It’s illegal to be naked in your own home in Virginia:

Springfield, Virginia resident Eric Williamson was arrested and charged with indecent exposure yesterday for failing to put on any clothes after getting up at 5:30 am to make some coffee. A woman and her 7-year-old daughter had cut across Williamson’s front yard and saw him through his kitchen window.

I like how the original story makes a point to say that the naked coffee guy is from Hawaii. Well, that explains his shameless hedonism.

27 replies on “Indecent Exposure!”

  2. Wait…what??? They were trespassing, at 5:30 in the frickin’ morning. I think the man had a reasonable expectation of privacy here — I bet anyone a buck this gets dismissed.

  6. So, basically in Virginia it’s illegal to be seen doing anything that might potentially offend someone else while inside your own home?

    Isn’t this one of those states where half the population will instantaneously go ballistic whenever they get a whiff that the gubamint might even be thinking about taking away one of their Kunstitooshunal Rights? But at the same time they don’t believe one has a right to privacy within their own domicile unless they keep all the windows shuttered?

    Is there some cognitive disconnect I’m missing here or is this just plain fucked up?

  8. Um… if they can see into your house FROM A PUBLIC PLACE, then yeah, you can’t walk around naked because it’s like doing it in public.

    However, since the offended parties were WALKING ACROSS THE GUY’S LAWN, I think it would only be fair to drop the charges. Unfortunately it is Virginia so who knows…

  10. i’m trying to imagine the call to 911 @ 5:31 reporting this crime.

    also, it’s just odd to say that someone got up TO make some coffee. don’t most people get up because it’s time to GET UP, and then make some coffee? it’s not the REASON you get out of bed. it’s the means of staying awake.

  13. Apparently, it’s okay to trespass on a person’s property and peep in their window, but not sleep in the buff and get up to make coffee in VA. Good to know.

  15. It’s actually not okay to walk across someone’s lawn and peep in their window, it’s just not a *crime*. It’s trespassing, which is a tort, one that does not require damages, which means the guy should sue the fuck out of this stupid woman, and he will win because she has already admitted to the police that she committed the tort.

  17. @11: that sentence makes it sound like as soon as he had the coffee, he was going back to sleep.

    and if you didn’t have coffee today, WHY did you get up? or are you still in bed?

  18. It’s true, we don’t wear very much clothing here. He probably wasn’t quite acclimated to Virginia’s prudish sensibilities.

  20. I’m not really sure what you’re getting at, SB (@18), but yes, breaking into houses destroys many lives, and especially that of the scumball who gets what he deserves.

  23. This doesn’t surprise me in the least. In Virginia Beach, near Norfolk, it’s illegal to swear in public. If you’re caught, you can be fined something like $200.

  26. The story in your link has been heavily rewritten since you posted it. The woman who made the call was either misquoted by the police, or is lying her ass off in attempt to cover said posterior. I’m betting the latter.

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