ANNIE GET YOUR GUN
Final week. That old hack Irving Berlin muddles up another delightful story with those damned songs of his. Driftwood Players at Wade James Theatre, 950 Main St, Edmonds, 425-774-9600. $17-$20. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 21.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER
Two punks wreak good-natured havoc on a hidebound Christmas institution. Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 325-6500. $10-$18. Thurs-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 28.
BLACK NATIVITY
Intiman remounts its always-excellent production of Langston Hughes' beloved "gospel song play," starring the Total Experience Gospel Choir. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $10-$64. Tues at 7:30 pm, Wed at 2 and 7:30 pm, Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 28.
* THE BREAKFAST CLUB
See Stranger Suggests and theater preview. One weekend only. The show Kennewick doesn't want you to see! Kennewick High School Drama Department's theatrical adaptation of the film at Consolidated Works, 500 Boren Ave N, 381-3218. $7-$14. Fri at 8 pm. Sat at 2 and 8 pm.
* BRENT OR BRENDA?
Scot Auguston's newest "is a zesty and superfunny biography of a hapless transvestite making his way through life. Brent or Brenda? is sweet, smart, and silly--the funniest thing I've seen on a Seattle stage in far too long. " (Brendan Kiley) Ethereal Mutt at Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Dec 27.
THE CARROLLS OF QUEEN ANNE
Taproot Theatre Company images Seattle as a site of Victorian sophistication. Taproot Theatre Company, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $18-$28. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Tues at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 27.
A CHRISTMAS CAROL
ACT remounts its always-excellent rendition of Dickens' Yuletide-learning-and-growing classic for the 98th year in a row. ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $14-$36. Thurs-Fri at 6 and 8:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7 pm, Sun at 1 and 4 pm, Mon-Tues at 6 and 8:30 pm, Wed at 1 and 4 pm. Through Dec 27.
A CHRISTMAS STORY
Final week. Ralphie gets a gun. Longview Stageworks at Pepper Studio Theatre, 1231 Vandercook Way, Longview, 888-575-8499. $11-$17. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 21.
COLUMBO SAVES CHRISTMAS
Final week. Peter Falk (or some reasonable facsimile thereof) delivers us from evil over dinner. Northwest Murder Mysteries at China Harbor, 2040 Westlake Ave N, 706-7575. $55. Sat at 7 pm. Through Dec 20.
* THE CRUMPLE ZONE
Extended. Fresh from Los Angeles (where it won the Los Angeles Times' critics' choice award), Buddy Thomas' Crumple Zone follows the confused love lives of five gay men in Staten Island for "an adorable night of theater. " (Adrian Ryan) Capitol Hill Arts Center, 1621 12th Ave, 325-6500. $12-$22. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Jan 3.
DEATH OF AN INFORMER
Final week. Interactive dinner theater, set in a 1920s speakeasy. Northwest Murder Mysteries at Ramada Inn (Northgate), 2140 N Northgate Way, 706-7575. $50. Thurs at 8 pm. Through Dec 18.
THE EIGHT: REINDEER MONOLOGUES
Final week. "It seems inevitable that, in a misguided bid for edginess or sociopolitical relevance or even dark farce, some poor soul itching to write an audience-generating Christmas show would conjure up this sort of thing . But The Eight is just a bad idea, grabbed by the jingle bells and run into the frozen ground. " (Adrian Ryan) Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. $12-$14. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through Dec 20.
THE GINGERBREAD BOY
The boy cookie is the father of the man cookie, and so Thistle Theatre's holiday-themed Bunraku puppet has more to teach us than at first we might expect. Thistle Theatre at the Burien Community Center, 425 SW 144th St, 524-3388. $7-$9. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 1 and 3 pm. Through Dec 28.
GINGERBREAD MAN
Final week. A group of cleverly personified kitchen utensils face an ungodly, molasses-infused threat to their secure way of life. Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St, 441-3322. $12-$26. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30 pm. Through Dec 21.
* THE HOUSE OF YES
Final week. Incest is best (and if it rhymes, it must be true...) in Wendy MacLeod's Hollywood quipfest of affluence, insanity, and murder. "The House of Yes was simply made for the theater (literally and figuratively). " (Adrian Ryan) Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $12-$15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Dec 20.
THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE
An old wardrobe becomes a portal and Christ becomes a lion in this ambitious staging of C. S. Lewis' Jesus-freak classic. Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $12-$30. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30 pm. Through Jan 11.
THE MUSICAL COMEDY MURDERS
Mirth, melodies, and murder! Changing Scene Theatre Northwest, 5889 State Highway 303 NE, Bremerton, 360-792-8601. $10-$12. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 27.
THE NO HOLE HOLIDAY
Final week. A pair of evil sisters plot to destroy Christmas by banishing all... holes? Have some Freud with your family musical at SecondStory Repertory, 16587 NE 74th St, Redmond, 425-881-6777. $12-$16. Fri at 7:15 pm, Sat at 2:15 and 7:15 pm, Sun at 2:15 pm. Through Dec 21.
* PULP VIXENS IN INNOCENT HEAT AND DERAILED DESIRES
Local comedy heroines Pulp Vixens present two lesbian-pulp-inspired comedies: "A clever, snappy, fun, and funny montage of Mystery Train meets Melissa Etheridge. " (Adrian Ryan) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $12. Sun-Mon at 8 pm. Through Dec 28.
RED RANGER CAME CALLING
"Unfortunately, this musical rendition fails to capture the simple, heartfelt power of Berkeley Breathed's sweet, sad, timeless children's book. " (Adrian Ryan) Book-It Repertory Theatre, Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 216-0833. $15-$26. Thurs-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm, Tues at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 28.
THE STARDUST CAVALCADE 1943
Harlequin Productions presents a nostalgic return to the days when Americans knew who the bad guys were and committed entire caroling repertoires to heart. Harlequin Productions at State Theater, 202 Fourth Ave E, Olympia, 360-786-0151. $21-$29. Wed-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 27.
A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE
Final week. Tennessee Williams' timeless classic of abusive Polacks and drunken whores. "This version is a fine way to fill any lingering gaps in your education. " (Brendan Kiley) Theatre Babylon at Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $10-$15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Dec 20.
'TWAS THE NIGHT
Final week. Christmas run amok on the usually placid Eastside. Studio East, 402 Sixth St S, Kirkland, 425-827-3123. $10. Fri at 7 pm; Sat at 10 am, 1 pm, 4 pm, and 7 pm; Sun at 1 and 4 pm. Through Dec 21.
* TWISTED OLIVIA
The esteemed Everett Quinton graces Seattle with his Dickens-twisting solo show. "The story unfolds in a lucid shorthand, each ornate personality deftly and vividly articulated. Not to be missed. " (Bret Fetzer) Empty Space Theatre, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $10-$40. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm, Tues at 7:30 pm. Through Jan 10.
VOICES OF CHRISTMAS
Extended. "A song from South Africa, an anecdote from France, a Hanukkah medley--you get the idea. It's a well-executed bit of fluff. " (Brendan Kiley) ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $10-$30. Thurs-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 3 and 7:30 pm, Tues at 7:30 pm, Wed at 2 and 7 pm. Through Dec 27.
THE WIZARD OF OZ
Final week. Adapted with stultifying strictness from the movie, this new production features Laurence Ballard as Bert Lahr as the Cowardly Lion. 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave, 292-2787. $18-$64. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 1 and 7 pm. Through Dec 21.
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN
The precocious kids of Broadway Bound perform the classic musical about the most depressed toddlers in the universe. Broadway Bound Children's Theatre at Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway Ave, 526-5437. $5-$8. Thurs-Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 3 and 7 pm. Through Jan 18.
FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY
CHRISTMAS BELLES
The Divalycious quartet and Billie Wildrick serve up Christmas songs in all genres to complement your dinner at Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 935-8420. $14-$29. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 5:30 pm. Through Dec 31.
DECK THE HALL WITH BROADS OF BROADWAY
Talented people sing brassy Christmas numbers in a small room while you eat. Mad Dog Productions at Crepe de Paris, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. $55. Tues-Thurs at 8 pm, Fri-Sat at 8:30 pm, Sun at 8 pm. Through Dec 31.
HAUL OUT THE HOLLY
Final week. Now in its 25th year, the beloved Seattle Men's Chorus (every member of which is gay as a whistle) presents another shamelessly schmaltzy night of holiday songs. Seattle Men's Chorus at Benaroya Hall, 200 University St, 323-2992. $15.50-$50. Sun-Tues at 8 pm. Through Dec 23.
* AN INTIMATE DINA MARTINA CHRISTMAS
Extended. The worship-worthy chanteuse takes it down a notch with this intimate cabaret in the round: no surprise Pacers, no Elephant Men, just the lady and her piano man--also known as recent Genius Award recipient Chris Jeffries. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $15. Wed at 8 pm. Through Dec 30.
PHOENICIA & VIC... AT THE HOLIDAY LOUNGE
Final week. Wade Madsen's immaculately conceived drag persona Phoenicia returns for this loungy holiday treat, accompanied by Victor Janusz. Cabaret on the Hill at Thumper's Restaurant and Bar, 1500 E Madison St, 328-3800. $15. Sun at 8 pm. Through Dec 21.
DANCE
THE NUTCRACKER
The evergreen holiday classic, gussied up with Maurice Sendak's genius design. Pacific Northwest Ballet at McCaw Hall, 321 Mercer St, 441-2424. $17-$94. Thurs-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 1 and 5:30 pm, Mon-Tues at 2 and 7:30 pm, Wed at noon. Through Dec 28.
THE NUTCRACKER PUPPET BALLET
Final week. For those who prefer puppets to ballerinas (and $9.50 tickets to $94 tickets). Northwest Puppet Center, 9123 15th Ave NE, 523-2579. $7.50-$9.50. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 1 and 3 pm. Through Dec 21.
A TAP DANCE CHRISTMAS CAROL
Final week. You didn't know Ebenezer could shuffle, did you? Anacrusis Modern Tap Dance at Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 325-6500. $16-$24. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 21.
LATE NIGHT
* CARLOTTA'S LATE NIGHT HOLIDAY WING-DING
Final week. The delightful alter ego of Troy Mink provides a sampling of holiday delights. Ursa Major Theatre at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, third floor, 325-6500. $8-$10. Fri-Sat at 10:30 pm. Through Dec 20.
LONG RUNS
BUBBA AND THE BITCH at Bar, 322-1788.
* THE HOKUM HALL VARIETY SHOW at Hokum Hall, 937-3613.
JET CITY IMPROV at Historic University Theater, 352-8291.
LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at ACT, 292-7676.
TEATRO ZINZANNI 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015.
