MULTIMEDIA OPEN MIC--Tonight and every Thursday is "ThehapPANing," a multimedia open mic. This means people will bring poetry, fashion, film, music, whatever to the "mic," and an eclectic evening will surely result. Aurafice Cafe, 616 E Pine St, 860-9977, 8 pm, free.

SUNDAY 12/30

DAVID CROWE--Crowe was fired from a run of English gigs after he told off-color jokes about Muslims (e.g., airlines should start serving pork and beer on planes to catch terrorists) and all things September 11. Upon his return to the States, a grateful Crowe was met with American ovations, and has since publicly commented on how Americans have better senses of humor than the British. Faint praise, but here's your chance to prove him right. Comedy Underground, 222 S Main, 628-0303, 8 pm, $8.

COALITION OF ANTI-RACIST WHITES--This organization presents a series of exercises and meetings titled "Racism and White Privilege: Toward a Deeper Understanding and Organized Action." The series runs from January 27 through March 3, at an undisclosed location. Spooky! Call 324-8165 or e-mail if you want to be a part of this clandestine activity.

MONDAY 12/31

VICTORIA CLIPPER NEW YEAR'S EVE--The Victoria Clipper is the boat that transports people from the odd city of Seattle to the mysterious city of Victoria. Tonight, the party vessel transports people to and from the odd city of Seattle, circumventing the mysterious city of Victoria entirely. The boat leaves Seattle late at night, allowing lucky passengers to witness the Space Needle burst into multicolored flames from a primo vantage point, then turns right back around to dock once more in Seattle's harbor. Take your Dramamine. Victoria Clipper III, Pier 69, 10:30 pm, $35. Call (800) 888-2535 to make a reservation.