Our home club, the Comedy Underground, opens its doors for a "Celebrity Open Mic" featuring local superstars, including TV legend John Keister, cartoonist Peter Bagge, and writers from The Stranger. Some spots will be reserved for newbies, so you—yes, you!—could perform on this night. Arrive at the club by 7:30 pm if you want to put your danglies in the water. (Comedy Underground, 222 S Main St, 628-0303. 8:30 pm, $6, all ages.)