OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS
APHRODITE RAVES
Opening. Body by bulk: The healing waves of affirmative multimedia compose Vanessa McGrady’s latest, as part of a several-week exposition of women’s body issues. (Good sign: The press release calls the show a comedy.) BodyBODY at Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 877-278-4842. $12. ($45 for gala reception, Sat Aug 9.) Thurs-Sun at 8 pm. Through Aug 24.
BLUE/ORANGE
See review this issue. A hit over there in merry ol’ England (whose taste as a nation is endlessly questionable), Joe Penhall’s award-winning drama concerns the ideological battle between two psychiatrists over the well-being of a particular mental patient. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $27-$42. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm. Through Aug 24.
FOOTLOOSE
Opening. ‘Cause every time he pulls me near, I just wanna cheer: Let’s hear it for the boy! Let’s give the boy a hand! Let’s hear it for my baby, you know you gotta understand…. Oh, oh, oh, maybe he’s no Romeo, but he’s my loving one-man show, oh, woh, woh, woh–Let’s hear it for the boy! Broadway Bound Children’s Theatre at Broadway Performance Hall, 1725 Broadway Ave, 325-6500. $5-$8. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 3, 7 pm.
* THE GOAT, OR WHO IS SYLVIA?
See review this issue. ACT welcomes a fancy new West Coast premiere of Edward Albee’s latest Tony-winning bestiality dramedy, as directed by Warner Shook. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $35-$39. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2, 8 pm, Sun at 2, 7:30 pm, Tues-Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 17.
HALF MEN HALF AMAZING
This week only. Paraphrasing its name from a Nas lyric (a lyric which always struck me as a little strange, seemingly implying that he’s not only half a man, but also only half amazing), Erwin Thomas and Ayinde Howell perform two “hiphop theatre” one-acts with a premise that makes about as much sense as punk rock yoga. Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 543-4635. $8. Thurs-Fri Aug 7-8, Sun Aug 10, 8 pm.
HANSEL AND GRETEL
“I know I heard somewhere that somebody wrote this piece (there were no programs, so we can’t be sure of anything), but I swear the actors were just making it up as they went along. There was all the klutzy ad-libbing, hamming, camping, and clamoring typical of unpracticed performers–including much tit and crotch grabbing, circuitous ramblings, and myriad sailor-mouthed exclamations. And although musical adaptations of old folk/fairy tales are not unheard of, this one flouted all convention by featuring not a single individual who could sing, and no real music–unless you count as real music a few clumsy and indecipherable lyrics sung over the first few lyric-free moments at the beginning of an old George Michael song. I don’t. ” (Adrian Ryan) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 233-9873. $10. Sun at 7 pm. Through Aug 17.
THE HASTY HEART
To describe Pulitzer Prize-winner John Patrick’s The Hasty Heart, ReAct’s press release makes use of several death-kisses, such as the phrase “touching tale” (the tongue’s most painful alliteration), and the eye-gouging blurb “soldier learns the true meaning of friendship, love and the value of life.” But don’t shoot the messenger. ReAct at Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 364-3283. $6-$12. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Aug 31.
I KNOW YOU KNOW ME
This week only. The “Bedless Bards” of Real Change‘s Homeless Empowerment Project present tales from the streets, culled from over a dozen homeless playwrights. Bedless Bards at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030. Free. Mon-Tues Aug 11-12 at 8 pm.
INTO THE WOODS
Stephen Sondheim’s fairy-tale musical, performed by kids aged 13-20. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $10. Thurs-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 3, 7:30 pm. Through Aug 17.
JEANNE THE MAID
“There are two approaches to a play like Jeanne the Maid–artistic and political. Barring two-bit attempts at commentary, Jeanne the Maid is a rough piece of experimental theater with a few beautiful scenes. Next time, I suggest director Joseph Lavy step out of the way and trust the art to perform its own political labor. ” (Brendan Kiley) Akropolis Performance Lab at Chamber Theater, 915 E Pine St, fourth floor, 271-9923. $12-$10. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 1 pm, Tues-Wed at 8 pm. Through Aug 16.
JOHN LENNON’S GARGOYLE
Opening. A lapse of judgment and its cost–the world premiere of Olympia playwright Bryan Willis’ latest. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $12-$15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Sept 8.
LEND ME A TENOR
Final week. The Cleveland Grand Opera has a problem on its hands–a big, dead, Italian problem–and the solution? MADCAP COMEDY! SecondStory Repertory, 16587 74th St, Redmond, 425-881-6777. $14-$18. Fri-Sat at 8:15 pm. Through Aug 9.
THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR
Final week. In his “most contemporary comedy” (?!?!), Big Willie Styles breaks off another wack jam–and this time, it’s in the park. GreenStage, call 748-1551 for locations, dates, and times, or see www.greenstage.org. Free. Through Aug 11.
MURDER’S BAD, BUT MONDAY CAN KILL YOU!
A triple murder, a psychiatric hospital, multiple personalities, and a gum-covered shoe make up the United Performing Arts Company’s latest production, a murder mystery that cracks wise. United Performing Arts Company, 1420 NW 80th St, 783-7224. $12. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 16.
NINEHOLES RISES FROM THE ASHES
Final week. “All nine 10-minute plays take the idea of resurrection and run with it, to varying degrees of success. Half the plays are ash–useless, burned out, and futile. But this is fully redeemed by the few that burn brightly like a cleansing fire. Wesley Middleton’s Good Thing in the Land of Bad mesmerizes the audience with the musical fairy tale of a bad queen (played perfectly by Amanda Wiehe) searching for her one true love (the very talented Josh Hartvigson) after nearly losing her queendom. Truly the standout of the evening, this play alone is worth the 80-minute wait. ” (Gregory Zura) Theatre Babylon at Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 9.
* POINT BREAK LIVE!
Final week. See review this issue. Little Theatre, 610 19th Ave E, 329-2629. $10-$12. Thurs-Sun at 8 pm. Through Aug 10.
THE SPITFIRE GRILL
Final week. “It flopped on Broadway and they blamed 9/11. That sounds like two loads of BS served with a side of crap, but the excuse might hold water. Something this derivative and formulaic should have been far more commercially successful. ” (Adrian Ryan) Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $10-$26. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through Aug 9.
DANCE
SEATTLE FESTIVAL OF ALTERNATIVE DANCE AND IMPROVISATION
This week only. World-renowned international performers collaborate for a limited engagement of innovative dance performance in correlation with Seattle’s 10th annual Festival of Alternative Dance and Improvisation. Featuring performances by Robert Davidson, Stephanie Skura, Theresa Moriarty, Eszter Gál, and more. Seattle Festival of Alternative Dance and Improvisation at Freehold Theater, 915 E Pine St, second floor, 686-7323. $5-$20. Faculty performances Fri-Sat Aug 8-9 at 7:30 pm, student performance Sat Aug 9 at 9:30 pm.
FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY
2003 IMPROVATHON
This week only. Challenging its own record from last year, Unexpected Productions presents a 53-hour marathon of improv comedy–because let’s face it: Comedy’s just a lot funnier with the benefit of sleep-deprived dementia. Featuring performers like Troy Mink, Tina LaPlant, Joe Guppy, and Roberta Maguire. Unexpected Productions at Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. $10-$30. Fri Aug 8 at 6 pm through Sun Aug 10 at 10 pm.
* 7 LAYER DIP
One night only. An unholy amalgam of performers–including folks like Peggy Platt, Sylvia O’Stayformore, flaming Box of Stuff, and the cast of Sex in Seattle–presents a benefit cabaret in support of this year’s Seattle Sketchfest. Crocodile Cafe, 2200 Second Ave, 444-4294. $15. Sun Aug 10 at 8 pm.
FURIOSO!
One night only. Sketch comedy duo Furioso!, with Joel Dale’s improvised one-man show SoLoCo. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030. $5. Sun Aug 10 at 9 pm.
GLAMAZON FOLLIES
Opening. Another familiar round of pancake makeup and strategic duct tape from the terrifying spectacle of female impersonation. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 723-1945. $12. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 16.
PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS
Australians spend an hour on stage playing with their wangs. Think of it as The Cremaster Cycle‘s retarded little brother. Moore Theatre, 1932 Second Ave, 628-1414. $24-$34. Tues-Thurs at 8 pm, Fri-Sat at 7, 9:30 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through Aug 17.
TALES OF DOMESTICITY AND THE GREYHOUND DIARIES
Divergent subject matter of the mundane, featuring the Eagle’s comedy queen Cathy Sorbo, denigrated weekly on KUOW’s deeply unfunny Rewind. Rendezvous, 3220 Second Ave, 441-5823. $10. Tues at 8:30 pm. Through Aug 19.
THEATERSCHWARTZ
Classical improvisers the Spolin Players present improv the way it’s meant to be… you know, without scripts. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 425-417-5667. $8-$10. Sat at 10 pm. Through Aug 30.
LATE NIGHT
THE TEMPS
Comprising members of the Habit, Up in Your Grill, and Some Kind of Cult, the Temps offer improv for hire–with little chance of long-term employment. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 324-6328. $8. Fri at 10:30 pm. Through Aug 15.
SPECIAL EVENTS
BEND-IT EXTRAVAGANZA
This week only. A three-day celebration of queer youth, featuring drag performance, workshops, a fashion show, film screenings, and much more. Seattle Young People’s Project at various venues. Fri-Sun Aug 8-10, see www.queeryouthrights.org for more info.
LONG RUNS
BROADVILLE CARNIVAL at Cafe Venus, 624-4516.
BUBBA AND BITCH at the Bar, 322-1788.
CABARET: THE ResERECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.
* THE HOKUM HALL VARIETY SHOW at Hokum Hall, 937-3613.
JET CITY IMPROV at Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 781-3879.
LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at ACT, 292-7676.
QUEER AS A THREE-DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, 800-992-8499.
TEATRO ZINZANNI 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015.
THEATRESPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.