In case you haven’t noticed, athiests like me RUIN EVERYTHING for EVERYBODY. However, I will not ruin this. What follows is one of the most hilarious, anus-tingling Christian movie trailers ever, in which a small Alaskan town’s Christmas is totally ruined by fat, evil athiest Fat Daniel Baldwin. As it so happens, Fat Athiest Daniel Baldwin is so jealous of hunky Christ Warrior Ted McGinley (who apparently competed with Baldwin for the affections of his own Mom… WHAT???), he’ll do anything to ruin Christmas—even change a town banner to “Seasons Greetings” and man-handle an adorable child dressed as an angel. YOU FUCKING HORRIBLE BASTARD!!! C is for CHRIST, and C is for CHRISTMAS, you fascist, athiest MONSTER!!!!

Watch this.

“Just because God’s out of vogue in the Big City, doesn’t mean we throw him away like last summer’s fashion magazine.” FUCK YEAH!!!!! For that, Christian movie? YOU GET THIS.

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33 replies on “God 1, Fat Daniel Baldwin ZEROOOOO!”

  1. I wonder if they mention the pagan holiday that christmas really came from?

    Meh. If nothing else, religion provides an almost endless source of hilarious entertainment.

  2. The sad thing is that the church I grew up in will probably buy the CD and have a “church movie night” where people are invited to bring their nonChristian friends. So, so happy I’m not there anymore.

  7. is this really ted mcginley now?! i loved him on married with children. i hope he’s just doing this for the money…
    also, does this mean that Stephen has officially infected another Baldwin?

  9. I certainly have had a hard time with Christians and all the shit they spew. And I can point at a huge stack of corpses strewn throughout history to prove my point.

  13. “No person or persons shall be any ways troubled, molested or discountenanced for or in respect of his or her religion nor in the free exercise thereof.”

    Lord Baltimore

    Maryland Toleration Act

  14. “I am not going to let you ruin Christmas for everybody”

    –Yes, Cindy Lou Who…the important part of Christmas WAS the trimmings and the presents…

    … and even the roast beast.

    (And think about all of the people without banners…without nativity displays around the world. Sing it with me: “DO THEY KNOW IT’S CHRISTMASTIME AT ALL…”)

  15. “among the inestimable of our blessings, also, is that of liberty to worship our Creator in the way we think most agreeable to His will”

  17. @10, 13, 15, keep the quotes coming douche bag. youre missing the point. nobody cares what you want to worship, whatever superstition you like is fine, go for it crazypants. the point is that alec baldwin’s neck is Fat and Evil. have a good time and dont force other people to follow your views about religion or lack of.

  23. I’m glad to see this. If there’s room in the DVD market for a movie like this, then there’s increasing room for lots of movies debating marginalized viewpoints. Not that I want to see this one, but I do want to see thoughful moves about, say, economic warfare in modern-day America.

    And, as far as C goes, to quote Cookie Monster: C is for cookie and that’s good enough for me.

  24. Oh no – some vague “other” represented perfectly by Daniel Baldwin is persecuting the poor Christians again!

    When will their torment ever stop?

  25. I had to laugh at 1:10, McGinley is shown praying over his sleepng daughter, who is clad in peace-sign printed pajamas. Back in the 60’s fundamentalists decried the peace sign as the “broken cross”, a symbol of Satan. It was considered one of those false idols good Christians, Jews, and Muslims are supposed to eschew. Do these people have any actual coherent ideology or do they just make stuff up as they go along?

  27. Children, children, please.

    I realize it’s all a bit confusing, but try not to be angry, try not to sin. Go forth and be good sheep.

    I will not be upset if you don’t want to celebrate my birthday.

  29. I’m wating for O-so-brave Stranger writers to take on Jihadi Islam. The trashing Jesus thing is so old, as old as the soldiers who gambled for his loincloth at Golgotha. Yawn, snore zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

    You can tell a man by the enemies he choses. What I see here is a walking cliche and yukking it up with a tweleve year old mind.

  30. @29 here here for the global war on terror! i wasn’t through with the assholes in my community and you’re already thinking ahead to the assholes on the other side of the world! i guess we can’t all be as avant garde as you!

  31. @29 – there’s a difference between trashing Jesus and trashing his “followers”. My favorites are the ones that protest against social services for the poor, because they want to keep their wealth. Hilarious!

    I mean, Christians do make it pretty easy. It’s hard to find a more comically hypocritical bunch.

  32. @19 the point is that there shouldn’t be specific religious displays of any kind on government property. What you display on your private land is your business, but the government should maintain a benign agnosticism. Religion and government should not mix. You -are- missing the point, but rather than address that with valid argument, you called your accuser a pinhead. How intelligent of you.

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