FRIDAY 3/24

MOTOCROSS -- The nonstop, beer-swillin', exhaust-breathin' action will include professional racing, an extreme stunt-jumping showcase, and the wildly popular "Dash for Cash," a four-lap race with absolutely no rules and an unspecified cash prize. Tacoma Dome, 2727 E D St, 628-0888, 7:30 pm, $12-$22.

SATURDAY 3/25

BONSAI POTATO COMPETITION -- In which people vainly struggle to achieve the slightest degree of mirth in an otherwise dark and humorless existence by placing all of their hopes for respite upon a common, dirty potato. Third Place Books, 17171 Bothell Way NE, 366-3333, 1 pm, free.

SUNDAY 3/26

OSCAR PARTY -- Three Dollar Bill Cinema, producers of the Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival, celebrates this year's queer-themed nominations with a night of prizes and surprises hosted by Miss Intermission, because nobody should be forced to endure three hours of Billy Crystal by themselves. Show up as your favorite movie character and you may go home with the evening's Best Costume award. Baltic Room, 1207 Pine St, 323-4274, 5 pm, $5.

MONDAY 3/27

MAKE CHICKEN SOUP -- Share your life-affirming, sports-related personal narratives in the upcoming Chicken Soup for the Sports Fan's Soul. Your memorable moments should help the reader discover basic principles for use in their own lives, such as how to effectively shirk responsibility by faking stomach sickness in an effort to avoid batting against Lawrence "He's Not My Dad, He's My Parole Officer" Katz. Send 750-1,200 word stories to chickensoup@home.com.