I’m extremely kinky, with an emphasis on extreme. To give an example, I love long-term and extremely restrictive bondage. Think full-body casts or getting locked up for an entire weekend. I’m a 32-year-old straight male who has been married for five years. In the last year we opened up our marriage because my sexual desires were putting too much of a strain on the marriage. My wife is incredible, and we do many wonderful kinky things together, but I needed more. More frequency, more intensity. Since then, I’ve seen some other women but looking around I came to the realization that gay men have all the fun! I often see these incredibly intense sexual experiences that I so desire in amateur gay porn or on various gay men’s fetish profiles. I think men have a higher propensity to pursue these kinds of things. I’ve been talking to a guy who shares a very similar set of kinks, and it’s been great. He showed me Recon, which has opened a whole new world up to me. I’m struggling right now. It’s like a battle between my identity as a kinkster/fetishist and my identity as straight. I think the former is going to win, but certain things concern me. I don’t know if I’ll feel repulsed to have, say, a dick in my mouth. And I don’t want the poor guy that I play with to have to deal with my own internal psychological drama. I grew up in a very rural area that was extremely homophobic. I was bullied and called a faggot constantly. I’ve just recently been feeling less shame about being kinky and now there’s this whole other level of shame that I am scared to contend with. Am I silly for considering doing stuff with men even though I’m a lot more attracted to women, just in order to fulfill these kinks?
Brooding Over Unmet Needs Daily