Ah, Thanksgiving, the king of holidays. When else does society urge you to devote an entire day to drinking, preparing an epic feast with your family, and then lying around in stupefaction for 36 hours afterwards? Not often enough, truly.
But, not everyone can celebrate Thanksgiving in the traditional, football-and-family fashion. Some of you have dickheaded Republican bigots for family, and are boycotting them in protest this year. Some of you live in aPodments and cannot fit even a Cornish game hen into your convection oven. But, this is America goddammit, and there’s always a way. You’d better move fast, though—there are a lot of people in this town who really don’t want to do dishes.
Have a Traditional Feast at the Dunbar Room
The Dunbar Room at Hotel Sorrento is a marvel of classic, decadent design. It’s been updated a bit here and there, but it’ll still make you feel like you’re living in a fabulous, bygone era. Like perhaps you just took the train out west from Philadelphia to start a new life, wistfully staring out at the prairie over your cigar all the while.
Their Thanksgiving prix fixe is also relatively affordable if you brought the family with you from Philly, being $55 for grown folk and $20 for munchkins ages five to twelve. Children four and under eat free. They’re offering a three-course turkey feast with cornbread stuffing, roasted yams and cranberry compote, and there are ham and salmon options to boot. Dinner is served between 12 noon and 7 p.m.
Pardon a Turkey at Cafe Flora
You might not be Obama, but you too can spare a turkey by taking your brood to Cafe Flora for a vegetarian feast. Though I can’t imagine Thanksgiving without savagely ripping into a gravy-doused drumstick, I could actually imagine myself wolfing down some heirloom potato, celery root, and black garlic soup. And I can definitely imagine myself enjoying pumpkin cheesecake with candied pepitas—perhaps even too much.
Both the adult and kids menus are available vegan and gluten-free, and will cost $70 and $25, respectively.
Take Your Moneyed Relatives to RN74
If Aunt and Uncle Moneybags are in town, let them take you to RN74. They’ll love poring over the list of rare and expensive Burgundy, you’ll love pouring yourself glass after glass of rare and expensive Burgundy, and you’ll all love Chef Ben Godwin’s food. His opulent takes on tradition include butter-basted turkey, roasted chestnut and foie gras stuffing, and truffle mashed potatoes. Yes please!
And though poking fun of fancy restaurants for being fancy is part of our charter here in The Stranger’s chow department, the RN74 feast isn’t actually unreasonable as far as these things go. It’s $70 for the food and $35 more for the wine pairings. Regardless, you should still get gramps to spring for some grand cru. It’s the least he can do after voting Trump.
Deplete the Ocean at Ray’s
This is Thanksgiving, and one does not eat light on Thanksgiving—which usually means one does not eat seafood. Thankfully, Ray’s is here to remind us that, though you might not be ingesting a shitload of tryptophan, you can still induce narcolepsy with crab.
The fancier Boathouse will offer a more traditional Thanksgiving prix fixe, while the cafe will serve up a glorious buffet. I’ve always been partial to the cafe and the buffet really seals the deal here. Case in point: they will have a shucking station, serving raw oysters, peel-and-eat shrimp, and snow crab. Ever wondered how many raw oysters you can eat before you get mercury poisoning? Now’s your chance to find out!
Both options are priced at $55 per person, half that for kids 5-11, and free for those under five.
Make New Friends at Vermillion
Okay so this isn’t technically on Thanksgiving, but who cares. It’s gonna be rad. Gallery/bar/arcade Vermillion is low key the last bastion of hope for art on the Hill (see: John Cristicello), potlucks are always a fun food adventure (if not always a delicious one), and they have motherfucking Time Crisis 2. Oh you’ve never played Time Crisis 2 with a frosty Rainier in hand? Let me break it down for you: it’s a marvel of simple but extremely stimulating game design, you get to team up with a friend and shoot plastic guns at cartoonish villains—your chief adversary is a one percenter in a black suit with a goddamn bowler hat, of all things—and you get to do it surrounded by good humans and good art. Did I mention it’s cheap? If you don’t have family in town to entertain, make that signature dish that your friends always pretend to like, sign up for this shit, and save your cash for the change machine. Come bearing a casserole dish on November 23 at 6 p.m.
See more on our Thanksgiving calendar.