OPENING THIS WEEK
ARSENIC AND OLD LACE · United Performing Arts Company
BALMORAL · Taproot Theatre
FAT GIRL FOLLIES · On the Boards
THE FLYING KARAMAZOV BROTHERS · On the Boards
JACKIE MASON: MUCH ADO ABOUT EVERYTHING · A Contemporary Theatre
MISS GOLDEN DREAMS · A Contemporary Theatre
RAGS · Village Theatre’s Summerstock
UNDO · EXITheatre
ONE WEEK ONLY
ALPHA · glassbones
BEYOND KINDNESS · ArtsWest Playhouse
LOST IN YONKERS · Village Theatre’s KIDSTAGE
PIPPIN · Village Theatre’s KIDSTAGE
SPIN THE BOTTLE · Annex Theatre
THE VERITIES OF FIRE · Cirque de Flambé
CLOSING THIS WEEK
AS YOU LIKE IT · Wooden O Theatre
CIRCUS CHIMERA · next to the Auburn SuperMall
THE TEMPEST · Wooden O Theatre
OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS
ARSENIC AND OLD LACE
The all-time staple of community theater rises again. United Performing Arts Company at United Evangelical Free Church, 1420 NW 80th St, 783-7224. $10 general, $8 students/seniors. Thurs-Sat Aug 3-4; Thurs, Fri, Sun Aug 9-12; at 7:30. Through Aug 12.
BALMORAL
A farce about a Communist revolution in Britain, which presumably doesn’t include Stalinist purges. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $17-$25. Wed-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat at 2. Through Sept 1. (NightCap improvisational comedy on Fri nights at 10:15, starting Aug 10.)
* THE DYING GAUL
The latest from Craig Lucas (Blue Window, Prelude to a Kiss), about a film producer seducing a young screenwriter over to the dark side. Reviewed this issue. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $27-$42 ($10 for anyone 25 or under). Tues-Thurs/Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun at 2 (matinee on Wed Aug 15, 2 pm). Through Aug 18.
FAT GIRL FOLLIES
Part autobiographical tale, part standup comedy about living fat. From Peggy Platt, part of Dos Fallopia and a comedian in her own right. See Stranger Suggests. On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $13 Thurs/Sun, $15 Fri-Sat ($10 preview on Thurs, Aug 2). Thurs-Sat at 9, Sun at 3 & 8. Through Aug 26.
THE FLYING KARAMAZOV BROTHERS
Sort of a greatest hits show, with much audience interaction. On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $15. Fri-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun at 2. Through Aug 19.
FREE TO BE… YOU AND ME
A live stage presentation of the 1970s children’s special which starred Marlo Thomas, and which strove to smash stereotypes with painful sincerity. “Is this meant for nostalgia-crazed Gen-Xers taking a break from surfing eBay trying to find their old Fat Albert lunchbox? Or is it intended for actual little people? The kids would surely go nuts over it–the performers all have lovely singing voices, the choreography and staging are charming, and everybody seems to be thoroughly invested. Which is, sadly, what’s vaguely creepy for us grownups.” (Tamara Paris) Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. $15 general, $10 ages 18 and under. Thurs-Sun at 7, Sat at 10, Sun at 3. Through Aug 12.
GATE 17
Rather than the usual sketch-blackout formula, this new show is an uninterrupted flow set in a busy airport. Hopefully it won’t all be stolen from Airplane! Reviewed this issue. Disgruntled Bit Players at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 729-4839. $10. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Aug 18.
MABAIRE! NO ME OLVIDES!
Or, Don’t Forget Me! A musical based on the Yoruba tradition of Cuba about a fisherman who becomes a saint. Rainier Valley Youth Theatre & North-South Conexions at the Rainier Valley Cultural Center, SW corner of Rainier & Alaska. $5 adults, $3 students, seniors, and children over 5. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Aug 11.
MACBETH
In response to my calendar blurb–“Why, why are they trying to do a dark, moody tragedy in bright, sunny parks? I guess it gets dark by the end, but…”–director Ken Holmes called me an asshole. So I hereby amend my blurb: “No one this politically inept could understand, let alone direct, this tale of devious machinations. My sympathies to the cast.” GreenStage at various parks; call 748-1551 or go to www.greenstage.org for info. Free. Mostly Fri-Sat at 8; call or go to the website for exceptions. Through Sept 9.
MISS GOLDEN DREAMS
Joyce Carol Oates’ new play, based on her novel Blonde, about the woeful life of Marilyn Monroe. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $16.50 ($19.50 on-line), $10 for anyone 25 or under. Pay-what-you-will preview on Aug 2. Wed, Thurs, Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8. Through Aug 26.
* MONEY & RUN GO HAWAIIAN
Featuring the Great Thumbless Volcano God Oki. More’80s-television-inspired madness from Wayne Rawley, evil genius. “It’s like rediscovering poetry through a well-told fart joke. [This] latest caper only aspires to be sturdy fun, but at least it has the strength of its own convictions. May its white trash heroes stay ahead of the bad guys forever.” (Tom Spurgeon) Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7. Through Aug 18.
POLISH JOKE
A new play by David Ives about a young Polish lad trying to escape his ethnic heritage. “Perhaps the success of [his previous work] All in the Timing makes Ives feel obliged to goof it up; he’s clearly capable of more intimate writing, if he’d only trust it.” (Bret Fetzer) A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $30-$42. Tues-Thurs & Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, assorted matinees at 2 (call for dates). Through Aug 5.
TROILUS & CRESSIDA
Possibly Shakespeare’s crabbiest play, in which everyone is petty, snide, and manipulative. Which is a good thing. GreenStage at various parks; call 748-1551 or go to www.greenstage.org for info. Free. Mostly Sat-Sun at 3; call or go to the website for exceptions. Through Sept 2.
UNDO
An exploration of creation myths from around the world. EXITheatre at Sand Point Naval Base, Hanger 30, 7400 Sand Point Way NE, 851-6730. $10. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Aug 25.
DANCE
ALPHA
Site-specific dance featuring seven brides, three furies, and a cellist. See Bio Box. glassbones at the brick plaza in front of the Jackson Federal Building, 2nd & Marion. Free. Thurs between 4 & 6. This week only.
FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY
7 BLONDES
A tribute to blond icons, ranging from Marilyn Monroe to Britney Spears, all performed by singer, actress, and female impersonator Sunny. Greg Thompson Productions at the Crepe de Paris, Rainier Square, 1531 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. $20 for the show alone, $49 with dinner. Thurs-Sun at 9. Through Sept 30.
* CIRCUS CHIMERA
A scrappy independent circus, described by a reviewer as “Cirque de Soleil without an attitude.” No animal acts, but lots of acrobatics, including aerial acts, large scale jump rope routines, and foot juggling. The foot juggling looks really great, I have to say. Circus Chimera at the ground of the Auburn SuperMall, 888-ONE-RING. Advance tickets for adults are $10-$14, at box office $12-$16; kids $6-$10 either way. Mon at 7:30, Tues-Thurs at 4:30 & 7:30. Through Aug 2.
COMEDY COURT
Improv comedy. University Heights Center, 5031 University Way NE, 442-2044. $7 general, $5 students. First and third Friday of the month at 7:30. Through August.
JACKIE MASON: MUCH ADO ABOUT EVERYTHING
Humor guaranteed to offend everyone. See Stranger Suggests. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-ARTS. $36-$41. Mon-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 2. Through Aug 18.
THE VERITIES OF FIRE
Fire! Fire! Fire! Cirque de Flambé at the Monroe Center in Ballard, NW 65th & 18th NW. $12. Fri-Sun at 9:15 sharp. This weekend only.
LATE NIGHT
* BEYOND KINDNESS
Matt Smith conducts a Machiavellian child-care seminar. “[Smith] toys with the line between boring and engaging–and messing with this line is one of the most exciting things an artist can do… Thinking audiences will savor Beyond Kindness.” (Stacey Levine) ArtsWest Playhouse, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $10. Sat at 10:30, this weekend only.
* THE EROTICA PROJECT
Buncha girly smut. “Smart ‘n sexy fun for homos and hetero women. Straight guys, go to Hooters.“ (Final tally from four reviewers.) Left Coast Theatre, 1100 E Pike St, Third Floor (above NW Actors Studio), 325-6500. $18 general, $14 students/seniors. Thurs-Sat at 10. Through Aug 11.
* SEX IN SEATTLE, EPISODE TWO: OTHER WOMEN
The travails of four Asian American women looking for love in all the wrong places. “While this show does blow apart the tired old stereotypes that Asians are either not sexy or only ‘exotic’ objects of desire, its excessive silliness doesn’t replace those old generalizations with anything substantial… Great theater it ain’t; good fun it is.” (Rebecca Brown) SIS Productions at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington, 325-6500. $12 general, $8 students/seniors/actors. Fri-Sat at 10:30. Through Aug 11.
SPIN THE BOTTLE
A monthly smorgasbord of theater, dance, music, and whatnot. This month features a Spiderman rock opera and the wild gyrations of the Spin the Bottle Rockettes, among other things. Annex Theatre at Velocity MainSpace, 915 E. Pine, Second Floor, 728-0933. $5. Fri at 11, this weekend only.
TWILIGHT ZONES LIVE ON STAGE
They’re hauling ’em out again. This time around: The Chaser, about a love potion that’s perhaps too successful, and The Obsolete Man, about a librarian sentenced to death. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. $8. Fri-Sat at 11. Through Aug 18.
LONG RUNS
CABARET: THE RESURRECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.
JET CITY IMPROV at ArtsWest, 938-0339; at University Heights Center, 781-3879.
LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at A Contemporary Theatre, 292-7676.
MYSTERIAN at Illusionz Magical Entertainment Center, Issaquah, 425-427-2444.
QUEER AS A THREE DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, 800-992-8499.
THEATERSPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.
ELSEWHERE
ANYTHING COLE/THE PUBLIC EYE
A revue of the music of Cole Porter, in repertory with Peter Shaffer’s comedy of infidelity, but the press release doesn’t say which show is on what night. Better call ahead. SecondStory Repertory, Redmond Town Center, next to Borders, 425-881-6777. $19-$22 (Pay-what-you-can performance on Thurs Aug 2). Fri-Sat at 8:15. Through Sept 15.
AS YOU LIKE IT
After many cross-dressing misadventures, a drag king decides she likes dick after all. Wooden O Theatre at various parks; go to www.woodeno.org for details. Free. Thurs-Sun at 7. Through Aug 5.
LOST IN YONKERS
“Yet another heart-warming testament to Neil Simon’s talent.” They said it, not me. The entire cast & crew are under 20 years old. Village Theatre’s KIDSTAGE, 120 Front St N, Issaquah, 425-392-2202. $5. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 2. This weekend only.
PIPPIN
The fairy-tale musical, performed by students aged 13-20. Village Theatre’s KIDSTAGE at the Everett Performing Arts Center, 2710 Wetmore Ave, Everett, 425-257-8600. $6-$8. Thurs-Sun at 7, Sat-Sun at 2. This weekend only.
RAGS
A musical about Russian immigrants in America. Village Theater Summerstock at the Francis J. Gaudette Theatre, 303 Front St N, Issaquah, 425-392-2202. $5. First weekend: Thurs-Fri at 7:30, Sat-Sun at 2. Second weekend: Thurs-Sat at 7:30. Through Aug 11.
THE TEMPEST
Shipwrecked sailors hallucinate sprites and ogres. Romantic hijinks ensue. Wooden O Theatre at various parks; go to www.woodeno.org for details. Free. Thurs-Sun at 7. Through Aug 4.