Though there are some laughs, the script is bland and mechanical--the theatrical equivalent of a bag of potato chips." (Bret Fetzer) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $24.50-$29.50. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Open run.

HAIR
Closes this week. The closest thing to a rock musical before Hedwig, now a nostalgia-fest. Featuring "brief nudity." The 5th Ave Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave, 292-2787. $12-$48. Tues-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm. Through April 21.

HOLES
Young boy unjustly sentenced to hard labor; sneaky warden has a secret agenda. Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St, Seattle Center, 442-3322. $21.50-$24.50 adults, $14.50-$17.50 for kids/seniors. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 & 5:30 pm. Through June 23.

* IF I DIE IN A COMBAT ZONE
A bunch of the boys in this testosterone-driven Vietnam War show are total hotties. "The actors work together like a well-trained troop... If I Die is that rare thing in theater: a long play that doesn't drag or whither." (Brian Goedde) Book-It at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 325-6500. $19 (senior/student/group discounts). Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through April 28.

* INTO THE WEST
Two kids and a horse. What more do you need? "This production exemplifies the best of what theater can do with a simple set, a good script, and amazing actors." (Rebecca Brown) Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St at Seattle Center, 441-3322. Adults $21.50-$22.50, senior/student/child $14.50-$15.50. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 & 5:30 pm. Through April 28.

* IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME
A new musical about, you know, love and stuff. An "Audience Favorite" at the last Fringe Festival. "It was clunky and corny, but nothing I could possibly call predictable. Even with its flaws, I left feeling that this was a great little show." (Adrian Ryan) Umbrella Arts at Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 281-4285. $15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 6 pm. Through April 28.

LOVERS & MADMEN
Opening. Sort of a Shakespeare-love-scene casserole. Seattle Shakespeare Company at the Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 325-6500. $10-$24. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through May 5.

THE MAN WHO WAS THURSDAY
Closes this week. John Longenbaugh adapts G. K. Chesterton's Edwardian spy novel. "In the guise of a spy adventure, Thursday tries to create a grandiose religious metaphor... the execution of clever plot mechanics supersedes any genuine human character." (Bret Fetzer) Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $10-$26. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat at 2 pm. (Fri nights feature NightCap Comedy Improv at 10:15 pm, $5.) Through April 20.

NINE HOLES GOES CRAZY
Reviewed this week. Buncha short plays, sorta on the theme of madness. Theatre Babylon at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $12 (pay-what-you-can on Thursdays). Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 27.

NYMPH
This week only. Music and Butoh-inflected madness from the Degenerate Art Ensemble. On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $16-$18 (student discounts available). Thurs-Sat at 8 pm.

OBON: TALES OF RAIN AND MOONLIGHT
Opening. Ping Chong's melange of puppets, music, and live actors, based on Japanese ghost stories. Seattle Repertory Theatre, Second and Mercer, 443-2222. $15-$44. Tues-Sun at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through May 15.

OLEANNA
Closes this week. He said, she said, he loses his tenure. Motley Theater at Theatre 4, Seattle Center House, 4th floor, 325-6500. $15 Fri-Sat, $12 Sun. Fri-Sun at 7:30 pm. Through April 20.

SLOW CHILDREN
Opening. Something to do with donut-eating cops and glam-metal rockers. Bald Faced Lie at Re-bar, 1114 Howell St (at Boren), 323-0388. $12-$15. Fri-Sun at 8 pm (pay-what-you-will preview on Thurs April 18, 8 pm). Through May 25.

TEATRO ZINZANNI: DINNER & DREAMS
The most expensive dinner theater of all time; three hours of gluttony, lust, and eye candy. Featuring the effervescent yet earthy Kevin Kent. Teatro ZinZanni, Sixth & Battery, 805-0015. $89 Wed-Fri & Sun, $99 Sat (includes dinner, but not beverages or gratuity). Wed-Sat at 6:30 pm, Sun at 5:30 pm. Open run.

TITUS ANDRONICUS
Reviewed this week. Not one of Shakespeare's best, but neither was Cymbeline, and Intiman's production kicked ass. Directed by Bartlett Sher. Intiman Theatre, Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $30-$42 ($10 for anyone 25 & under). Tues-Thurs & Sun at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm (Wed matinee at 2 pm on April 24). Through April 27.

TWILIGHT ZONE MARATHON
Four episodes, back-to-back. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $15 Fri-Sat, $12 Thurs-Sun. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through April 27.

VERA WILDE
Opening. The creative team of Chris Jeffries and Allison Narver (responsible for The Fatty Arbuckle Spookhouse Revue and I See London, I See France) tackle Oscar Wilde and Russian political activist Vera Zasulich. The Empty Space, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $20-$30. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through May 18.

WELCOME TO KITTY HAWK
Opening. Vaudevillian interpretation of three artists from 1950s New York--John Ashberry, Grace Hartigan, and Frank O'Hara. Printer's Devil Theatre at the Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 329-2629. $10 Thur/Sun, $12 Fri-Sat. Thurs-Sun at 8 pm, also Fri-Sat at 9:30 pm. Through April 28.

THE WINDHORSE
Opening. An epic comedy about Genghis Khan. The Shunpike Arts Collective at Sand Point Naval Base, bldg. 67, room 110, 7400 Sand Point Way NE, 795-4388. $10. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sat at 2 pm. Through May 11.

DANCE

* BRIGHTEST PLACE
Opening. Choreography by Corinna Befort, in collaboration with composers, filmmakers, and sculptors. Velocity MainSpace, 915 E Pine St, 2nd floor, 324-6780. $12. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 27.

* POINTS DE FUITE
This week only. Dance troupe Compagnie Maguy Marin--they are so very French! UW World Series, Meany Hall, UW campus, 543-4880, $32. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY

IMPROVISED SHAKESPEARE
Opening. Like Shakespeare, but made up. The new trend in improv; see also The Lost Folio. Unexpected Productions at Market Theatre, Post Alley (you know, down below the pig), 781-9273. $10. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Open run.

LATE NIGHT

ESCURIAL
A sick king bickers with his jester. Hoi Polloi Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 3rd floor, 324-6328. $10. Thurs-Sat at 10 pm. Through May 11.

JUST IMPROV
This week only. Just what it says. The Bathhouse Theater, 7312 W Greenlake Dr N,

www.justimprov.com, $5 (free if you see The Habit Anthology). Fri at 10 pm.

THE LOST FOLIO
Opening. Like Shakespeare, but made up. The new trend in improv; see also Improvised Shakespeare. Jet City Improv at the Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 325-6500. $8. Fri-Sat at 10 pm, Sun at 4:30 pm. Through May 4.

* MONEY & RUN, EPISODE 3
Subtitled: Save the Last Dance for Run. The usual lowbrow high-jinks and slow-motion fight choreography. Featuring Stranger writer Tamara Paris (who is pretty, friendly, and would never piss on my couch, eat all my breakfast cereal, or steal my TV while I was at work) as Big Momma Bob! Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. $10. Thurs-Sat at 11 pm. Through April 27.

SLICE OF THE APPLE BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA
This week only. Drag, dancing, games, and a Supermodel Star Search--featuring Harmonica Sunbeam. The Catwalk, 172 S Washington, no reservations needed. $9. Thurs April 18 at 9 pm.