ARIES (March 21–April 19): In Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, our heroine encounters a talking caterpillar as he smokes a hookah on top of a tall mushroom. “Who are you?” he asks her. Alice is honest: “I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.” She says this with uneasiness. In the last few hours, she has twice been shrunken down to a tiny size and twice grown as big as a giant. All these transformations have unnerved her. In contrast to Alice, I’m hoping you’ll have a positive attitude about your upcoming shifts and mutations, Aries. From what I can tell, your journey through the Season of Metamorphosis should be mostly fun and educational.
TAURUS (April 20–May 20): Juan Villarino has hitchhiked more than 2,350 times in 90 countries. His free rides have carried him more than 100,000 miles. He has kept detailed records, so he’s able to say with confidence that Iraq is the best place to catch a lift. Average wait time there is seven minutes. Jordan and Romania are good, too, with nine- and twelve-minute waits, respectively. In telling you about his success, I don’t mean to suggest that now is a favorable time to hitchhike. But I do want you to know that the coming weeks will be prime time to solicit favors, garner gifts, and make yourself available for metaphorical equivalents of free rides. You’re extra magnetic and attractive. How could anyone resist providing you with the blessings you need and deserve?